So iv been with this girl for almost 9 years we have 2 kids together and I have made some really bad mistakes in the past we had a break for about a week and that week was agonizing but we got back together and I was 100% ready to change I told her all the truths up to the day brother gf disided to tell lies about a situation that happend and it ended things pretty dramatically it truly broke my heart 😥 but my question is how do convince somone that you where actually ready to change cuz you didnt want to lose what you had and really learned from all that’s happened I’m truly at a lose rn 😔 any advice would be appreciated thanks
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You can’t make somebody believe anything ever, and probably least that you’re going to change nine solid years of behavior patterns.
When you live with somebody that long, their brain wires itself to expect certain behaviors from you. The more often you repeat those behaviors, the more solidly that becomes your partner’s reality.
You might as well tell them the sky will be black tomorrow as tell them you’re going to change.
The only thing you can do is take the steps required to actually change, and communicate those specific steps to your partner. If you’re lucky, she’ll see that you’re serious.