I’ve been least expecting it and it’s still not turned up. Turning 27 in a few days, maybe time to face the music that I’ll be forever alone 😂

24 comments

1. I don’t know what advice i should give you. I am in a similar boat. But i found you humorous. Let’s see what work out for us.

2. You’ll be alright. It’s weird how we’ve come to believe being in our mid to late 20s makes us old. Keep an open mind and you’ll meet someone eventually… or not lol

3. I’ve always believed that rather than ‘least expecting’ a relationship, the better approach was to be open and upfront with the fact that you want that in your life, without pressuring it by having it as a ‘need’.

   Admittedly it’s a fine, fine balance and simply put, a theory that is yet to work for me. But I at least feel a little more at ease in my search and within myself along the way. 😅

4. I’m 28 in a few months and in the same boat. Just never could go to college as I’m learning impaired, just barely scraped by Science and Math in high school(nobody even tried to help me 🙁 )

   Had a brief online fling ten years ago but she ditched me after we shared pics. I was always shy and anxious, often act out due to my aspergers. So I’m a virgin and probably gonna die one haha

5. I’m 29f and currently single, I was with my ex for 5 years but removing her from my life was the best decision, just because you haven’t met someone yet doesn’t mean you won’t, we both, and many others our age I guess still have our lives ahead of us and plenty of time to find the right person,keep your head up

6. I’m a 27 male and never been in a relationship so I understand where you are coming from. Its not easy

7. You’ve only been looking for a year.

8. I (31F) have dated but never had sex, never been in love and never had a relationship- not for lack of trying, it just hasn’t happened for me. I had a similar experience of low self esteem as a teenager plus went to an all girls school, then really got going dating in my early-mid 20s but then circumstances changed and it meant I wasn’t getting to meet new people and didn’t like OLD. Then Covid hit, and now I’m here at 31 😄 No advice, sorry, but just wanted to say that you’re not alone!

9. 32M and also in the same boat. I’ve had flings, lots of dates, and am also not a virgin but still no official relationship or GF.

   The thing with me is, getting dates and occasional hookups is the easy part. But I feel like the only time anyone wants a relationship with me, it’s like they either rush into it and get too serious real fast by saying “I love you” early on, inviting me to weddings after 1-2 dates, or they misrepresented themselves. I don’t think I have super high standards but I also don’t wanna settle for someone just to say I’m in a relationship.

   That said, while I don’t advertise my situation to people, I feel like some people occasionally give me shit for it which is why I don’t like talking about my dating life to some people. And recently, I was seeing a girl for 2 dates and she was cool but unfortunately I wasn’t really attracted to her but when it came to discussion about relationship experience. I told her my longest relationship was 6-7 months, which was really a fling with no title. And then she stopped reaching out afterwards. In a way I wasn’t too bummed because I wasn’t feeling it with her anyways, but what it did make me worry about was “am I fucked”. Like this doesn’t keep me from trying and putting myself out there, but is that gonna be a red flag and deal breaker for most because of my past experience?

   During covid, I went to therapy and talked about it with my therapist about how it would bother me from time to time, and she’s like well it’s not like you’re telling someone you’re a serial killer or sex offender, but even then I feel like some people will make a big deal about it.

10. You don’t sound red flaggish to me 🙂 More people are in similar situation that you may imagine. Like me, 24M. And a whole bunch of other people who are responding here 😀

11. Someone like you is the ideal girl I’m looking for. I’m 30 and truly feel like it’s over. But someone inexperienced like myself is what I desire, even though years and years pass and it never happens. Just gotta…. Have a better attitude? Lol

12. This is exactly like me haha. You’re definitely not a red flag! I feel like this term is just being thrown around these days and people just use it as an excuse for just about anything. Looking pack on past people you had relations with, would you have liked a relationship with them? If not, then I think you should be happy with where you are in life instead of looking back on what could have been relationships just for the sake of being in one. I have loads of friends who have never been in relationships and I would never look at them and think they were a red flag! I think it’s much better to wait for the right person and as you said yourself, life has thrown a few curveballs for many people which makes dating so hard. Keep doing what you’re doing and when the right guy comes along, he will probably be delighted his girlfriend doesn’t have any exes lol

13. As much as views in public viewing could be titillating sometimes, so that there’s a variety of opinions, I prefer getting to know someone a bit before just spitting my thoughts that might impact their Lives (No offence to anybody else, Just my approach).

14. I’m Nirup, 29, Mumbai India, Self-employed. Felt like sharing this song with you for some reason… https://open.spotify.com/track/6Qyc6fS4DsZjB2mRW9DsQs?si=PCxpUVKNRuWt2iJlIxdUVw&utm_source=copy-link

15. I’m also turning 27 in a few days and feeling very much the same. You wanna commiserate, friend? 😩

16. I’m 25F about to be 26 in 3 months and I’ve only officially had 1 short term (5 months) boyfriend in my life, with some flings too. I was also a late bloomer in romance too and I tend to pick emotionally unavailable people myself. I think society puts unfair expectations on us (women esp) that we need to have experienced a long term partner by a certain age but….that’s an unfair expectation to hold anyone to. I had times where I felt like I won’t find anyone (still feel it sometimes), but I counter it by interrogating why I feel such a rush to find one. I also take time to express gratitude for what I DO have (best friends, great life experiences, loving family) instead of focusing on what I DON’T. Also, statistically, one of these days I’ll find a guy who likes me, as there are plenty of men out there and in my city.

