If someone broke your trust (assuming by lying), what’s something that can get you to trust them again?

18 comments

1. There’s no one size fits all fix. It depends on the specific situation, who the person is, and what they did to break my trust. It’s also entirely possible that nothing can be done to rebuild trust.

2. Nothing. They had their shot and blew it. I’ve seen their true colors, and there is no coming back from that. Nothing will convince me they aren’t full of shit.

3. It depends on the lie. There are a few from which there would be no coming back.

4. Depends. There is no one thing that can be done to earn trust back. It’s a process. It takes time. Sometimes it happens and sometimes it doesn’t

5. Need to know the lie and details.
   Otherwise maybe nothing.

6. Generally speaking take responsibility, sincerely apologize, make amends, and know that after they did all that not to expect me to forgive them because that wasn’t for forgiveness but to try and fix what they broke. Then they need to give me space to work through my feelings and decide if I can forgive them

7. Depends on the how big the lie was, but if it was over something major, that’s a bell that can’t be unrung. If you lie about infidelity or something like that, there’s no possible way to earn my trust again.

8. Recently happened in biological family. They would need to apologize without guilt tripping. A real apology. Then it would help if they respected my boundaries.

9. That’s not how that works at all.

10. I’ve never had to end a friendship over lying. The most “egregious” was my friends lying about getting back with an toxic ex, but eventually I just say don’t call me when you catch him cheating again 🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️ I did however, end a friendship over stealing. At this time, I kept my gas money in the drawer underneath my stereo in my car. This particular friend took ALL of my gas money when she waited into my car, so I could drive her home. I was on a fixed budget at this time, it really put me in a bind.

11. Depends on the context. If it’s recoverable, then generally:

    1. Admit and accept fault
    2. Apologize sincerely
    3. Feel remorse
    4. Display a long pattern of reformed behavior, honesty, and trustworthiness over time
    5. Don’t fuck it up

12. You get only one strike. I’ll never trust you afterwards

13. It has to be exactly this combination of things: a genuine apology, making up for what they did to me, and then proving themself to be trustworthy for months to years afterwards.

14. to be honest, I don’t know. like what many are saying, there is truly no one size fits all. I’m even struggling myself, trying to trust my bf again after he lied about not doing coke behind my back, and I’m still trying to figure out what to do. One thing for sure though, it takes a lot of time and and effort coming from your side as well to trust in them again.

15. I’ll NEVER fully trust them ever again, I’ll remain their friend but I won’t ever put any faith into them or count on them for anything

    They kind of get put on the friend backburner lol

16. Nahh I’m done. We are all adults here.

17. Don’t lie again.

18. Time.