Bf on guys trip hasn’t texted in 24hours+

41 comments

1. He is enjoying some me time for himself in what sounds like a very non-threatening situation. Give him some space. Everyone one needs a break sometimes. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you.

2. Let the man chill. He’s camping? What are you actually worried about? Have a nice think if you are being self-absorbed and demanding. You certainly talk a lot about how you are feeling and don’t seem too bothered if he is enjoying his time away. Hallucinating scenarios won’t help.

   It isn’t great he hasn’t met his agreed call and text quota but you were warned the signal could be spotty. Hopefully he is just having too much fun, right? Because you want your partner to enjoy this trip?

   Just drop it entirely. If he was banging cocktail waitresses two at a time you’d be 100% getting those check-in texts and 2-min calls.

3. Try to not worry about it, I’m sure you’re probably just getting in your own head a little bit. I am sure that it’s related to the spotty service. I’ll bet you everything is fine, but if something shady does actually happen to be going on he isn’t worth the stress anyways. He’s losing someone who cares and you’re not… It’s Saturday, call a friend and have fun!

4. Here’s a word of advice. I used to be like you, I would panic, worry, stress myself out. Go through 2 billion scenarios in my head on repeat. The only thing you are doing, is causing yourself stress and anxiety. No matter how much you worry, panic or freak out it will not change the actions of that person. You have 0 control and that’s what’s bothering you. There is no point being in a relationship with someone if you’re going to stress and worry 24/7 anytime they are away from you. I worked on myself a lot to not be that person, then was in a relationship with someone who was. It’s not fun, it’s not pleasant to have to explain your actions 24/7 to your partner because they have some scenario made up in their head about what I could or could not be doing. Yes he said he would check in, but he also said it may be spotty and might not. I know as a person who camps out in some remote places that if I don’t have service for over an hour I stop checking my phone because who wants to be looking at their phone constantly when you’re out in nature chilling with the boys. I’m not saying this to be mean, or call you out, it’s just really nice to not live in my own head like you are anymore. Talk to a professional, see where it comes from and just remember, not having control is a good thing, it’s really nice to be able to trust someone, even if they say one thing and something happens that changes the outcome. You will never know the security of what it feels like to be like “sure they were supposed to do this, they must be having a great time and I’m happy about that”. Just my 2 cents. Again this isn’t a personal attack just wish you the best.

5. This is some clingy stuff dude. It’s normal for him not to text you 24/7. Just let him enjoy his boys trip because I’m sure he doesn’t go on it often. You gotta find things to do to get your mind off of them.

6. Just chill out and leave him alone until his trip is over. He probably doesn’t have good service anyways.

7. There’s a good chance he’s got no service.

8. Hey man. I also used to be like you. It’s alright, sometimes worrying about it comes from a deeper place within. He said he would try to check in as much as he could, warned you about how it might be a spotty place and you know his friends, so it shows that he truly cares about you.

   Take a deep breath and think why is it bothering you until you find a reason that makes you go “huh, maybe I should check that out”

   He’s in a trip and is having fun with his buddies, so everything will be alright mate. Do something that entertains you too:D Try a new hobby, watch that show you’ve always wanted to watch, hang out with your family and friends. Time will pass faster and eventually, he’ll text back. It’s alright to feel insecure. You aren’t less valid for feeling that way, as long as you work on it. It’ll take time and effort, but it is so much worth it.

   It’s genuinely such a relief to not worry about what they’re doing, it gives you more confidence too. Not saying any of this to insult you. You got this<3

   Edit: adding to it, as someone else said, you can’t have everything in control. And that’s alright. So far he hasn’t given you any reason for him to cheat on you. But when he calls, you can ask him ‘hey how’s it going? What are y’all doing?’ and if his tone is alright, then you have nothing to worry about. For now, focus on something else. It’s ok, you’ll be ok

9. I used to have a gf that was similar to you in going crazy if I never messaged back or checked in. I was at nationals for a track meet competing and I’ll be completely honest, I was more focused on my competition rather than my gf who was and I don’t put this lightly… (BLASTED) my phone until I just shut it off completely. I told her I had to be in bed and she still could not stop messaging me. I got 3rd at nationals and she was more pissed about me not responding rather than congratulating me on placing and being first team all-American. Seriously worked my ass off to place because it was that important to me and it seriously hurt when she was mad at me when I got back when all I wanted to do was celebrate with her on my achievement.

   Regardless of the situation I slowly ended our relationship because I just can’t deal with that sort of relationship. My advice is if you are that needing to know what your so and so is doing nearly 24/7 then it’s probably best you shouldn’t be in a relationship. You become a ball and chain to that person and it doesn’t make them any happier.

10. Im sorry, but that is clingy and overdramatic. For you to say that you feel unloved and have feelings that he is cheating is bizarre.

    First thing I’ll say is that yes, he did say he would text if he had service and would call. That’s totally fine and reasonable. If he hasn’t got service, he won’t be able to text nor call, at the very least you knew that in the back of your mind. Even when he gets service, im sure he isn’t checking his phone every 2 minutes to see if he can. Personally, going camping I only use my phone for photos and videos and maps.

