I’m sure I’m going to get trolled, just on the basis of my age (46) and “you should know better.” Well, if I did, I wouldn’t be posting here. So trolls can STFU. Anyway…Have gone on two dates with a woman I’m really interested in and intrigued by. The thing is, she’s very stoic and kind of “even keel” which is good in most respects, but bad for reading emotions/interest level. I’ve known other women that weren’t super-emotive that I later learned really liked me, but because they never really expressed it, I didn’t know.
At any rate…Several of my female friends have shared the observation that I’m the one initiating communication with her most of the time. Since our first date, I’ve texted her almost daily, and sometimes multiple times a day. She always responds eventually, and as I’ve said, we’ve gone on two dates, and if I asked her on a third, I’m thinking she’d probably say yes.
So I’m going on 48 hours and counting without initiating communications with her. I’m kind of doing it as a test to see if she “misses” me or not. If a full week goes by, and I don’t hear anything from her, then I’m going to assume she’s not interested. I know she has a busy life and a lot of things going on right now (she just recently moved) so I’m trying to give her a little space to sort out her personal stuff.
I think I may initiate conversation in a day or two to meet up, and have a low-level “define this relationship” talk. Nothing serious, but just to determine if there’s any romantic interest on her part. If not, I’m going to move on. I definitely have feelings for her, but I don’t want to put a lot of time, emotion and effort into it, if the feeling isn’t mutual. Any *helpful* observations and tips appreciated.
4 comments
You lost me at “she eventually replies”. There are 3 billion women on this planet mate. You can do better. Stop giving out attention in hope of getting it. All the best for you future endeavours
I don’t like the “ I’m testing “ thing
That’s never worked out to be a part of a fulfilling relationship for me
Consider checking what kind of attachment style you are/ they are and figure if you are compatible
Two avoidants are not meant to be together
If you were younger I would say she is stringing you along but based on your age, I think she really is just busy. I’m a decade younger than you with 3 kids and I’m super busy. I have been seeing someone and at times not texted him for a couple days when work/life is just super hectic. He always reaches out if he doesn’t hear from me. I realized at some point that it was always him initiating a conversation and I’ve tried to be better about it. I really, really like him and absolutely want a relationship with him but i have a life outside of him and sometimes that gets in the way. Sometimes you have to be the one taking initiative in the beginning if you want keep the relationship going. I think you should try asking for a 3rd date and on that date ask her about her feelings to see if there is a romantic interest. Its the only way to know for sure.
Are your texts things that lend themselves to a back and forth conversation or is it more—asked and answered?