i (21f) have been seeing this guy (23m) for like 3 ish months. i think he’s developing serious feelings for me because we text like everyday for so long about all kinds of things, he asked me if i was single recently and implied he wanted something serious in the future. most of his compliments are on my personality, quirks, and intelligence. he’s very affectionate and likes to hold hands etc. i really like him but i’m not ready for a relationship mentally or emotionally because of my crap mental health. i’m also working on myself academically and professionally and somethint serious is too much of a time commitment. would he be offended if i just asked for a fwb relationship? how would i go about asking for this?
7 comments
You shouldn’t ask for a fwb relationship from someone who has serious feelings for you. It’s not a nice thing to do and would hurt them even if they do say yes.
I don’t think it would be too difficult. Almost every guy is very happy with an FWB type relationship where he gets sex with no other commitment. I would say just approach it and tell him that you like the chemistry but you don’t feel ready to dive into something serious and ask him if he is okay with just hanging out and having sex. He will almost certainly agree to that arrangement.
Just tell him the truth: essentially what you’ve written here. If he has developed feelings for you, he may decide that fwb is better than nothing. However, if he agrees, I’d anticipate some tension if you start seeing other guys as well
If you’re okay with it possibly evolving into a relationship then just literally tell him you’re not ready for a relationship but want something casual with him.
If you’re not okay with it possibly evolving into a relationship (and him trying to get there) then tell him you have to turn him down because you’re not looking for a relationship but that you do find him attractive.
So you are summer , and he’s your tom
“Sooo I don’t want to date you..but we can fuck from time to time if that’s cool?” How insulting.
Don’t do that to that man. Just bc he’s a guy doesn’t mean he’d be okay with just having sex, especially if he has actual feelings for you. Let him go so he can find someone who wants the same things he does. There are plenty of emotionally unavailable, non committing, “strictly looking for fwb” men for you to choose from out here. You can’t have your cake & eat it too.
He’ll probably accept it but want more and it’ll toxify. If you like the guy, wait and till you’re ready for a relationship.