Confused by her words and actions

I’ve \[29m\] been dating this girl \[28f\] i met on hinge for 4 months now. She lives in the city with her parents and i live \~1.5 hrs.

From the beginning she had an interesting personality, kind of goofy but fun. Likewise, she seemed to have a good head on her shoulders.

By the 2nd or third date, she started hinting at things i can do to “improve” myself i.e. dress better, better haircut, style hair, trim beard etc. I didnt think too much of it. I wasnt dressing like a bum, but it was ok. I wasnt “styling” per say. So i took the chance to improve on myself and got a better haircut, trimmed the beard even shorter, and picked up some better clothes. Nothing crazy, just some simple neutrals that were clean and worked well together. These changes seemed to get her approval.

During the third date, i brought up the idea of potentially having a date out east by me if she’d like to come out as i’ve always been the one to commute to her but seemed hesitant if not completely uninterested in wanting to come out here. I figured she wasnt comfortable yet and would need to get to know each other even more before she would want to come out so i let it go.

During this time, I knew she was “dating” other guys. She mentioned at the end of our second date that she ended up standing a guy up to stay with me longer which made me happy. I didnt mind that she was dating others as that’s what people do until you decide to get more serious.

A few weeks ago she mentioned that someone had asked her out and had made his intentions clear and how i felt about it to which i said that i would like to be exclusive (but didnt make it a requirement) and told her how i felt about her and us and getting more serious. Her response was that she was ok with this and told the guy no (afaik). Prior to this, on our third date, i brought up the idea of seeing each other more but not being exclusive and that I liked her and wanted to continue to see her. she was ok with this and reciprocated.

Then, she went to on vacation for a week and we had another date when she got back. Grabbed dinner and a movie. While waiting in line at the movie theatre, i asked if she’d like to double date with my best friend and his gf and she just kind of smiled/laughed at it as if it was a weird suggestions. She didnt give an answer and i didnt push for one as her reaction was enough. The next day, she texted early asking if i can make it to the city. I knew she was gonna be hanging out with her friends and she didnt ask me the day before so i slept in. When i woke up, i responded saying what time and that i could make it but she had already made plans and said next time. Roughly an hour later, she sends a text saying that she wants to be honest and not date exclusively. I asked what prompted the change but she didnt answer and instead said if we can chat later and that she’s out with her friends. I said sure, ill be around. She then texted me as if nothing had happened, sending me pictures of the food and her friend’s apartment etc but by the time she got home, it was late and she said she’s going to bed.

Again, the next morning she sort of texts me like nothing had happened and when i brought up wanting to chat she said sure, but later as she’s busy. Once again, no word from her until midnight when she randomly texts me about a standing desk she bought to which i responded saying im confused about where we are at.

Havent heard back since (it’s only been like half a day).

This is honestly extremely confusing and borderline frustrating for me as id rather not get stringed along which i guess is what’s happening. I’m not sure what happened but i guess she’s losing interest? What’s weird is that she agreed to the exclusivity but then backed out within a week so idk what happened that changed her mind unless she was testing me (and still is?).

When i dropped her off at the movies, i didnt wait for her to get inside before i drove off and she texted me like 20min after saying i failed the bf test for not waiting. This may or may not have been a joke. idk.

Another thing to mention is that we both work in tech and i was interviewing for a big company and she was saying how i have to do well etc etc. I couldn’t tell if she was being serious or not but when she mentioned about not wanting to be exclusive anymore, she also mentioned how her friends said it’s ok and that interviewing is tough and they wouldnt be able to pass the interview either (i didnt pass) so the not wanting to be exclusive happened after i told her i didnt pass. Idk if there’s any correlation there but i hope not.

I do like her and want to continue dating her so i have no idea what to do now. I dont want to come off as needy/clingy by texting her over and over and she seems to be avoiding chatting? Maybe she’s very very very subtly telling me to just move on. Or hoping i get frustrated and break it off myself since she doesnt want to?

And the reality is, while i dont necessarily have a problem with her dating others, obviously it’s not a preference at this point since we’ve been dating for 4 months. Feels like we’re going backwards rather than forwards. Also a thing to note is that since she does live with her parents, neither of us has stayed over each other’s place and we’ve yet to have sex. However, she did mention early on she’s very passive with physicality and only when comfortable will she start to open up. I didnt get a kiss/kiss her until the fourth date.