My [24 f] and my partner [25m] are discussing opening our relationship.
My partner assumes me that no matter who he sleeps with, he will always come back to me and I will always be the most beautiful to him.
I am really struggling to accept that maybe he could find someone more sexually appealing than me, even though I am sure he loves me.
I guess I just put a lot of my self worth on the way I look, so the idea of someone else exciting him more makes me feel like crap
How do you think I can overcome this?
Has anyone else been in the same boat?
Tl;dr-
Opening relationship. How to not feel like crap about partner potentially being more sexually attracted to other women?
11 comments
In too many open relationships, one is way more open than the other. I feel like it’s his idea and you’d agree because you love him. If it’s the case, then don’t go down that route.
I would kindly suggest you to try threesomes with your partner instead of the idea of an open relationship cause what may happen to your relationship could hurt both of you and from that point and beyond there is no turning back, from a psychological perspective always as well as trust issues etc the former thought could easily be handled with a smart comfortable way as a team:) l wish you all the best 😁
Sounds like you do not want a open relationship, it maybe good for you to consider finding someone who shares those same values with you
Who suggested the open relationship and for what reason?
I asked him if he still has sexual urges towards other women. He said yes, he still thinks about having sec with them. And that he can seperate sex from love. I didn’t want this but now I don’t want him to feel like he’s missing out. He said he doesn’t need it but I can’t seem to let go of this idea, so I’m trying to accept it, and see how it goes
My last relationship ended because she wanted an open relationship. After much discussion and pleading from her I caved in, and boy did I regret it.
Being the jealous type, it absolutely wrecked my confidence as I kept thinking in the back of my head if I’m as good as the other guys she sleeps with or if I’m even good enough (not just sexually) at all. Emotions also get messy, especially when you’re horny. I just couldn’t see how it wouldn’t affect the dynamics of our relationship, like I didn’t want to be downgraded from the main course to a starter or dessert so to speak. Halfway through the arrangement we decided that she wouldn’t talk about her sexcapades, but that meant our relationship was no longer built on trust and honesty.
She kept telling me she loved me but it just got too much, it massively affected my mental health and I ended up pulling the plug with her completely. Might’ve been a massive escalation on my part, but I just felt as if she didn’t share the same commitment to me as I did for her. Open relationships might work for some people, but I guess they don’t work for everyone… just speaking from my own experience anyway.
Sounds like a case of him wanting an open relationship, but you not wanting one, but going with along with it to keep the relationship alive.
You will regret doing something HE wants and YOU don’t.
Do you want to do this?
I’m in an ENM marriage and it’s not for everyone.
That said, maybe this I’ll help?
You cannot be everything to your partner. You can’t be a tall blonde with big tits and short Asian girl. You can’t be pale and dark skinned. Etc.
Everyone is sexy in their own way, and there will be times where you can’t be what he specifically craves at rhe moment, and he can’t be that for you. That’s OK.
What’s great about an open relationship is that you get to experience other people. And if you do it right, you get to have this sexual adventure WITH your partner, and share the highs and lows with someone you are very intimate with. It’s wonderful.
Last story… I have friends who have been in an open relationship for almost 30 years. When they were 40 or so, they hit a rough patch and split for a while. They sincerely dated other people.
And you know what brought them back together? Being non-monogamous together. It turns out that they loved fucking other people (together and apart), and it was going to be really hard to find new people who were into it and *level headed*about it too.
You aren’t meant to be in an open relationship. Leave the relationship.
Only go into an open relationship if you are a 100% comfortable with everything that comes with it. It’s okay if this is not for you. Just tell your partner NO and if they are unwilling to stay monogamous with you, it’s time to move on