Hi, I’m a 5’8 female (age 18) and am really insecure about my height. I feel that wherever I go I never fit in. I also feel unlovable. Attracting guys hasn’t ever really been a problem for me, I usually get approached by men who are 6’2+ but that is usually when I am out doing something like clubbing. But that usually doesn’t last. I wouldn’t mind dating a guy the same height as me or a couple of inches shorter either. I just feel as though I don’t fit into societies expectations. I have a lot of insecurities about my body and feel that I have broad shoulders and store weight on my arms which makes me feel unflattering. I have nice hips and a small rib cage but my shoulders and arms kind of ruin it. I am slim and have been every weight but no matter what weight I am I never feel good enough. I’m confident when I go to bars and clubs but I am not very confident in person, mostly because I am so self conscious. I know 5’8 isn’t the tallest but sometimes I go out and feel like a giant. Especially because of the obsession with short and petite girls in the media. I haven’t had a boyfriend in years and am wondering if this is the reason. Is my height and body preventing me from having a relationship?
Edit: Thank you for your replies everyone I appreciate it! I think I need to work on my confidence a lot. I haven’t been going out much lately and have been isolating myself from the world because of my insecurities. Thank you for the time you have all taken to respond to me, I didn’t expect so many replies. I will try to have a more positive outlook on my height from now on. Thank you for the help 🙂
30 comments
I’m 5’9. I probably felt that way at your age. Much farther down the line, I love it! We are the top end of the height range for “regular” clothing. That usually means pants are perfect for us without tailoring, and we don’t have to shop at specialty “tall” women’s stores. I also never have to ask anyone to reach something on a high self for me.
I am absolutely certain there has never been a situation in my life where my height was unattractive to anyone. Being taller is awesome!
I’m 6’0 female.
Honestly, find someone who doesn’t give a shit and embrace being able to reach things others can’t. If you need a boost of confidence, look at Zendaya and Tom Holland side by side lol
your height is perfect and you don’t need to feel blue.. you are okay!
5’9 here. It’s model height! I find men notice me more because I’m tall. Walk in like you own the room, because you do 😊💜
I’m 5’11 and how I see it is when I see a tall woman in public who is carrying herself so well, I think wow she is so striking and confident! Then I think to myself, why don’t I feel the same about me? I like to think some people think the same when they see me walking in public so now I just own it! You’re only 18 so that can be a difficult age to feel confident in yourself regardless, but it will come to you in time and you will look back one day wondering why you sweated the small stuff!
Why? Lol.You are average human height, nothing wrong with that
You’re 18, it’s really really really normal to not have had a boyfriend in years… or ever
Plenty of guys love tall women and you’re not *that* tall. I’m 5’10 and my ex was 5’11 and I didn’t care at all, she was gorgeous and had legs for days
Tall women are drop dead gorgeous! Trust me, men will snap their necks!
No need to worry about it!
Model
Bruh, there are sooo many men who find that to be a huge turn-on (myself included). I’m on the shorter side for a guy (5’7), but I don’t allow that to make me feel any less sexy. There is no reason you shouldn’t do the same.
I had a huge growth spurt the summer between 8th and 9th grade and hit 5’10” practically overnight (my brother got married that summer; I was in the wedding party, and let’s just say the dress fitting was very challenging!).
And I hated it. My best friend came back to school with long blonde hair and a 34D chest, and I came back…as a bean pole.
One day, while at the mall with my mom, we were approached by a modeling agent. Suddenly, being tall wasn’t so bad! Through that experience, I learned to love, embrace, and hell, even flaunt my height.
Have there been days when I wished that I was shorter? Of course. But there have also been days where my shorter friends wish that they had my height. And more days than not, I’m perfectly happy right as I am.
Being taller definitely has its benefits; when my weight fluctuates, it’s not noticeable to anybody but me. And I’ll never be one of those “little old ladies”; I’ll always be taller than average! My mother, who was almost my height, has lost some height over the years, but she’s still around 5’8″ in her 80’s.
I’m a guy, same height but insecure because I think I’m too short lol, I wouldn’t mind dating taller women but that doesn’t make it any easier.
I honestly wish people stop caring about height but I guess that’s not possible.
Men who are fixated about height are insecure. You’re better off finding someone who doesn’t care. Plus, tall girls look so elegant!
To most guys, your height won’t matter. So what if you’re a few inches taller than others, just means we don’t have to bend as far down to embrace you lol
I’m a 5’7″ guy and I’m cursed to be a leg man. I haven’t had a long term relationship with a woman taller than me, but I’ve had short (no pun intended) term dating. I regularily ‘like’ women on dating apps +3″ on me.
