We should be willing to help that person overcome that insecurity rather than shitting on them for that insecurity, shouldn’t we? Truthfully speaking many people on this planet run into similar problems as one another, but just cause people have disagreements doesn’t mean shit on them when they’re down. I get that thing about getting even, but there are some points in time in which you should fight that back and help. And I understand there are complete dickbags out there who have insecurities, but even then it’s common for people to have insecurities. So instead of shitting on them and allowing it to turn into a cycle of shitting on people for insecurities, why don’t we help?
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Because insecure people make the lives of everyone around them more difficult. When you make other people’s lives worse, prepare to be insulted.
Projection and reflection. People see their own insecurities in other people’s insecurities, and deal with it poorly.
What I find more interesting is that people don’t insult every person that’s insecure. They typically only insult insecure people **that they themselves do not relate to**.
Women tend to have sympathy for other women going through certain kinds of insecurity.
Men tend to have sympathy for other men going through certain kinds of insecurity.
But it’s when judging people more different to you that people’s empathy falters. A lot of men don’t take women’s insecurities regarding their bodies very seriously. Things like how some women get insecure about the porn their partners watch because the women look different. There are lots of guys whose response to that is “That’s stupid.” which is a pretty unkind response.
A lot of women are happy to insult men who have insecurities over confidence or penis size for example. It’s a common point of attack when trying to strip down a man they dislike that they imply he’s insecure about one thing or another.
In general we’d all be better off trying to empathize with people who are insecure. Not sure we’ll ever do a great job of it, but I think we’d be much better off.
People get insulted when they act foolishly as a result of being insecure.
Your post is so vague that it’s difficult to know what you’re referring to.
* There are assholes who will insult people for any reason, including being insecure
* There are people who take out their insecurity on others, and so people on the internet will insult them for their behavior
* There are people who sabotage their own chances of success due to insecurity, and so people on the internet may or may not insult them based on circumstances
People should help each other, yes, but if a person’s insecurity causes them to be awful to others, then it’s understandably difficult to lend a sympathetic ear.
people like to project their insecurities onto others.
Because people suck and our species isn’t as evolved as we like to think but that’s just my opinion.
As you can see from these comments, the mere act of having/showing insecurity is worthy of disdain to a lot of people.
Low effort attempt at manipulation without investing in understanding or caring.
As in why do men get insulted for being insecure, but not women? Because weak men are instinctually repulsive to women AND other men. It’s probably evolutionary, where a weak man was worthless in a hunter-gatherer society. But a weak woman would still get protected because she can make babies. We’re all just mammals.
Because we humans will take any opportunity to take each other down. For resources, for fun, for the feeling of being better, whatever.
Are they actually being insulted? Or does their insecurity make them hyper defensive so they *feel* like they’re being insulted when they’re actually not
People or men? Cuz a woman’s insecurities are supposed to be cared for and covered. But a man’s is a sign of weakness and emotional fragility.
Confidence comes from accopishments wich comes from competence.
Nobody is able to “help you not to be insecure”
Confidence is something you have to built nothing that can be given to you.
Don’t be nice for no reason be polite instead. Walking away and ignoring people is your biggest power.
Ehhh… the thing is, it’s like– there IS a line. If someone is insecure to the point where they’re dragging YOU down with them *constantly*, I think it’s valid to get a annoyed.
For example, my mom is insecure that my dad will cheat because they’ve both done it before. Instead of dealing with this insecurity like a normal person or leaving him, she makes us all keep a tracking app in our phone as if we weren’t all adults. She has every store in the area marked to make sure she gets a notification when we go there. And when I was a younger teenager, she would always say “track your father, where is he??” Or “call your dad and ask where he is, but don’t tell him I’m the one asking!” I hated that.
She also set up a shit ton of cameras once, including in my room. My dad and I took that one out, thank god. I’m an 18-year-old guy, it’s MY room, and my mother does NOT need a camera in my room just to make sure my dad isn’t screwing some lady. Ever heard of privacy??
Don’t use your kids as your paranoia police!
I think the real issue is that a lot of insecure people just don’t understand that they’re the primary responsible-person for their own happiness. Reaching out for help with insecurity is one thing, letting it own your ass and making it everyone else’s problem with another.
Because it’s a sign of weakness
I don’t think it’s the fact that they’re insecure, but how they go about it. Let’s be real; we’re all insecure to some extent. But the people who constantly want validation can get annoying, so that might be why they get more slack.
Constantly saying things like “Do I look fat?” “Am I ugly?” “No one will ever want me” can get grating after a while. I think those are the ones who people have a problem with. The ones that constantly let their insecurity damper everyone else’s mood.
