I met him on a dating app using the blind chat function. Before we started talking he actually knew he was talking to some he likes, but for me I didn’t. Not going to explain how. I enjoyed talking to him because we have things in common, and he seemed like a nice guy. Compared to the other guys I have chatted with, he is the one I enjoyed talking to the most. After finding out what he looks like, to be honest, I don’t find him physically attractive. I still continued talking to him because I know rejecting someone because of how they look can be devastating and blow their self-esteem. I never want to do that. Also I really want to be his friend. What would my approach in moving forward?
14 comments
[deleted]
If you’re going to reject him based on his looks, then at least let him keep his dignity by not asking him to be friends.
Tell him you’re not all-in on him and that he deserves someone who is. It’s the truth and it’s not hurtful (at least I don’t think it is). As far as being friends, you might have to let that go. It’s hard when one person wants more
Unfortunately, physical attraction is also important in relationships, as much as we all would like to think personality is the only thing that matters. I agree that friendship in this case might be hard and might end up hurting him in the long run, because it sounds like he wants to be more.
If its something he can fix like bad hair/ skin then it would be shallow but you have to be attracted to your partner for it to work in all honesty
Don’t waste his time, please.
The nicest , most loyal and best guys for parters are almost never that good looking … in time you will figure that out … will take a decade of shitty boyfriends though. You sure you can’t give him a makeover ?
Let him down clearly and respectfully. Don’t use the blind chat function again. And keep looking!
Well continue to make him wait and string him along and use him as your emotional support (redacted) while you date and get your physical needs met elsewhere op! What else you’re going to do? Extra bonus points if you can somehow manipulate into giving you money while your at it!
I mean what other options you got? It’s not like you can be a decent human being and tell him what you should of told him from the very beginning that you weren’t feeling it? Rather then continue to waste his time and raise his hopes? Right?
You’ll crush him either way. He met you a on dating app. His expectations are to date you. He didn’t sign up for, “Let’s be friends!”
While it sucks to be on the receiving end of being rejected due to looks – and I understand you don’t want to do this – it’s also not your responsibility to keep talking to someone in a more-than-friends way (since you met him on a dating app) just to spare his feelings. It’s not your fault you’re not attracted to him (neither is his), it just something that happened. I would recommend letting him down gently, then not talking to him anymore – being friends is going to hurt him even more.
Either way its your call, but please don’t ghost him. If you’re done with him, tell him.
Have you met him in person? Attraction is a funny thing, often people can be way more attractive in person than in pictures. Also, building a connection with someone can make them seem more attractive to you, so it might be worth going on a date or two before you decide.
omg i’ve been seeing so many things that remind me of Shake from Love is Blind 😃
Do not string that poor boy around having him hold your purse where ever u go please. Just tell him