Feel like I (26M) am in a situationship – how to proceed??

Sorry in advance on how long this is. TL;DR: starting dating a girl who claims we are only friends despite sleeping together, going on dates, and making future plans together. Leaving me confused.

I (26M) have been dating this girl (27F) for the last month or so. We met 3 months ago through a co-ed rec sports league where we were teammates for 2 months. Toward the end of our season, her and I started spending more time one-on-one after sharing to each other similar future aspirations, goals, etc.

I went into it with no intentions of dating – just friends getting to know each other and possibly traveling together. However after several times hanging one-on-one, I started to realize I was catching feelings. Our chemistry was amazing and effortless. We both agreed how comfortable we felt with one another so quickly. She’s bi and has never seriously dated a man before, only a few hookups.

Our second time hanging out led to flirting, making out, and me staying the night with her. We cuddled, had plenty of pillow talk, and both slept shirtless. We woke up the next morning for work where we had some coffee and she asked for a kiss and we went separate ways. Later that morning she texted me confirming we are just friends who kiss here and there. I indicated I was just going with the flow and see where this leads. Left me a bit confused though.

Days later I took her to a mutual friend cookout, where people were asking me what we were – the chemistry and flirting was apparent to others. We spoke briefly on it that night on our way back to her place, where I stayed the night again and we cuddled a bit and kissed. She tells me about she’s told her family, friends, even counsellor about me. She tells me she would love to take me as a plus one to a wedding several weeks away if she had one, maybe take a weekend trip somewhere, stay with me some weekend at my parents’ house. She even asks me to leave behind one of my clean boxers with my cologne. The next morning we went for breakfast and coffee together – standing in line I put my arm around her and then we sat and chatted and flirted before she had to leave for work. Yet again, we hugged and kissed before she left.

The next morning she said she wanted to revisit our chat from after the cookout – she felt lines were a bit blurred since I put my arm around her but she thought we agreed we were just friends. She thought maybe no PDA would help clear that up. Still left me a bit confused though, as her actions were always flirtatious, kissing, etc and not “friendly” whatsoever. We met the next morning for coffee to briefly discuss, however she seemed just as confused as me and we left the conversation with no further clarity. She said who knows, maybe someday we will get married, be best friends, or simply travel buddies. She said being my girlfriend would be fun and easy. And that maybe eventually our roles will reverse and she’s the one wanting a relationship with me and I don’t. No kiss upon departure, as I figured she wanted. She didn’t really seem to know what she wants, just that she enjoys the “freedom” being single provides.

I left the next day for a week and a half for a family vacation – she texted me a few times while I was away checking in, however I kept responses somewhat short since I was busy and also wanted to create some space for myself to clear my head and for her to figure out what she wanted. I returned last Friday and messaged her to say hi and let her know I was back. She asked me to hang out the following night at her place. We sent some flirty texts and left it at that.

The next night, I arrive to her place and she gives me a big hug and says how much she missed me. We sit and chat over a bottle of wine for a bit, where we are flirty and having fun, the energy and vibe was better than ever – we then take it to her bed where I start giving her a massage (she had given me one before as she is a masseuse), so I was returning the favor. After about 45 minutes of me massaging her (naked), we end up laying together and making out. This leads to some foreplay and eventually sex. We end the night with some great pillow talk. Sunday morning we get up, have morning sex, and head to breakfast down the street before she has to get to work. We go back to her place first, where she dreads having to go and stays hugging me for close to 15 minutes – wishing we could spend the entire day together. We end up leaving with a long hug and kiss. I thought my time away made her realize she wanted to be more with friends (not necessarily a couple yet – but dating rather than “just friends who kiss”).

We text briefly Sunday night, nothing on Monday, and then Tuesday morning and ask if she wants to disc golf and grab dinner Wednesday. She agrees, though says she’ll be in her hometown that day and asked if I would be willing to drive the 1 hour+ drive to meet her there and play. We grab a few drinks, then play where we are holding hands, making out, and flirting and having fun the entire way. We go to her uncle’s house for a quick dip in his pool, where I meet him, her aunt, and cousin. We then drive separately back to her place, an hour away, to then drive together into the city for dinner. Before we leave her place, we get changed together and end up on her bed making out for a bit – she comments she would stay for sex but wants to eat and get to the restaurant before it’s too late. We arrive in the city, walk the 10 minutes to the restaurant holding hands, arms around each other, etc. (remember, this is the girl who said she didn’t want PDA a few weeks ago) looking like a couple. We get to the restaurant, eat, and meet another couple where ended up walking all together to a local dessert place. While there, the girl from the other couple asks my date how long we’ve been together – she comes to me and says “can you believe it, they thought we were in a relationship”. I think to myself, of course they did. We’ve been holding hands, kissing, and flirting.

We walk back to my car, still holding hands, etc. and drive back where she brings up her exes and what she didn’t like – controlling, always wanting to know where she was or who she was with, texting her nonstop, etc. Which is why she wants to be single – so she can be “free” and not feel obligated to report where she is, always be texting, etc. Which to me is more on her exes, rather than relationships. We talk a bit in bed before falling asleep cuddling. This morning before leaving, she mentions how she’s scared I am going to start liking her as more than a friend – only 5 minutes before we need to leave. Not enough time in my opinion to actually open up on that type of conversation. I also have made it pretty obvious – both in my words and actions – that I like her and have caught feelings. We left with a kiss and hug, however I know she is insanely busy through the weekend so the soonest I’d likely see her is Monday. But nothing guaranteed.

My plan is to just give her space for now and see if she reaches out about getting together. Otherwise I’ll reach out maybe Sunday or Monday as I feel I need to talk with her and further clarify everything sooner than later. My feelings, my confusion, etc. I have expressed to her I am in no rush to be in a relationship – just going with the flow. However I don’t understand her push to be “just friends” yet continue to act like a couple (kissing, sex, holding hands, dates, introducing me to family, discuss future plans and travels together).

My thoughts are she may be acting on how she feels – attracted to me, our chemistry, and catching feelings. However I think she may be putting the brakes on it out of fear of a “relationship”. Does anyone have any thoughts or similar experiences? Feel free to ask for more context to clarify anything – there are certainly some details I could have included as well pointing toward her further interest in me, dating me, etc. Thank you!!