I think it’s likely self limiting for the height in a relationship to be skewed towards the woman being taller due to both sexes being insecure initiating something where that’s the case.
I would say, however, that predatory fuck boys are likely going to pick up on your insecurities and exploit that. That might be why your taller fellows haven’t stuck around long. Aside from them maybe just generally not being great guys, or other less negative circumstances.
Lol I’ve dated several 6ft women, it’s hot, not sure what the media obsession of short women is because I’ve never seen it
Tall girls are very attractive and I’m a short dude. Keep your head up and don’t fall prey to social media/societal beauty standards.
5’8 is a great height for a woman. You’re only 18. That might play into it right now. In a couple of years when you are looking a bit older, like mid 20’s. Guys between 5’6 & up won’t be concerned about your height. I’m 5’9 & have been with more women my height & taller than those shorter. Just happened that why🤷🏻♂️
5’8-10 is my (6’1) preferred height. I think you’ll find plenty of men will appreciate your height. Learn to love it!
My first reaction was – have you not heard of rule 34 – but if you’re 18, then maybe not… Anyways the point is, This is likely Not an instance where you should feel unlovable… Maybe people aren’t approaching as much b/c of the height, but I doubt the height is affecting the attraction levels from the general public; just the confidence to approach… As a 5’7 male, approaching any girl already requires for me to summon up some courage… since 5’7 is seen as short and/unattractive, I’m less likely to go after taller ladies thereby; but that doesn’t mean I’m less attracted… I hope some of that helps; good luck and be safe out there.
At 5’8″ you have no reason to be insecure about your height. I’m 38f and I’ve been 5’8” since I was 13 years old. Yes, 5’8″ is on the tall side of average for American women. ALL BODIES ARE DIFFERENT. Your height and body are not preventing you from anything. You need to work on your mind and your mental state.
I’m a 5’10” woman and I’ve grown to love it. When I see another tall woman walking down the street in confidence I always turn in awe! There’s something so admirable about a tall, confident person.
Hold your head high! Wear your tallest heels! If you exude confidence, you will attract other confident people into your life. If a man is intimidated by my height, I wouldn’t want to be with him anyway. 🙂
Sorry to hear that you feel so isolated, romantically and just in general within our society.
It’s possible that your height and body may be making it harder for you to find someone, what’s most likely is that it’s just making your potential dating pool smaller than it is for shorter women. I think a lot of men like to focus too much on how women like tall men while ignoring how many women don’t like taller women, that can’t be easy to accept.
That being said, as people mature their interests, standards, and what they’re attracted to changes or becomes more clear. It might be difficult for you now but it’s good to remind yourself that you’re still young and you have a lot of time and experiences ahead of you.
The best thing you can do for yourself is put yourself in the right space and mindset to make the most of those experiences, and do your best to avoid the bad ones.
Best of luck <3 You’ll find love, I’m sure of it.
I’m a 5’8 female and I hated it too when I was 18, I’m 27 now it I can honestly say it does not bother me one bit and I wouldn’t change it. You will get there, there’s worse things than being tall I promise, in fact 5’8 is a beautiful height.
Girl own it! You know who else it tall? Supermodels. Men love tall women. Long legs, you instantly draw everyone’s attention, and we wear clothes better. You need to have that confidence! I bet many short women around you would give a lot to be tall like you!
Edit to add I say this as a woman a good bit taller than you who has never once been turned down for my height and instead have often been pursued BECAUSE I’m tall. Is there anything sexier than a long legged beauty who loves herself and walks into a room with confidence? Its hard to beat!
I relate to a lot of what you’re saying. I’m 5’7, to tall to be small, too small to looks like a towering goddess.
My advice: when you feel you don’t meet societal expectations? Lean into it unapologetically. let it be the thing that gets you noticed, let it be the thing that makes people remember you.
You’ll likely find that your insecurity exists nowhere but in your own head. That other people aren’t, and never were thinking what you assumed they were about you.
You said you’re at a club or a bar. So ask yourself what’s different there? What is giving you that confidence? See if you can transfer that to other scenarios and situations.
I’m 6’1/2” and I don’t feel odd or that I don’t fit in or anything, so I don’t think the real issue is your height.
I think if you could accept your beautiful self and know that you were born to be that height and you are not a mistake (you’re honestly a perfect height, as am I!)… that there is NOTHING wrong with you, then you will be more at ease.
5’8 isn’t even that tall. You should try to just accept that you have a great height and people will like it. And if a dude has a problem with it, it just means they themselves are too insecure. Be happy with yourself first and foremost.
Coincidentally all my female friends who are 5’8-5’10 are married. Me and my friends who are 5’2-5’4 are all single haha
Tall women are hot AF. Love yourself!