Just found out my (25f) fiancé (34f) dated a minor.

29 comments

1. That’s a tough situation. If I were you I’d play it smart and start looking for a new place to live ASAP. Take a day off work and say nothing and while she’s gone, pack up and go. Then you can choose to either ghost her or explain your disdain and then move on. Moving would also help with the stalking problem unless she follows you home from work or something.

2. So leave her. Tell her youre done because youre unhappy (sounds like you are) and that finding out about this situation with the minor was the final straw. Tell her that if she stalks you or tries to contact you once things are over, you will go to the police (because stalking and harassment are definitely crimes).

   Then block her on all social media and even change your phone number if you’re still worried. Keep track of all communication with her and only ever text. Record any phone calls as well.

3. She’s a predator.

4. Not the same obviously, but she’s dating you, and you’re very young, so this seems like a pattern of power imbalance in her relationships. Yours definitely sounds like a very unhealthy relationship, I hope you can get out of it safely. I think ghosting is an awful thing to do but if you think it’s the safer option for her to not stalk you or something, then go for it.

5. Das a pedophile m8. Leave her

6. You’re right, she’s a predator. She went after a child, no excuses. Get help to leave, she is not a good person.

7. Correcting the headline: Just found out my fiancé is a pedophile. 13 is sickening.

8. I wish you the best and hope you can get out of there :(( moving back in with your dad might suck a bit depending on how he is about those things (staying at home past a certain age, stuff like that) but if it means you can get away from her then i think it’s worth it. Good luck with everything

9. At every interaction just say “you dated a 13 year old” and keep moving.

10. I would get proof before making such a rash decision on leaving her.

11. La Red/The Network is a crisis hotline that includes specialty services for LGBTQIA+ domestic abuse victims. Whether or not you consider your partner abusive now, your statements that she will stalk you or prevent you from leaving if you try will qualify you for their services and support. Please seek assistance from them or an agency like them in protecting yourself and planning for your departure.

12. Just slow down for a moment.

    Did you get ANY evidence or at least the direct connection to the person that accuses her? Because it sounds like you are acting upon something that could simply be not true at all. I mean a friend of a friend has heared something… not the most reliable thing.

    Obviously some good advice has been given to you if it is true, and its obvious that this situation is f*ed up, dont get me wrong i wont defend a child molestar but get some evidence.

13. THIRTEEN YEARS OLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHEN SHE WAS 21!!!!!!!!!

    You *have to* leave her, that’s disgusting >:(

    **edit:** also that relationship is not “dating” that is “child sexual abuse”

14. She is a pedophile, yes you leave her.

15. That is a red flag that is justifiable to leave, but just to make sure, is there any proof? If it is a lot of the advice given here is good, but hearsay isn’t exactly 100% reliable, especially since it’s a case of “I heard from a friend who heard from another friend”

16. Then report her crimes to the police. Sexual assault of a minor. If she stalks you. If she tries to prevent movers from leaving with your things. Call the police.

    You could also ask a friend or family member to come help you and keep her at bay.

17. NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE.

    LEAVE HOLY SHIT THATS DISGUSFINF

18. Bro she’s a pedo omfg😭😭

19. If you know she won’t let you leave, don’t tell her until you’re literally moving things out. And bring people to help who will keep you safe.

    Tell her if she tries to pursue/stalk/stop you, tell her that you will make sure everyone knows she molested a 13 year old and that is why you ended it. It wasn’t dating if she was in her 20’s. It was sexual assault.

20. my ex told me he’d texted a 13 year old when he was 18 and i broke up with him instantly. i told him honestly why and he continued to justify it and borderline stalk but i aggressively put down boundaries and said i would report him if he pushed further. it sucks to do that to someone you once cared about but there are some boundaries i feel which are necessary to put down, especially with regard to minors

21. Leave her and get an Emergency Protective Order, usually those are given immediately and it’s up to the judge two weeks to a month after the first one is issued where you actually go to court and they will continue to a permanent protective order or drop it.

    This gives you time to block your ex on everything and change your phone number.

22. Try and uncouple yourself from her as much as possible without her knowing. Move your shit, separate any finances, try and find a new place to stay etc. Then, write her a scathing letter/text about how she’s a kiddy diddler (amongst whatever other issues you are having), and ghost her. Block on everything, and don’t be opposed to getting a restraining order if necessary.

23. Before you do anything, you need to have a talk with your fiance. First of all, you need to confirm the story that she dated a minor before you go breaking up and ghosting her after speaking to a friend. Hear her story. Not saying that there is anything that would justify a 20 yo dating a 13 yo, but you need to have that conversation before you end it.

24. She didn’t date a thirteen your old child. She groomed and sexually abused her. She’s a predator. Report what you know to the police and dump her.

25. she didn’t “date a minor”, she’s a pedophile

26. I can’t believe I’m the first here to say this, but don’t take everything you hear as gospel. That said It might well be true because she sounds abusive af as evidenced by her making you financially dependent, socially isolating you, and being the kind of person who would stalk you. Those are all reasons enough to sever ties

27. Honestly my stomach dropped a bit reading this because when I was 13 a 21 year old woman preyed on me. Years later she tried to contact me on Facebook and I saw on her profile that she was dating an 18 year old.

    Just ghost her. Detach yourself as completely as possible and threaten with the police and court if necessary.

28. When I first saw this I assumed it was early twenties with late teens. I was wrong. 20 and 13 is not justified, that’s barely a teenager. It’s been 10 years so who knows they could have changed but it’s definitely suspicious. If it was me I would leave as soon as I heard that.

29. Lol you mean she molested a 13 year old, you can’t date one if you’re in your twenties. Let’s call a spade a spade here.