Idk how to deal with such a thing. People around me think I don’t take them seriously or I’m really cocky. But it’s not like that. I literally cannot find anything to add to the entire conversation. And often when they call my name I am already zoned out so that even confirms I’m not even bothering to listen in the first place.
Any advice?
9 comments
Reduce your artificial supply of dopamine (porn, video games, social media, junk food, etc) and socialize more. You’ll get better with time
Ask what was the last thing they said and build from that 👍 sometimes you can away with it
Do you zone out because of thoughts which distract you? Try to let go of your thoughts and concentrate on what the other person is saying. Everytime you accomplish to direct your concentration back to the conversation you will get better in the future. (You could look for books or tutorials about active listening in the internet)
You don’t have to add witty anecdotes. Listen carefully, make appropriate eye contact and expressions, go “uh huh” “cool” “oh yeah?” and laugh at relevant times.
What kind of social setting is this? If it feels like the situation has already simmered you could politely excuse yourself and say that you have somewhere else to go/someone else you need to talk to. I grew up with autism and sometimes still struggle with initiating conversation, but I can usually follow one and at least show I’m paying attention
Read books and informative articles
Why do you think you zone out? Do you have a dx for ADHD or autism? Are you tired from not sleeping well? Feeling depressed? Maybe you struggle to find conversations interesting unless they pertain to something you’re passionate about.
This conversation is overwhelming me.
Maybe focus more on what you can get out of the conversation rather than what you can add to it? Not everything needs our input, absolutely nothing wrong with taking a more listener/questioner/passive interest in a convo. But just zoning out because you happen not to have anything to add personally? Yeah, thats probs gonna land a lil rude on most ppl js.