I’ve been in a slump and have been questioning my own marriage. We have no kids and are established in our careers. If, most likely, get a divorce then all our assets get split and if you have a spouse that doesn’t deserve those assets and you didn’t sign a prenup well you basically leave with half of everything you had going on. Now if we just never got married and decided to separate but were exclusive to each other if we separated we would just leave with what we brought in. No joint accounts, everything separate. So is marriage really worth it if most of them end in divorce?
Would it just be better to commit to being married with no legal documentation of actually being married to protect your assets if you don’t want to go the prenup route. Hope this makes sense I am 3 glasses of wine deep after having an argument with my spouse.
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Marriage would be better if people underwent therapy to work out their past traumas and poor behavioral traits prior to being married. It would also be better if the two people in question were emotionally mature adults who could communicate their feelings and needs in healthy manner. Probably, also, choosing their partner not just based on love/infatuation, but also taking into account how their partner treats them, their financial goals, feelings about sex, domestic lifestyle habits, hobbies and interest, and how well all of this coincides with their own person (and if being with said person for _years_ is feasible considering all those factors).
But most people don’t think that far ahead.
Well there will always be a legal liability in a relationship. Here in Australia, if you are together in a relationship for more then 12 months. Then you are defacto by law and well it has all the negatives of marriage when it comes to divorce.
So if you have kids …. Etc then we’ll income and assets are all mutual. Also prenups here are useless. Lots of court cases of them being thrown out.
Also who decides if a person deserves or doesn’t deserve any assets from a long term relationship that fails? Just because you think they don’t doesn’t mean they don’t. Women fleeing abusive relationships where courts can force the ex to give them a part of the finances. When the ex thinks they don’t actually deserve it.
Perhaps you should write this without the wine.
Marriage isn’t about the money. It’s about love and sharing. It’s about children and life together. If children aren’t in the picture, shack up, who cares. If having a family is in your sights. Get married, share the money, marriage is about sharing everything. If you can’t do that, stay single and no kids. Be a couple that proves the divorce figures wrong. My wife and I have been married almost 50 years with 3 kids. I wouldn’t do a thing differently.
>So is marriage really worth it if most of them end in divorce?
Citation needed.
There’s a lot of people out there who shouldn’t have gotten married, at least not to each other. They did it because it’s the next step, or for religious reasons, or whatever, without thinking and talking through the long term. If your biggest concern is keeping your assets and having an easy way out, definitely don’t get married.
If you kept EVERYTHINg seperate and did not care about the legal benefits then marriage is not going to do anything for you. Most people dont keep everything seperate and not being married is not going to keep you from losing your shit in the event of a seperation. If your partner takes all the furniture you will still have to go to court to get it back and you will have to prove its yours. If you break up amicably divorce isnt bad and if you break up badly not being married isnt going to necessarily protect you.