It’s kinda hard to write it down-just the thought about us makes me want to scream and cry. Well… He(21M)is in Canada, I(20F) am in Turkey. We’ve started dating 2,5 years ago in summer -we are childhood friends and he was my best friend as a boy -when he was still here but it was still long distance bcs he was in another province. He came and go, visiting me time to time also we are in the same area in summer-bcs of our summer houses site. I’m in my third year in law school and he is in his second year in cs so we were thinking that i’m kind of in advantage to go there and settle down for myself or-us? I don’t know.
This year my uni decided to go hybrid but most of my heavy duty classes were in person also my exams so I couldn’t even make time for myself and so for him. In pandemic everything was easy bcs my school work was not that hard second year was not that hard. Right now it’s so hard that i just wanna cry myself to sleep every night. And i could sense that he doesn’t understand that my major is really hard that i read thousands of pages- cases but he just sees it as if it’s too easy it’s just reading.
Probably he thinks that I couldn’t make time for him that much this year but even in the finals week we went for a quick trip as new years and for his birthday and I couldn’t study enough just to see him after 6 months and I think it was really sacrificing for myself bcs when I asked him if he’d do this he said absolutely not.
2 or 3 weeks ago he broke up with me he said that it is really hard not to touch me feel me hug me and cried the whole time but in that facetime before this talk we were laughing talking etc etc but it was weird already bcs he was in a really weird mood for like a month he was so manly like i don’t know how to explain that phrase but it was not him he was so rude as in comparison to himself.
He was always questioning this relationship but he wanted to start and he was going away and i was always questioning in the beginning and then he started to think about it because his sister was always telling him that you didn’t come here just to go back turkey… like why do you want to make him even more stressed than he should be i know that one day this conversation will happen between him and me but it was always postponed like it’s future me and you problem but she always said stuff like that in our whole relationship so im mad at her.
If i didn’t bring up the question about him wanting to break up he said he wouldn’t even bring that up bcs i have midterms-even this sentence was mine like i told him that wish he’d broke up sooner ironically ofc- and he said that he’s been in this mood for a very long time. But he didn’t realise that it made me feel and think that i’m not enough. Question here is that we were doing this for nearly 3 years and just one day the realization comes to him just like that? I was always questioning too but it was always like okay keep going on no matter what you love each other la la la la… Pollyanna…
Right now I don’t believe him i don’t know. I just think that he wants to break up bcs he wants to have fun out there with girls with his friends without thinking about me. He was really stressed i guess and he couldn’t just admit the fact that he wants a gap. This is my thought. I feel really sad, bored, stressed and ready to blow to everyone and i don’t know what to do. I really miss him… how is this gonna end?
TLDR: Boyfriend broke up with me bcs of long distance and i don’t know what to do.