I recently noticed a family member I known for many years growing up together since childhood had gotten divorced and ended up being with another man. This person was married for about a decade and 5 years in total and has 2 sons together.
I personally find it really messed up that all those years of investment and sacrifices that a person put into someone has really gone to waste like it literally meant NOTHING š
I don’t believe in such thing as a Divorce as you already signed the contract for life long commitment to work things out through the good and bad times.
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Um no. My ex broke the ācontractā by abusing me. I did not āsign upā for a life time of abuse. I left and divorced him.
Although I believe in marriage and working on it when times are tough instead of throwing in the towel, I recognise there are instances where divorce is the best option. If your partner is abusive, commits a sex crime, misuses substances, or infidelity. Also if people grow apart over time surely it is better for the children that they have two happy seperate parents rather than two miserable ones together?
Divorces are not exactly matter of belief and what you’re saying is basically sunkācost fallacy. Marriage as for “through thick and thin” and “until death do us apart” sometimes doesn’t work for people. Or stops working for various reasons.
If I ended up divorcing my husband (can’t see it happening but you never know) I don’t think I would consider the years of happiness and the life and family we built together to be a complete waste.
And could be so simple as, stoped loving each other
Well good for you I guess? They happen whether you believe in them or not, and more often than not itās the best thing for everyone involved.
Good marriages donāt end in divorce, friend.
Shit happens and people change. We won’t even talk about abuse, substance abuse, child abuse, cheating, etc. That can all lead to divorce.
Itās not your relationship. Who are you to judge? You have no clue what goes on behind closed doors. Focus on your own life.
Well that is your opinion, yes? Opinions are like farts, everyone has them and a lot of them stink.
You don’t know what was going on behind closed doors, so it’s not up to you to judge what other people do in their lives.
I’ve read every thread in this sub going back over 5 years and some marriages are marred by cruelty, physical, mental or financial abuse, affairs, unbelievable levels of indifference and worse. No one should stay in these situations that will never magically improve. Contracts always have more than one requirement than just the commitment part, so a complete and flagrant failure to adhere to all of the other parts of the agreement leads to its ending.
The vow for ‘good times and bad’ isn’t about forced acceptance of cruelty; it’s about the bumps and bruises that life itself will present.
I know a woman who felt this way who stayed with a man who was raping their child
Being able to divorce is a great thing
I used to feel that way, and I still do when it comes to the whole, “we just grew apart” reasoning for divorce. I’m like, “then grow back together. Get to grafting!”
But the thing that made me less judgmental of it when I don’t have the details was my aunt’s divorce and learning my uncle had cheated on her repeatedly for years. Then my cousin, their daughters, was cheated on. She tried to give him one chance to put things back together but with multiple special needs kids he was just checked out and had no desire to make the effort. He wasn’t initiating divorce but wasn’t present and wasn’t committed to remaining faithful.
She divorced him. He moved away. Family and church helped her with the kids and bills. She also worked but with multiple special needs kids it just wasn’t enough. After several years she met a guy who loved her and accepted her special needs kids as his own.
So, while I still advocate really strong for working through things, falling back in love, growing back together, there are times it’s the best thing for at least one of the adults and even the kids.