For me, it’s less about having insecurities and more about how you act because of them. Being self aware is key.
I think it is because a lot of insecure people, rather than try to better themselves, instead go out of their way to bring others down in order to make themselves feel better. I used to do this myself when I was extremely insecure, I still have insecurities now but I manage those insecurities using self compassion and mindfulness and when I do get the urge to bring another down I do the exact opposite and raise them up. So there is nothing wrong with being insecure at all and there should not be such a negative image attached to it, what there is something wrong with is making others feel crap about themselves in order to make yourself feel better.
I think that some of the times when people are negative about insecurity, or attack someone who is insecure, is because a person that has been making their insecurity other people’s problems. They seek reassurance too frequently. They rely on their insecurity as an excuse for not doing things. They attack other people as a coping mechanism
Youre insecure? Don’t know what for. You turn heads when you post on this foohorrum.
I see significantly less bullying in adults, than kids/teens. Kids are cruel because they’re naive and don’t realize the pain they’re causing – or, alternatively, they very much know the pain and are true blue pieces of shit but I digress.
With adults, it’s more teasing, than it is bullying. We tend to leave the actual shit talking for those that wanna fuck around and find out, and even then, adults tend to keep things on the matter at hand, not something personal. Am I saying that this is 100%? Absolutely not. There’s too many immature adults that will target personal, insecure qualities, especially when they realize they’ve lost/they’re losing the argument.
My point here, is that I find it to be a maturity thing. Should we be better and not further one’s insecurities? Of course. But that means that, much like everything else in this world, it has become our generations’ duty (gen z and mil) to raise our children to be better. If we want a more ideal, a more perfect world, we have to start with the next generation.
“No one is born good or bad. It’s all in the upbringing.”
-Dagon (Supernatural)
Insecurities themselves aren’t why insecure people come under fire-it’s how they wield those insecurities that is unacceptable.
For instance, if someone is insecure in a relationship (say because of past trauma) and that manifests as jealousy, that jealousy isn’t itself bad. But if that insecurity is handled by attempting to control your Partner, by lashing out in anger, or by isolating them those toxic behaviors will and should draw criticism.
If that same person instead recognizes their insecurity and openly tries to work on it, this is commendable. They express patience with themselves, and openly talk to their partner about moments of jealousy while remaining respectful and -MOST IMPORTANTLY-maintaining accountability of their feelings. They may even go to therapy, but the key is the insecurity needs to be faced and not allowed to take the reigns
A healthy person may still feel their insecurities (jealousy), but recognizes the problem is theirs to fix-unlike an unhealthy person who places the onnus on others.
The healthy path is difficult and human and commendable. The unhealthy one is easy, manipulative, and unacceptable. Those are the types of insecure people who get insulted.
Men get insulted for being insecure. Men get shamed and insulted for any display of weakness. Women get comforted for them. No, it’s not fair.
I think people who target insecurities suffer from the same things. Whether knowingly or not they think they’ll safeguard their own by attacking someone else’s.
I think the question kind of answers itself.
People get insulted for being insecure because they’re insecure.
Someone tells you that you’re insecure AKA suffer anxiety from deep routed inadequacy issues and in turn you feel the onslaught of anxiety from deep routed inadequacy issues.
No one should insult anyone for being insecure, but I got insulted by an ex of mine that woke me up. We were arguing, and I kept begging him “please listen to me, please stop yelling at me” while I was sobbing hysterically. And he said, “oh my god would you please stand up to me FOR ONCE? WOULD YOU PLEASE GET SOME SELF ESTEEM?!?!” And I realized he was right. I was pathetically just agreeing with him and placating him on everything and he had no respect for me. We broke up and I’ve never let anyone treat me like that again, but it had to be brought to my attention
And I love that the common response is “just get over it” like that is helpful at all.
The people doing the insulting are also insecure
You’re right. To a point.
– it’s kind of annoying. I’m not responsible for maintaining someone’s ego. Have you ever had a friend that was a little bit needy, maybe they put themselves down too much, too self deprecating, but they meant it, and they always looked to you to contradict it? After a while it’s like, are we friends because we enjoy spending time either each other, or do you keep me around to be a crutch for your ego? It’s a learned behaviour, because if you do it once, they feed off it, and so it’s an endless cycle. but I’m not a therapist, I can’t be responsible for fixing your insecurities. I want a friend, not a project.
– sometimes insecure people lash out in negative ways. Insulting other when it’s projection, putting people down, because it’s the only way they feel good about themselves.
Everyone has momentary lapses in confidence, and sometimes it’s even a phase that you have to go through and find your footing. Social support helps, but you get one life and I’m finding it harder with age to accept being dragged down by negativity from others. Life is hard enough without propping others up all the time.