Me (32 M) and my girlfriend (30 F) of approx. 8 months have had our ups and downs. Approx. a month ago, she decided she wanted a break for a month with no contact because things were getting too bad. We both agreed to remain exclusive during this time. The break was up recently and she texted me that she needed a little more time and if we could talk next week. Today, I sent her a message asking if we were going to meet in person to discuss things. She says that she wouldnt be comfortable seeing me in person and would rather talk to me over the phone or on zoom. I got a little irritated because I firmly believe we should meet up somewhere face to face. She even hinted that, if we end up breaking on the phone call or zoom meeting, that that would be the end of things. What are your thoughts on this; should I give her what she wants or is meeting face to face better? Thanks in advance!
TLDR: I think its best that me and my “gf” see each other after our break
24 comments
Why the hell are you still giving her the time of day at this point? She’s done with you, take the hints, man.
Yeah I hate to break this to you but I think you’re clinging on to nothing here. She doesn’t want to see you, barely wants to talk to you… She’s done with this relationship, man.
I would argue that your best course would be to end things with her preemptively. It doesn’t sound like she’s keen on continuing the relationship and you’re clearly not happy with the current situation. Honestly I never really understood relationship ‘breaks’, it just seems to me like one party is keen to end things but afraid to say or act upon that, so they distance themselves until their partner’s hand is forced. Hope you’re ok OP.
I’m sorry to tell you this but the relationship is over. I know you don’t believe me but it is.
Here some advice: let the relationship end in peace. Go no contact and work on making yourself better. After a while she will regret her decision.
Bad news: it’s over
Good news: it’s over, and you’re free to find someone who doesn’t treat you like garbage
If only 8 months together has been rocky, sounds like she was slowly breaking up with you. She probably didn’t want to break up right away (whether it be because she wasn’t sure yet or maybe to not hurt your feelings) but her still not wanting to see you is a clear indicator it’s over. If you feel a zoom call would be too much for you, just break it off with her completely already and save yourself that. BUT if you need closure, agree to the call. You can’t force her to be face-to-face if she isn’t comfortable with that. Sorry, but really do wish you the best. Fighting in relationships is normal but they shouldn’t be a regular thing, especially this early into them (I’m 41F in a 12 year relationship for reference)
Sounds more like the situation I was in. Take the hints man (unlike me) and move forward. It will be painful I know but you’ll get better, trust me.
1 how would you force her to meet in person and 2 do the zoom meeting and just end things so you can move on
If your relationship is already this bad and your not even a year in, just leave it at that. Don’t be so desperate for a relationship that you can’t use your common sense anymore.
Shitty, but it’s over. Don’t try to keep it going. Just send her a brief message you understand the relationships reached its end and wish her the best and don’t talk to her again. She’s already treated you poorly don’t let it continue my friend
She low key dumped you when the break was initiated
Doesn’t matter in-person or on Zoom. You’re overthinking it because you care too much.
If you want her back, stop caring about it all right now!
If she smells desperation in you, it’s all over.
This relationship is over, you two just haven’t cut the last strings yet. Face the obvious, end it, and move on. Playing games like this is ridiculous.
If after only 7-8 months together you’re already a) describing your relationship as we “have had our ups and downs” and b)Taking breaks from the relationship, it’s pretty much futile to continue trying to force it to work. Relationships require effort to work, yes but it shouldn’t be *that* hard. Then there are the facts that after this break she doesn’t even want to see you and is already hinting at an upcoming breakup… yeah it’s over and she’s dragging it out, most likely out of cowardice. Don’t just wait for the axe to fall on her time. Be the bigger person and cut the cord yourself.
She already checked out of this relationship long time ago my man.
Imma mirror the comments, move on
Why would you even want to date someone who doesn’t want to meet up with you
I know it’s going to be hard if you have feelings for her, but it’s going to be harder dragging it out over weeks, months or however long
cut ties and move on
She wants to chat on the phone (or Zoom) because she doesn’t feel comfortable or safe breaking up with you in person.
Respect her boundaries.
This relationship is over.
Break up with her and find someone that won’t dump you over a zoom call imo.
At 8 months in, you should NOT be struggling this much. It’s clearly already over for her. Rip the bandaid off.
Been there before, but made mine permanent. Hate to break it to you boss, but cut your losses and send her to the streets. I bet she found or is trying on another fling, dont hope on something that isn’t there or puts you out of contact. Hope it goes well for you.
She’s gone bro. She just doesn’t have the heart to break it to you. She was hoping the break would be enough for you to lose interest
What’s the point of meeting face to face when she obviously just wants to end it ? Stop wasting each other’s time, there’s no fixing it, it’s done.
You should be prepared for the break up, it’s coming and there is nothing you can do about it.
She fucking someone else. Also it would be wise to expect to not get her back at this point.