Particularly coming off of the waves of a pandemic it feels like it’s been harder to both date and meet new platonic friends. Here’s a list of things I’ve tried. Some have helped, some not so much.
1. Bring my dog to the dog park
2. Go to the bar and strike up a conversation with people I don’t know
3. At a brewery, grab a board game off the wall and invite random people or groups to play
4. Volunteer at various charities or museums
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I’m trying to avoid exclusively using dating apps. I also have the misfortune of living in Minnesota, where people are generally far more reserved and less open to expanding their social circles. That being said, I still occasionally find success and don’t let it discourage me.
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If you live near the twin cities I’d try meetup
Bar trivia, karaoke night, speed dating, people watching at the mall.
I’ll say meetup in most cities has everything from nerd activitiea to pub crawls and singles nights
Any sports league, from darts to bowling to wiffle or softball or volley ball is fun and usually coed
One year I joined a sailing school, who had community memberships to learn and sail.
A friend of mine just joined a bjj place, which had coed classes
Expand your hobbies, get to know ppl.
What the fuck is
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>Bring my dog to the dog park
supposed to do in the first place? What do/did you expect would happen?
Go get some dancing lessons, do other social hobbies/team sports where you interact with other people.
Go on social media and look for meetups / active groups in your area.
Failed online dates and new soccer circles
Join a local sports club, co Ed or not. Meeting a bunch for new guys might introduce you to their female friends.
Dunno, it feels like guys in that age bracket don’t want new friends anymore.
I found rock climbing a good way to make friends, my gym pairs people together
Yo, I live in Minnesota. Come play sports and meet all the people you can handle!!!
There are rec leagues around Minnesota for all kinds of sports. Bags (cornhole), ultimate frisbee, disc golf, and volleyball are all ones I’m involved in this summer. Volleyball can be tricky but all the rest are walk-on friendly.
The only value Facebook has for me is disc golf and ultimate frisbee leagues. Scoreholio is great for finding bags (cornhole) tournaments and leagues (many are casual too.) You can contact some leagues for sports like soccer, volleyball, kickball, softball, and basketball and get picked up as a sub for a team or even join their team.
I don’t drink beer and play board games with strangers. It’s not easy to tell who likes house rules, who is cutthroat, who’s going to argue or talk non-stop about dumb shit, etc.
Come play sports- all the people you want to meet are already out here.
If you play disc golf, Blue Ribbon Pines has league night on Thursday. Coon Rapids League night is Tuesday. I haven’t played at Lakewood Hills in a few years but I thought theirs was Monday? Kaposia has one that I only went to once. There is a league night at the course in Cambridge on Mondays. I think there is a putting league called Forgotten Pars at a brewery somewhere around the Cities on Wednesdays. It’s a putting league and I’m not sure if it has walk-ons but if it doesn’t- check them out anyway. Show up and compliment a few people’s putts and I bet you’ll have no problem picking up some conversations. Show up every week so people recognize you.
For bags leagues, it seems like it only takes a few weeks before people start recognizing you and talking to you with great frequency, especially as the night goes on.
If you like beer, many breweries have bags leagues that are pretty casual. CR’s Bar and Grill in Blaine has one that is on Tuesdays. There are a bunch on Wednesdays that are already underway but almost every league loses a few teams so you might be able to show up and fill in or join someone else who had a partner no-show. You can play Ultimate Frisbee on Saturday mornings in Saint Paul (it’s a cool group but I have been too intimidated to join them because I don’t want to play poorly and embarrass myself.)
TL;DR- come play sports and meet people.
Join a rec league
Drugs.
I took up martial arts and just recently tabletop gaming to meet more people in addition to what you’re doing. If I want to network or find similar field pros I need to hit conventions I think. Otherwise just gotta find more pro social hobbies and cont to be a person ppl wanna be with.
Dance classes
If you live near a city or major area, have a look and see if they have a discord. You can meet people and do events there.
Hit up FB events and look for cool shit. Check out your local arts scene, catch a traveling exhibit, look for food festivals.
When I lived in a big city, I found that holding a sign with an unpopular opinion on it resulted in lots of people walking up to me to either hang out and chat about agreeing with it, or yell at me about how they disagreed with it.
Might not be the safest way to meet new people but…it’s effective!
Minnesota has some great disc golf!
Join a sports club, board game evenings hosted by local organisations, nature walks also organised by local organisations, honestly the options are endless.
However, making friends doesn’t happen in a day.
You have to go frequently and enjoy yourself, socialize, slowly get to know them and let yourself be known.
At some point you can ask someone(s) with similar interests or with whom it clicks to go do something somewhere (come with a concrete idea). Or, if they’re talking about doing something you can either directly ask to join or feel it out and show interest so they might invite you next time. People respond differently.
Now that all said, I’m still struggling with the same issue you’re having as I have difficulty coming out of my shell and doing these things myself. When I do, I’m way way more reserved than I am with the people I AM comfortable with. However, the times I have done this I have seen progression with some people where it could turn into friends.
(And then I disappear for a few months and when I come back I don’t have an explanation as to why because these aren’t issues you wish to discuss with everyone).
I see several people suggesting meetup but it’s not worked at all for me. I’m in a US city of a few hundred thousand people and the only active groups are people age 45+
Check out martial arts, I recommend BJJ. Its never to late to start!
Go join some martial arts classes and you will meet some good folk.
It’s tough. So many people in that age group are
Married and have kids. They can’t really do much.
Play any sports? I’ve met lots of folks through sports leagues. Flag football is one of my biggest hobbies now and I never even played before I moved to Chicago. I’ve also done basketball, volleyball, kickball, etc.
