Do guys tend to overlook /dislike quiet, introverted girls? If so, why?

33 comments

1. Some do some don’t

   Everyone has types, and types/tastes vary

2. No some specifically prefer those ones however most guys are terrified to disturb women who look like they wanna be left alone due to horror stories online as well as potential lawsuits

   So you may have to try initiating a bit if you notice a guy who seems to like you

3. I mean I like the nerdy bookworm types but it does feel weird trying to approach someone at a library or a bookstore.

4. Everybody is different. I wouldn’t sweat it.

5. I’ve never dated so I don’t know my type

6. Nope, I prefer them but each to their own.

   Hope you find what you seek.

7. I just assume that quiet / introverted girls would have no interest in me because I’m the polar opposite, and like 90% of the women who’ve been into me are eccentric loudmouths. I think the bookish smart chicks are mad cute and interesting, but I don’t wanna come in like a wrecking ball and disturb their peace with my craziness.

8. No this is exactly what I go for but everyone is different

9. No, girls tend to overlook/dislike quiet, introverted guys

10. In the era of MeToo and all the good and bad results of the movement? Clear, concise consent is necessary and in my experience introverted girls are ***fucking terrible*** at giving it.

    I overlook the quiet ones because they are not worth the risk.

11. People who are not social are overlooked and considered boring. It’s true for all genders and all types of relationships.

12. I’m with an introverted girl and it’s probably because you give off a vibe that you don’t want to be approached or Ull think they’re annoying. I approached my introverted girl while she was reading a book, The first time I did that she thought I was weird. So you can imagine why guys don’t approach them.

13. Not really, there’s less self pitying bs from gals who are not shy, quiet, or introverted. Or really a lot less bs in general, at least in my experience. Even if we might fancy a gal like that they push us away before we can really get to know them that well.

    Not to mention how much of a gamble it is to approach gals like that. There’s a bit of femcel bs with gals like that sometimes as well. The whole point I’m trying to make is that you got to be comfortable in your own skin and have any sort of personal problems under control.

14. You know how you’re introverted and quiet? Well, a lot of guys are the same. A lot of guys are just shy and TBH, afraid of rejection.

15. There’s introverted… and there’s shy. Don’t confuse the two. But yes, I tend to find shy girls boring.

16. Same reason women dislike quiet and introverted men.

17. Because it can be a lot of work. Oftentimes “quiet and introverted” is code for “poor social skills” and interacting with people like that requires putting in more than your fair share of legwork to organize outings, initiate conversations, cater to their sensibilities, etc. If someone doesn’t feel like you’re engaging with them or the conversation and have walls up, then it’s like trying to get blood from a stone to pry something interesting out of you.

    If you’re not boring, you’ll need to make an effort to demonstrate that. That doesn’t mean being a social butterfly and hitting the clubs, but it does mean being as enthusiastically engaged with a person you’re interested in as they are with you.

18. Whenever a man doesn’t do something a woman wants the goto reason is he’s scared. How’s this shaming tactic working out for you?

    We aren’t scared of you.

    We do however recognise the danger that women lying presents and act accordingly.

    As for you question.. Point at any guy women don’t flock to and ask yourself why not. Probably similar.

19. Always fell for the quiet ones, since I always was a shy guy. Then again as such, I had always a hard time approaching girls.

    The more you interact with people, the more opportunities arise, that includes the opportunities to send signals to guys you might like. The second thing, if you brainwash yourself into thinking that you’re unexciting/boring, your subconscious is gonna ignore the signs of a guy showing interest, because how could that be.

20. no at least in my experience its vice versa

21. I seek them out

22. I actually prefer quiet introverted girls. My wife is quiet and introverted. The thing about being quiet and introverted is that nobody ever listens to what you have to say, because they’re too busy talking for you to say anything. But if you meet someone who wants to hear what you have to say, there are years of conversations waiting in there.

    The trick is that I’m an X on the Myers-Briggs personality type scale: neither I (introverted) or E (extroverted). That makes me just extroverted enough to initiate, but just introverted enough to understand her. You just need to find an X.

23. >Guys hardly approach me because of my introverted nature

    Interesting that you have somehow managed to arrive at this conclusion.

    > I don’t know if its because they are scared or they simply find me unexciting/boring.

    Scared of **what** exactly?

    …

    I’ve given the above two responses purely because I genuinely want people to actually substantiate/elaborate on the claims and suppositions they make and see if they still make any sense.

    …

    >Do you guys overlook the quiet ones?

    To actually answer your question now; no, I don’t. I’m introverted as well; introverted people are generally more my speed. However, one thing to note is that I don’t tend to have the luxury of “hardly being approached”; I have to go out and be social and make the moves. The analogue in your case, if you insist on being approached, would be to go out and actually put yourself in a position to be approached (actually be in a place where other people are) and make yourself look welcoming to approaches. Is that something you already do?

24. I like introverted girls but I have no idea how to approach our break ice without feeling like a predator….

25. Are you showing interest in them?

    If not then the assumption is that our approach is unwanted.

    Is the interest you are showing overt, or could it be seen as “just friendly”?

    If just friendly it’s a waste of time potentially getting attached to “just a friend”.

    It’s not so much overlooking or disliking, it’s just that we have a better chance of success with women who actually express an interest in us, and make their attraction clear. Anything else comes with the risk of being labelled a creep and accused of harassment.

26. No. Quiet introverted guy here, I married a quieter, even more introverted girl. I was attracted to the mystery. It paid off in a big way. Less chit chat, more sex! Still together decades later.

27. Absolutely not. Some women make it easy for guys to approach because of their outgoing nature. It might be harder for guys to know when you want them to talk to you but that doesn’t mean they want to do it.

    The dating secret for introverts is eye contact.

    Play an eye contact game with them.

    Hold eye contact with them a little longer than you normally would. Flick away and then back to holding eye contact.

    Never have to say a thing.

    They’ll get the message.

28. 1. You probably don’t stand out.

    2. You probably look either angry or very uncomfortable so a guy isn’t going to want to approach you.

    3. You could always do the approaching to show that your interested. But I get the feeling you won’t do that and will continue to be frustrated while not doing anything to change it.

29. My gf is pretty introverted. We’re the opposite of each other and I’d say it works pretty well.

30. Some do. I didn’t… I married her. 34 years ago. She’s sitting five feet from me right now, looking cute but unassuming.

    Best decision I ever made, by a wide margin.

31. I mean, people in general tend to overlook introverted people just because they’re not standing out or making an impression. It doesn’t mean all people will but if you’re keeping to yourself and not making any effort to talk to people, don’t be surprised if they ignore you

32. I think traditional places for meeting people — bars, parties, etc — do not work for introverts. Those settings require a communication style that works better for extroverts than introverts. As an introvert I find that social settings where I have time to warm up, where 1:1 conversations can happen, work better for me.
    I also think opposites attract and mesh well together. The men who are intrigued by introverts are out there!
    I was married to one 🙂

33. My first girlfriend was introverted. I liked that about her tbh, her sister was more extroverted but she just kept to herself so we always made time for each other.