i get that as you get older most people don’t really do body counts or keep track of the amount of people you’ve had sex with, etc. but i’m a female in high school and my current body count is 8. i’m not here to get shamed or reprimanded about it, i just want to vent. i feel guilty and ashamed of myself for even having sex, and the amount of people kinda plays a role in how i feel about it also. i just ask myself on what i’m doing with my body and feel ashamed that i’ve done this stuff and the number of times i’ve had sex. i feel gross and keep comparing myself to others over it or how people close to me would feel or react about it, even if it’s none of their business. yes i like sex and don’t really plan on completely stopping being sexually active, sometimes i just stop and pause and all of these thoughts come into mind.
12 comments
You shouldn’t feel guilty or ashamed.
I understand how you feel. My suggestion is from this point forward (if you haven’t already) try to put more thought into why you are sleeping with each person. Are you just doing this for a fling? Do you actually care about this person? Until you can come to terms with yourself, it is probably best to be extra careful about each new partner you have. Maybe eventually you won’t care and you can go nuts, but for now you may want to practice extra caution?
I can relate. One thing I tell myself that makes me feel better is that I was doing what I thought was right with the level of awareness I had at the time. For example, I was going through a tough time emotionally a while back and knew I was in no shape for a relationship, genuinely didn’t want one. I thought that I would be fine with casual sex, that it could even make me feel better. I just left that whole casual sex scene feeling used and gross even though it’s what I signed up for. You live and you learn. I don’t know what your reasons are for being above average for your age. But if with the awareness you have now, you decide you want to be more selective with your partners going forward (forever or just for a while!) then do that without looking back. We’re all just doing the best we can
If it’s making you unhappy, that’s one thing, but if you are feeling ashamed because of societal pressures, then that’s something else. There’s nothing wrong with being sexual, even aggressively so. Bodycounts aren’t any kind of measure of your worth as a person, neither positive or negative.
It’s ok to like sex. It’s ok to have sex. As long as everyone involved is consenting, and everybody’s having a good time, then no problems.
I hope you are kind to yourself and live how you want to in the future. If you want to fuck all the time, great. If you want to slow down, or even stop for a while, that’s great too.
Be safe, have fun, and be kind to yourself
Male here so I may not understand as much. I have many female friends and I can say this, the older we get (my friends range from young 30s to high 60s) the more we realize that body count does not matter. It is more about if you had good experiences in life and not have regrets because when that time passes you do not get it back. Anyone who shames someone for a body count should be ignored in life. They have no idea what the future holds.
Be safe.
Get yours.
Only share that specific number with internet strangers who will never uncover your true identity.
Just don’t count. Then you don’t know. There is no shame in liking sex
Don’t overthink it. And there’s nothing wrong with being sexually liberated. As long as you take care of yourself, and you have sex for the right reasons, then don’t worry about it.
If the number of different partners, aka “body count” seems to be what’s bothering you, why not just find one reliable partner to have sex with many, many times? Hopefully, you are using condoms and some other form of birth control. When I was younger, I knew girls with way higher numbers. They weren’t doing it for their own pleasure or because they enjoyed sex. Most of them were seeking validation, wanted to feel attractive, devalued themselves sexually, and many had experienced some sort of SA. Hopefully none of that is true for you, but if any of it is, you might want to think about getting some therapy.
No such thing as too high of a number. Sexual guilt is taught and the best thing you can realize, there is no legitimacy to sexual guilt ever.
Only guilt I carry around with me is being cruel to some people. The cruelty was the problem. Not if I had sex with them or not.
I’d figure out the source of the guilt and see what I can do to remedy it.
We have to love ourselves no matter what, there is no other choice
Best wishes
No shame, just make sure you know yourself. Have the kind of sex you want to be having with people you want to be having it with. Be safe, physically and emotionally and use protection.
As an adult who had a lot of (very illegal) sex as teen: the only things I regret are when I didn’t listen to my gut, or didn’t actually want to be having the sex I was having.
8…….. That’s it….. if a guy can sleep with 50 girls with no guilt…..why can’t you ?