I’m gay and I know meeting people through gay sports leagues is the main way we make friends in new cities, not sure if it’s as much of a thing in the straight world (assuming you’re straight). That said, the TC have a LGBT football league that has a lot of straight folks in it too.
Find a business networking event or three. Meet purpose driven people, make money and friends!
Seriously, I thought it was a waste of time until I started referring business to people I meet at these events. Mostly real estate, but I know attorneys, plumbers, realtors, builders, landscapers, accountants, insurance agents, and more.
If you need something in my city, I know somebody. Then it branches out into rounds of golf, kayaking, family days at the zoo, restaurants and entertainment events with groups of people. It becomes really fun!
Pro tip, especially if you’re shy/introverted: pretend you’re helping the host welcome everyone to the event. Introduce yourself, and ask who they are and what they are looking for or who they’d most like to connect with. Then refer new acquaintances back to previous acquaintances as needed. “Hey Bob, you want to meet plumbers? Let’s go talk to Steve and Carol.” Introduce them to each other and start over. You’ll be surprised how quick you become popular. Work in some talk about your hobbies and find someone who wants to join. Best, easiest way to make quality friends when you’re older.
Im from texas but work the summers in MN. Can confirm, people can be pretty cold up here. Dm me if you want a ramped up contractor to talk to 👉😎👉
Yeah honestly though just talking to more people who share your interests will help. If nothing else, go do a dorky community theatre play. Mf are flamboyant af and always interesting to be around. You dont even need to act, literally just help the light person or help build the set. Worked for me in high-school, probably would still work now.
Martial arts
I’m 28 and struggled to make friends my whole life and this thread makes me wanna cry.
I find relationships arise best when seeking to achieve a common goal or interest, so basically follow a hobby or interest and naturally relationships will develop.
The biggest barrier for me is having shit to do or identifying something going on in the other persons life that I don’t want in mine
Do a funnel!
You know how entrepreneurs gather at social events in order to network? Start hosting your own social events! It can be about watching sports or whatever. Just pick one of your interests and invite people to enjoy it with you.
That way you’ll get to meet people who are a) open for meeting new friends b) have mutual interests c) are forward enough to respond to an open invitation.
Meeting new people is scary. Announce that they can bring a friend. That way they guard against going and feeling left out/awkward, and you’ll get the opportunity to meet not one, but TWO new people. Win-win.
Expect to have a few unsuccessful events before people start to show up. New things are scary and met with hesitance. If you consistently announce there’ll be an event however, people will get used to the idea and even begin to entertain it.
Once people start to show up at your events, remain a good host. Positive interaction is how you make people wanna come back. And people consistently coming back is vital to making new friends. A few good experiences with you and people might be open to hanging out with you at other occasions.
And since you *funnel* a lot of people you can just pick and choose from the ones you like best. Be good to everyone, but only take the relationship further with people you truly enjoy spending time with.
And that’s how you funnel to make friends. Credit goes to Art of Charm podcast.
Easiest places to make friends are at the gym, a cigar lounge, or other place where people are engaging in a specific activity. Activities like car shows, rec league sports (softball, soccer, etc), martial arts, etc. Instead of just trying to find somebody to be your friend, it helps to find somebody that has a common interest because then theoretically it’ll be much easier for you to be friends with them because you have a common connection with that common interest
host a regular poker game
Host a weekly or bi-weekly meet-up/happy hour and ask that your friends bring friends. Networking, but make it fun and non-smarmy.
Idk I talk to co workers and go from there or go to the trendy bars and talk to people there. Met a few cool people from there
take up a new hobby or join some sort of sports league.
I just posted something asking where singles in their 30’s meet people their own age? Help a girl out. Whole Foods? PetSmart? LOWES?!
Join some clubs…
The Meetup app/website and Facebook groups have worked great for me. Although the success of those could vary by location and your interests.
Meetup groups. I used them to great advantage when I became single at 45. There are lots of Meetups for all age groups and all interests.
And if you do not find one that lights a fire for you, start one of your own!
Open mics have changed my life. People out there are really taking a chance and putting themselves out there. Normally they invite a friend or two along who supports them.
Compliment someone on an original song or poem and it will spark a fun memory. They will be talking for weeks about how much fun they had and it’s also likely you will see some of the same people several times.
Hit it off with someone and hang out with them as much as you like. Often times people may be having such a good time they want to keep go out for late night pancakes or a house party.
If you do anything creative it’s a chance for you to share your talent and be vulnerable yourself as well.
i wear merch related to my hobbies and every once in a while i’ll strike up conversations with people that are into what i’m into. that’s yet to turn into actually making new friends, but it’s better than nothing.
Mainly kidnapping, but occasionally I will attend religious services. In my experience the smaller and weirder the religious group, the more friendly they will be initially.
If I am lucky, the religious group is into kidnapping too, which is a shared interest, and also expands my social circle directly.
I spent years cutting it down, I’m not about to undo all that great work.
Bartend or wait tables once a week. Make money and meet people!
I’m in my 30s and I don’t want a social circle. I don’t want male friends. Other men are my competition for everything in this life and as far as I’m concerned they can all piss off. I want women and a career.
Try the meetup app. My husband and I are moving states, and we plan to use this app to connect with people and hopefully make friends.
Long given up on the notion of friends period
Our society isnt setup for so called friends it’s basically all transactional relationships, work to drop dead, struggling all the time alone or giving up and turning to suicide to get out of this cluster fuk perverted sh.. show
Part time job as a bartender. Make money while you do it and walk away with a nifty skill of knowing how to mix and serve drinks.