So I was FWB with someone for almost a year, they have started dating a girl. Im (M 31) they’re (M 21)
I inevitably started to hope it would continue/become more. We were very intimate when we did meet up. I always invisaged a FWB arrangement was strictly sex. No cuddling, kissing or spending time together. But we did spend hours doing the above when we were together.
When he broke the news to me I tried to play it cool.
I said “Im chuffed for you mate, if thats what you want” but I also followed up with “Any chance you could send my spare keys”….
TL;DR I feel the asking of the keys makes me look bitter? Did I handle it right?
Any advice on how I handle it moving forward, I have developed feelings so should I keep my distance?
3 comments
I would definitely keep your distance if you have feelings. Staying close is only going to feel terrible and make it harder to get over him. It sounds like you guys didn’t discuss any boundaries about behavior for this arrangement which explains why it felt like more to you but not to him. Going forward I would recommend being a little clearer about what lines divide a relationship and a casual arrangement to you. Asking for the keys back was totally appropriate imo since the arrangement is over. A friend doesn’t need access to your home unless they’re your emergency contact or something.
You don’t look bitter if you need your keys back. cut contact and you’ll be fine after a bit.
Sounds like you handled it well. I think it’s normal to ask for the key back, since it’s not like he’s gonna need it.
In terms of getting over him: how close are you as friends? If you can spend less time around him that will be best.