I’m just not into stuffs that most people do : traveling, sightseeing, music, art, dancing, sports, food, nature, drinking, partying, fashion,… and not for the lack of trying. The few stuffs I do like: programming, math, and chess, there are just very few women in it. I have gone to a few meet-up on those topics and they are just sausage fest.
If not for the need for intimacy, I would probably prefer staying at home, working all day, being by myself. I just enjoy working from home rather than going out and “have fun”.
Of course if I ever want to find a girl it can’t continue like this. Should I just bite the bullet and sign up for some dance classes, because girls are mostly likely there, instead of just doing my hobbies and have a sausage fest? Reddit, do you have any advice for me?
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I wouldn’t suggest doing something like dance classes just to meet girls. If you sign up for dance classes (or whatever else), do it because you want to try learning to dance. Girls will immediately realise that you’re just there looking for girls which ruins your chances anyway.
What about dating apps? You can list your hobbies and others will get to see your hobbies and swipe. You might find someone that is just like you with very similar interests or you might find someone that is the complete opposite and end up working out. Personally, I’m not a foodie, I don’t like sports or drinking or partying or fashion or a lot of things that involve going out so it was hard for me to actually meet someone in person. I was on a dating app and found someone that I’ve been with for almost a year and a half. We have completely different interests and hobbies, but it ends up being new experiences and things to try for the other person.
You don’t need to have the same hobbies as someone else but you need to care about what they enjoy or be engaged when they talk about it. You could try doing new hobbies that may let you meet new people or going to social meets, board.game cafes maybe something for you?
Are you looking with same interest as yours? Idk I think I’m kind of the same like you, a “boring person” but I’ve been thinking lately that maybe I’d like someone who shares same interest like me but not all of them because that would be boring haha… if that makes senses… like rather be with someone who you can talk and discover new things
Your question should be- How to date if I’m just not attractive to women ?
You can be boring and only be into math, chess and science and still be attractive to women.
Women are attracted to social status, assertiveness, being very clear on who you are and what you want, initiative and of course also physical traits like symmetry and height.
I’m willing to open up and try more hobbies. That’s what is important, along with supporting their hobbies and interests.
Like I’ve never been much of a travel person but if I met the right person, I’d travel across the country with them. Like my sister does with her boyfriend, I miss traveling but doing so by yourself just doesn’t do it for me
This will be long, but you aren’t boring and please don’t think of yourself as such. I have hobbies/interests that very few young women have as well (antique postcards & taxidermy). And just like you mentioned with your meetups, if I went to a convention for my passions, it would be a sausage fest and/or a population that’s 30+ years older than me. On top of that, I’m a very feminine woman that’s into other very feminine women, so my dating pool is very small to begin with. But yet I found a girlfriend that fully supports my hobbies even though she doesn’t share any of them with me.
If you want to expand your interests for you, that’s fine. But don’t do it solely to gain a hobby that you suspect women will like. The right woman will like you for you and maybe with time, you’ll find a mutual hobby that you can bond over.
I also think you are forgetting to account for smaller interests that you and potential partners can bond over. Are you a dog or cat lover? Do you like going to the beach or museums? Do you collect anything? While my girlfriend and I have no shared hobbies, we’ve bonded over our mutual love of certain things.
Step back and take a look at yourself as a whole rather than just a portrait of what you think women want
You’re not plain boring, talk about those topics extremely enthusiastically while being genuinely interested in the other person. That’s all it takes.
After reading a few replies and your responses, my 2 cents is that you’re catch-22-ing yourself between your own personality and who you’re looking to be compatible with.
What I took this post to describe is an “old soul”, so, you should look for old souls.
They may be older than you with an “average aged soul”, or they may be your age with an “old soul” like yours.
My point is – I think you’re trying to be with the wrong people if you’re trying to be with people your age or are trying to force yourself into dance lessons.
(That isn’t to say not to dance, you should totally try it!!! You’d be amazed at how patternistic dancing is, and if you’re good at other pettern-esque interests like math and chess, you may surprise yourself.)
You really sound like you have nothing to offer women. Expand your horizons, and put yourself into positions where you are actually going to see women. If you maintain this trajectory, the best you could hope for is making a lot of money in tech, then finding yourself a gold digger.