Hey. So my boyfriend (22 M) and I (21 M) have been officially together for 7 months now. We ve had playful fun every summer for two summers now and only started getting emotionally attached on last september (2021).
It all started in a healthy manner. I ve never felt safer or more sure about a relationship before. He s nice, caring and overall a good fit for me. Or at least he was.
At one point i started noticing some manipulation/gaslighting going on. At first it was kinda subtle but i noticed it cause i m just kinda good at picking up stuff like that.
I m hard to deal with as a person. The easiest way to describe it is that i m emotionally unstable, i tend to be cold and i m not that affectionate unless i feel super secure. But i am genuinely making a lot of efforts.
Lately though, he’s been super sensitive and super hostile towards me picking fights about anything and everything. We re in different cities at the moment and he threw a « are we supposed to act like friends until we meet again » at me cause i m not verbally affectionate (love lang is touch btw).
This drove me so mad cause during that argument i kept sensing that he s ignoring my thoughts, my feelings and he acted as if he doesn’t know me as a person at all.
I think i m mad cause I know how much self control i m showcasing. Never screamed at him or treated him badly. I communicate when i feel cold not to unintentionally hurt him.
But now i m unhappy and i think it s best if we breakup. But i just know if i do he s gonna turn me into the bad guy and i dont wanna deal with that cause i really care about him but i d never let someone step on me or wtvr. Like the breakup is the solution for me but should i wait and see? Am i being selfish?