I feel terrible because my boyfriend (22)has a really high libido and I (20F) used to as well in the beginning of our relationship-until I started birth control. Now, I find myself not really wanting to do anything sexual. I’ll have my moments but that’s like twice a month. He’s always commenting about my body and how much he wants to fuck me and I’m just not in the mood half the time but he persists.
I want to be able to enjoy sex but the women in my family all got pregnant pretty young even when they were on birth control, so I refuse to get off of it. I just don’t know what the hell to do. I want to make my boyfriend the happiest and it seems like sex is on his mind 24/7 and that’s the one thing I really cannot provide lol.
12 comments
Ask him to get a vasectomy
Try condoms instead of pills or add some new things to your sex
You’re not doing anything wrong, do what you can when you can. Libido drop is part of it. You can communicate with him things he can do to increase the libido to help the cause as well. Best of luck!
Different hormonal birth control or non hormonal BC. Have you tried some others?
Maybe you should talk to your doctor about a different form of birth control. It’s possible that another type would have a lesser effect on your libido.
You can try an IUD.
What does “he persists” mean? If your bf is pressuring you to have sex when you don’t want to, probably break up with him. That’s pretty horrible behavior and you deserve someone who wouldn’t treat you like that.
There are lots of options for you but you need to look into them with a supportive partner and it doesn’t sound like you have that.
If you think you can really get through to him, try to communicate how much this is a big deal that you both need to be onboard with finding a solution
Maybe find other ways to get him off? I mean you shouldn’t have sex if you don’t want to, but I think if you guys communicate and find ways where you can please him in different ways than having sex vaginally maybe you’ll be able to find something that’s easy for you to do for him that doesn’t require you to be turned on. IE give handjobs/bjs, buy him a fleshlight and use it on him or “show off” in front of him when he uses it.
As I said you shouldn’t feel obliged to take care of him, but I get that you do want to please him and make him happy. From your question I don’t get if you don’t want to do anything sexual at all or if it’s actual penetration that’s the issue.
But my advice is either find other ways to please him (and if he only wants to fuck you then you’ve tried your best) or talk to him about this or finding alternate ways to please him.
Also finding other ways to be intimate than just sex can also be good. I think a lot of people confuse jntimacy with sex and as such they feel like they want to have sex when they really just want intimacy. Trading massages for example can be both really nice and intimate.
Also don’t feel like you do anything wrong, your entiteled to your body and also libido goes up and down for all people. Stressing out and pressuring yourself about it will only make this worse. The best advise is to talk to your partner about this and tell him you really want to please him but explain your situation and you can come to a compromise
use condoms are remove birth control.
Ask him to snip snip if he wants to dip dip.
The pills did the same thing to me so I got a Kyleena IUD and it’s made a positive difference for me
This happened to me. Honestly, if you don’t treat it early enough it’ll be more of psychological thing and that’s harder to treat than changing your birth control. You also might have to come to terms with the fact you two might not be compatible.