    All that being said, I understand your fears and I’m sorry you feel this way. It is tough to feel like you can’t find anyone. Honestly what has really helped me has been therapy, and I’d recommend it to you as well to work thru these feelings. I talked a lot about my fear of not finding a partner and my fixation on it, low and behold I had some abandonment issues that directly relate to me picking avoidant/unavailable partners to date.

    All in all, keep going, take breaks when needed, and enjoy life as it unfolds. Best of luck!

17. dude my last relationship was senior year of UNDERGRAD when I was 19 and lasted two months. ur not alone.

18. I feel what you’re going through. I wasn’t consider attractive growing up until I moved out of state and I’ve only had one serious bf and even he treated me like crap. I’ve had my casual flings than serious relationships. I’ve tried a serious relationship with guys but nobody wants one with me. I started to think I’m the problem. I have low self esteem in general and I’m not confident at all. I’ve recently lost weight which is helping but no guy I’ve dated wants anything serious with me. I honestly think I’m going to die alone for the most part. But I’m also independent in nature. Most guys are attracted to me are clingy as fuck. And I can be picky about it. When I mean clingy. Like emotionally something wrong or they don’t know what they want. It can be very frustrating. I feel like I almost have to settle for less than my worth to find the right guy because that’s the only way I’ll find him. But I don’t want to either because I know what will happen to me. I also don’t think I’m that great looking. I think average looking

19. You’ve never had a relationship but have had flings. This is the red flag.

    Not being in a relationship till late 20’s is not a red flag. Maybe you were education and career focused early on, are picky with who you date and have high standards, or had a series of circumstances where you weren’t independent enough to maintain a healthy relationship. Only hooking up till late 20’s is a red flag. Based on your post the last two aren’t true and the first stopped being true after you graduated.

    People will think: Why didn’t those flings turn into something more? Why didn’t they stay? Did you do something that would deter a relationship? Could you even keep one if it came around?

    My advice is to keep putting yourself out there and DO NOT share this information till later in the dating process. Don’t lie but do not give it up freely.

    I wouldn’t care, you shouldn’t care, but most people do.

20. PM me what’s your snap ?

21. >Low and behold I’m 27 in a few days, edging on 30

    I’m sorry but that made me laugh! So, so much can happen in a span of just a couple years – and even if it doesn’t, it’s nowhere near the end of the world you seem to believe it will be. Turning 30 doesn’t take you off the market.

    One of my very best friends just got married last year at 32. Another of my good friends is 35 and newly single. Another of my friends is 46, and she only met her partner 4 years ago at 42.

    Hell, if anything your options will probably *increase* once you’re a woman in your 30’s who isn’t a divorcee with kids. That gets increasingly rare.

    If you’ve got time outside your job perhaps try looking into local workshops or classes in subjects you’re interested in. They’re a really good way to meet other people who share similar interests, and over the course of the afternoon/weeks you get the opportunity to chat and potentially make new friends (or more). It might give some opportunities to meet male friends or partners.

    My guess as to why you wind up with emotionally unavailable people would be that if you had low confidence and were teased in the past, perhaps you’ve internalized that treatment a bit so (subconsciously or not) you wind up with people who keep that dynamic going. Kind of like even though you don’t like it, it’s more comfortable since it’s familiar. Of course I could be totally off the mark there, but I did find that was part of my response to teasing.

    Honestly though, you’ve got so much time still. I’m in my upper 30’s, and how much my life has changed from mid-30s to now is ridiculous. 30 feels totally different in your 20’s than it does once you reach it.

22. I’ll be soon 29 and now single. A bit worried, though. But I still believe that when the time is ripe, it will surely come.

23. I’m even older same here

24. Hey bb, just wanna drop a line to say it fucking sucks that the flat chested thing probably killed your confidence growing up and subconsciously you think that’s hyper undesirable (in high school boys think they want big boobs so the smaller titted / flatter chested women end up feeling invisible at that age and that sticks with them).

    However, holy FUCK I love small tits and flat chests now, like way more so than big boobs. There’s something about them that helps accentuate a woman’s lower half, and in my personal experience I find them to be a bit more sensitive.

    Trust me when I say, so many guys I’m friends with agree that tit size is literally the last thing we care about and a woman being completely flat doesn’t cross our minds.

    Don’t look at your age as some sort of silly biological clock. Being single at 27 doesn’t mean you will be single forever and there are many people who find someone compatible and fantastic especially because you have extremely realistic standards (not looking for some hyper good looking succesful dude like everyone else, who frankly have a TON of options and either don’t settle for anyone or pick what they consider the ‘best of the best’).

    So your past might make you a bit ill confident, which you might be manifesting by thinking you’re not attractive 🙁