My gf (f19) myself (m26)….ANYONE I used to talk to (dating matter) she will not tolerate.
I’ve had toxic gf’s that I erase from life, then there’s some girls I dated/talked to but ended because I didn’t have those feelings that strongly towards them but are people I’ve grown up with and know and consider good friends who actually respect boundaries etc.
In my girls words “I don’t give a fuck what they are, if you talked to them in that way you have no business following them or anything.”
I feel it’s very childish and try to explain to her it is, because I don’t talk to these people anymore but they do support me and have been there for me (as really great friends) and there’s one she truly wants me to have nothing to do with them.
It’s someone I’ve known since middle school 2008 around then and I don’t have too many people in my life I’ve known that long because I moved around a lot as a kid. I have a brand I’m trying to start and this person pushed me to start it and keep and striving for my dreams, they support me still even though I broke it off and we don’t talk.
Well now my girlfriend went into my phone and deleted all the numbers, unfollowed from all accounts, and blocked most of them.
I love this girl, I really do but this to me is childish toxic behavior….I guess I’m just asking what you guys think.
11 comments
Sir, I hate to say this but the reason it’s Childish behavior is because you’re dating a teenager. Or also known as a child. Attempt to date someone in your own decade please.
Your girlfriend is pretty young, and likely very insecure. The root of the problem here is clearly that she’s not secure in your love for her. I’d say the solution is figuring out her love languages and spamming them. Since you say u love her, u prob have a good idea of what those are. Make it clear to her that she’s the one u love, no one else. U got this bro
Leave her and date someone your own age.
Some people are comfortable with exes in their lives and other people aren’t and that’s ok. If you guys don’t agree on that it’s kindof a huge issue. If she felt you weren’t respecting her boundaries that’s up to her to stay or leave but it’s absolutely not ok for her to f with your phone
Not to be overly judgmental or anything, but it is childish behavior, but you as a 26 year old are dating what is essentially a child. A 7-year difference at this point in your life is a very large gap and her behavior screams of insecurity. Not necessarily of anything that you’re doing to make her insecure, but her own insecurity of you keeping in touch with other women closer to your age and her fear that you probably have more in common with them than with her. Despite all of that, going into your phone and deleting all of those things is a pretty big red flag. You either need to somehow make her feel overly secure in your relationship or maybe seek someone with the emotional maturity to understand that adults can be friends without any funny business going on.
I don’t know, personally I don’t think it’s respectful to talk to exes (which is what they are) when you’re with someone new. For me, if a guy I was dating felt he needed his exes present in his life like that, I would not be okay with it. It would be a deal breaker for me.
If you aren’t actually talking to these people, I’m not sure what the issue is for EITHER of you. You say they’re friends, but you typically actually talk to or engage with friends?
I think the biggest issue is how your gf handled this. If she’s truly not okay with these relationships you have, the mature thing to do would be to walk away from the relationship if you’re strong on your desires. Going through your phone like that and actually going through the trouble of deleting and blocking them is actually crazy behavior. She has growing up to do.
I don’t think you guys are right for each other at this point.
I honestly agree with your girlfriend. Keeping those friendships causes nothing but problems for anybody that you decide to be with. Any woman would have insecurities about this and Minnie will do the same thing she did others will just move on and find somebody else that fits them first. So if you love her then help her feel more secure in y’all’s relationship.
This is so wrong.
Relationships are NOT black and white. They vary from person to person, so don’t let people tell you that you are required to cut off every single one of your exes. You will know if you need to cut someone due to a risk of infidelity.
I can understand some people feel insecure about exes for good reason, but that can be solved with a lot of communication and proof of loyalty through you continuing to be faithful; NOT her deleting and blocking everyone. That is very concerning behavior. It’s very controlling.
Toxic and controlling, plus she’s kind of young for you.
She’s childish bc she’s a child she’s 19 while u are a grown ass man, come on this is common sense 😭💀
You’re dating a teenager. What did you expect?