I (25f) am pissed. A few weeks ago, I met this guy (29m), let’s call him Mike, while at a pub/club and really enjoyed the experience. At the end of the night, we exchanged numbers and continued to talk over the phone, and began to get really close. We would go to movies, often for dinner, hang out at a bar or hang out at my place. I was really into this guy, and because I knew my friends would bug me for details, I kept quiet. I brought them into the loop on Sunday and was in for a massive shock. It turns out Mike was the boss of one of my friends!(Sandy) I was really excited to learn more about him and was unsure why he never once mentioned being the boss at his work.
Well, it turns out “Mike” was actually 32!!!!! I don’t mind my age, but I was mad that he lied and wondered why. I decided to talk to him later about it. We continued our day with sideways glances from Sandy. Finally, I snapped and asked her what the hell the glances were for and if there was something wrong with my clothes. Ladies and gentlemen, here comes the shocking part!!!!!
not only is Mike 32……. but he is also MARRIED!!!!!!!!!
I have been ignoring him since Sunday and he keeps asking what’s wrong.
What the hell should I do???? Should I contact his wife? Should I confront him or simply go ghost?
\*\*TL;DR;\*\* : Been seeing a guy who lied about his age and is married. Should I contact his wife? Should I confront him or simply go ghost?
12 comments
I don’t think you should try to involve yourself with him in any way, so just ghost him.
Ghost him. He’ll know why. The what’s wrong whining is him playing dumb.
I would try to contact his wife. She has a right to know what her husband is doing.
Contacting the significant other can often backfire… She may be in denial and just attack you instead. It happens.
Ghost him… and allow karma to do her thing.
“I don’t date married men.”
And block.
Lmao “what’s wrong?” Ask him if he was born stupid or did he have to practice.
I’d ghost him in case he tries to retaliate against your friend Sandy.
Let the wife know . Block him everywhere. Move on
I don’t know why if a married man is cheating there are more comments about not getting in the middle .
Find the wife on social media, send a message from a dummy account . She needs to know.
If you slept with him, then the wife really needs to know, because she is going to want to get tested, and you should get tested, and there may be others as well- if he was able to lie to both of you, he can lie to anyone.
I assume you have receipts- text messages with detailed plans to meet up, etc, maybe even flirty stuff from him? I’d go nuclear- tell him he has 48 hours to tell her, or you will give his wife the receipts. After 48 hours, send them anyway.
**[Update]** I just want to say thanks for the comments I have received and give a quick update. And to set some minds at ease, Sandy is only working for Mike part time and to prove to her dad a point (summer job). I believe her words were, “it’s only for the extra cash.” So I don’t think Mike can cause too much trouble for her. As for what I think I should do, I will keep many of your comments and ideas in mind. I strongly feel I should contact the wife and let her know, but as to how, I’m still unsure, and if she doesn’t take it too well or if it backfires, I will get a restraining order against her. I’ll also get a restraining order against Mike even if she takes it well, as he knows where I live. As for getting tested, I’m waiting on the results, but I’m not too worried as we always used protection.
Well if you were already banging him, you definitely need tell his wife and have your receipts ready, otherwise she might be submissive wife and only believe his bs and she will come after you,I don’t know about restraining order, but I always thought there should a probable cause for you to be granted one, for example threats, stalking , harassment, none stop emailing, text or calls.
Update, thanks everyone for the advice. I discised to send the wife a envelope with print outs of our chats, ect. ect. and took one of the comments “I don’t date married men and to leave me alone” to answer his endless phone calls and texts and have since blocked him. I also gave Sandy a heads up on my decision.