My bf told me when we were cuddling together that I was too fat and ugly. He said he would love me more if I was skinnier and prettier. He also told me that he could see a huge difference in appearance when I walk with other girls.
I know that I’m not good-looking or skinny, but I also don’t think I deserve to be called ugly or overweight. How should I deal with this? Honestly, I still love him but I’m concerned.
24 comments
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We’d like to take this time to remind users that:
* We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/)
* Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned.
* No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. (Includes, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, FDS, MGTOW, etc.) Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.**
* All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don’t get a free pass.
* What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, “body counts” or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, or situations involving minors and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.**
If you have any questions, please send us a modmail.
—-
#This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
i’d really suggest you left him. is that an option for you?
If this is a real post, I would really question the legitimacy of the relationship. Attraction is important, but if that is the only reason he is with you I doubt your relationship will last
Fuck this guy, who says shit like this?
Leave? Why is this even a question?
It will only get worse
Is this fr? Billions of women in the world and he decided to date one who he thinks is fat and ugly. What a loser. Dump his ass and find someone who won’t say awful shit like that to you
To me this are relationship killing words.
Break up with him! Like girl!! Come on!
You mean ex, right?
if this is a genuine post, the only weight you need to lose is this asshole of a man
He’s negging you, it’s both emotionally abusive and meant to manipulate you into codependency. It’s not even a red flag, it’s just abusive and *no one deserves this*. Leave.
You reply with “I’d love you more if you were bigger and better in bed.” and see how he likes it.
For real though, he isn’t worth your time. Send him packing.
LEAVE. That is very messed up of him. Sometimes guys try to manipulate you by trying to lower yourself so you don’t have the self esteem to demand what you deserve and this could be the case. If he thought you were unattractive and didn’t like you he wouldn’t be with you, physical attraction is very important. And if he loved you so much that he doesn’t care about looks, he would NEVER say something like that to you. Sounds like he is a bad person trying to control you. Dump his ass, I promise you he doesn’t care about you, otherwise he would never say that. And also, if you stay you will have to live with these insecurities and believe me that you don’t get over that, it will just torment you.
Leave! You don’t deserve that! Leave him. No ifs, ands, or buts.
AND THAT’S ON PERIOD!!!
Oh, I’m sure he looks like Brad Pitt or George Clooney rolled into one. Please!
Just before you dump him tell him this “ I didn’t lose the weight because I didn’t want you to feel insecure but now that I’m leaving you I’ll lose the weight and find a real boyfriend.”
He insulted you and you’re “concerned”… why aren’t you mad? You shouldn’t let anyone speak to you like that 😤
This is the least effort I’ve seen put into a creative writing bait post. Congrats?
Tell him he is your ex boyfriend and leave.
No one who actually loves you or cares about your feelings would say that to you.
Emotionally it seems you guys are no where near the same page. You say you love him as your boyfriend, but he obviously does not love you. His loss though, what an obtuse idiot. You’re dodging a bullet by breaking up with him.
He is NOT your Match
You could tell him that he is not fat and ugly. Thank him for his time. Tell him that he is not fat and he is not ugly, but he is your ex-boyfriend. And then move on to better things. Things never get better with people who carelessly insult you when you need them to be caring.
Do yourself a favor, and dump him. You can do so much better.
There’s something absolutely wrong and disgusting about calling a girl fat and ugly while cuddling her. Also please don’t believe he would love you more if you changed – that isn’t love.
You deal with it by polishing your spine and telling him to get out. If he loved you, he would not insult you.