I know this is a common greeting and that an in-depth answer is not expected or inquired for. But, should I respond with “how’s it going?” or should I rather say something along the lines with “I’m good thanks, how’s it going?”?

34 comments

  1. The latter. “Good, you?” If it’s a friend you can be a bit more honest and say your work sucks or something.

  2. Either is fine.

    Other response examples:

    “Hey! What’s up?”

    “I’m good thanks, you?”

  3. You don’t even have to answer the question at all. Usually I just say “yo what’s up?” which is also a “question” that doesn’t need answering.

    Unless you’re in a situation where like a co-worker asks it in earnest but that should be obvious.

  6. If you’re out here in the “heartland,” you should give a real and honest answer, but it should fit within the amount of time available without disrupting whatever the primary activity occurring is.

    So if you’re buying a candy bar at a gas station with 5 people behind you and the cashier asks, stick with “good thanks” or “can’t complain” or “well, I’m here” or “just tryin’a keep on keeping on” etc, if you’re waiting at the back of the line and someone else also waiting asks, you can go into as much or little detail as you feel comfortable giving and they seem comfortable receiving. If you want to keep it short, stick to the first set but if you clearly have more time and feel awkward with just that, simply add “you?” to the end and put the ball in their court.

  9. The response is “It’s going ____” or “I’m ____” and you insert your feeling.

    Now there is a subtle but important cultural point with Americans which is that we always speak 1 or 2 levels higher than how we actually feel. So if I enjoyed a movie and you asked “Did you like the movie?” It’s common to not say “It was good” or “I liked it” and more common to say “It was great. It was fantastic. It was the best movie I’ve ever seen in my life.” We aren’t lying just culturally to make sure you understand it’s positive we use hyperbole.

    Now when someone says they or a situation is “fine” that’s like neutral. On a scale of 1-10 that’s 0 not positive or negative. BUT because we speak 1 – 2 levels stronger than how we feel when someone says “I’m fine” in American, they aren’t fine. They feel like a -1 or -2 but they don’t want to burden you with their negativity, or troubles, or sadness. So if you feel “fine” make sure you say “good” at least in America. “It’s going good” or “I’m good” is an appropriate response if you are feeling positive or neutral.

  11. If you have time, try to give a little bit of information about how you’re actually doing to signal you’d be willing to talk about how they’re doing. Don’t go around oversharing, but an unobtrusive little bit of honesty won’t be noticed by the people who don’t care, and could mean a lot to a stranger who needs a friend for a bit.

  13. This has driven me nuts since I was a kid…

    I tell people what’s actually going as a conversation starter instead of the classic – good, you?

  16. Sup.

    Works in very informal situations. Like a bar.

    “Not bad. You?” Works in other cases.

  17. If I’m good, I answer, “I’m good, how about you?” If I’m not good, I answer, “Hanging in there, how about you?” and then they usually say some variation of, “Good thanks.”

    Another note: If I’m walking somewhere and I encounter an acquaintance who starts this routine, the whole exchange is conducted without either of us breaking stride. They’re usually behind me by the time we’re done talking.

  19. “Good. How about you?” or something similar.

    With friends, we often give more of a joking response. “Same shit, different day. How about you?” is one of my go to responses with close friends.

  21. 3 levels of response, depending on how engaged/open you want to be with the other person

    Neutral: ‘sup?’, ‘its going’, ‘same-o same-o’ etc. Adding at the end, ‘how bout you?’

    Positive: ‘great, fantastic, couldn’t be better, like a fat man rolling downhill, etc., adding at the end, ‘you?’

    Negative: lots of examples from other responses.

    The point is they’re concise, honest, closed end communications that lets you choose your response to fit the context of the situation. It allows the other person to decide whether to pursue conversation without obligating them to either listen or respond in depth. It’s a greeting, a salutation, acknowledging their welfare without obligation.

  24. Reply and meaning:

    “Good n’ you?” – This is just a greeting neither of us want to go into details on each other’s wellbeing.

    “Pretty good” – Things are pretty good.

    “It’s going” – I really shouldn’t complain because things aren’t bad but I’m not fulfilled in life.

    “Living the dream” – My life is hell.

    “(actually goes into personal details)” – I’m unable to read the situation.

    “Good, and (brings up question about your personal past they know about)? – I want to seem interested in catching up w/ you. The more detailed the personal past is the more you’re actually interested.

    “It’s getting better” – My life has improved, or I’m more opportunistic, and have enough sense not to go into details.

    “Now that you’re here things are going pretty good” – You have something in your pants that I want.

  26. I sometimes reply with, “another day in paradise”, which usually should have /s behind it.

  28. “Nabad, how’re you?”

    Unless they’re a close friend, then they get some actual details.

  31. If you are my 80 year old aunt? The proper answer is, “ Goin’ as good as a widow’s wish.”

  33. If it’s a stranger it may be an opener for small talk. There are no hard and fast rule but longer responses with return questions are generally an indication of being open to conversation.

  34. “Nothin’ much, you?”

    “Doin’ pretty good, you?”

    “It’s goin’ pretty well, you?”

Leave a Reply
You May Also Like