    You need to look at yourself and realise that you are being completely overdramatic and self centred. Your man has gone on a camping trip with his friends and all you give a shit about is how he hasn’t contacted you and your first thought is that he doesn’t love you and is cheating. He is on a boys trip, and you have thoughts that he is cheating. Get real.

    If this sounds mean, I apologise. Although, sometimes someone saying it bluntly is the only way to get it through some peoples head. Unfortunately, I don’t know the rest of your relationship. If you have had thoughts like these, even outside of this boys trip, I understand that, and you should talk to him. But if this is literally the first time something like this has happened, grow tf up

11. I feel exhausted just thinking of being in your boyfriends shoes, honestly.

    If I’m on a trip, I want to be having fun and enjoying myself. I want to disconnect from my phone a bit.

    It’s only been a day and you’re his girlfriend, not his mom.

    Do you think he’s cheating? Otherwise, let it be

12. I fish alot and my gf knows about it even if the trip lasts 3 days but she won’t call me unless I’m back on good land. It definitely started like the relationship you have. A good talk and a compromise would do the trick. Women who don’t have hobbies will suffer the most. If you don’t have a child why not also go out with a few girlfriends? Me time is also important for both of you.

13. “So I know those with kids are checking in on their families”. No. You really don’t.

14. The man is in the woods with his boys he probably doesn’t get to see/get away with anymore like when they were younger. Several have families/kids/etc. This is a rare time the boys get to just be the boys like old times..when he’s forgetting to check in with you, I can guarantee he’s doing guy stuff in the forest with his buddies, having a great time. He’ll come home refreshed with a great weekend with his friends, happy to see you and get back to normal life, as long as you don’t bombard him with accusations and making him feel guilty for the weekend.

15. Hi, thanks for sharing.

    I would like to add the perspective of a much older person.

    What seems important to us in our youth (yes, you are not even 30 yet and your 30’s are some of your very best years) softens over time, due life experience we start to revise what is really important and what is actually not so important over the years. The more times you experience it, (or see others go through it) the more you being to understand how important or not at all important an issue is. It is been there, done that, several times over …. some might also call it wisdom.

    Therefore perhaps, just perhaps, you are feeling stressed because you have less experience from which to compare the situation to and weigh it up. Please consider this suggestion of mine.

    Honestly, the most important issue in a relationship is trust, from this leads all the other stuff like giving, common time and sometimes there is alone time with your own interests. Its a blessing for each partner to feel free to have a hobby because your partner supports you in it by giving you the freedom to do it, even if they are not involved.

    To me it is beautiful that you trust him to go on this trip, its also kinda special that you want to be in contact. Can I suggest that as you experience more of these events, that this need to constantly be in contact will wane as your relationship trust grows? (If you have been cheated on in the past I can also appreciate your sub conscience mind wanting constant check ups)

    So, I dont think he is being abnormal, you are not either, I just think that as your relationship trust grows you will find a different balance.

    Please do not fret, neither of you is doing wrong. (but a better balance it will grow, dont worry)

16. > All but one of his friends have significant others and a few even have kids. So I know those with kids are 100% checking in on their families

    How do you know that? It is genuine question, because I know multiple couples with kids that would not check in every day. They would connect in emergency or if starting/stopping something dangerous.

17. You sound exhausting. He’s fine. Find something else to do and let him enjoy his trip without having to manage your feelings.

18. OP I just checked your post history, stop with the nonsense 🤦🏿‍♂️

19. Your post history is riddled with posts looking for a reason to break up with your bf for over a year, with a nude post in between I’m guessing for validation? I don’t want to be mean but I don’t think not getting a reply in 24hrs is your biggest relationship issue.

20. I know those with kids are 100% checking in on their families.

    How. How do you know this? My 60-year-old dad goes on camping trips with his best friends and we are lucky if we get an email in 15 days. My mother would just be like “phew, now we can go shopping without your father grumbling every 5 minutes.” Those moments were great bonding times for my mother and I. I call/Text my fiance maybe once a week when we go home to our parents for a couple of months. Maybe We are a bit much
    You are being paranoid. People are allowed to go off and do their thing without constantly having to assuage your fears.

21. Op, from your post history it is blatantly apparent to me that you have a lot of insecurities regarding your relationship. You seem to have a very specific idea of how much a couple is supposed to talk to each other. You think it’s not enough being on the phone with your bf 5 times a day and stress him out about it. You think him not wanting to talk to you 24/7 is him not loving you enough. You wanted him to cancel his trip because you feel entitled to his time. He agreed to come back early from his trip for you and now you’re freaking out because he’s probably enjoying himself and not thinking about you all the time. Really think about if this is the kind of person you want to be and the kind of relationship you want to have. Get into therapy and start working on those insecurities. If you don’t, I don’t think he’ll stick around any longer because it must be exhausting for him to be in a relationship with you. I’m sorry to break it to you but it doesn’t seem like he’s the problem here. You are. It’s not healthy and you’re not doing yourself or the relationship any good.

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23. Relax. It’s not that serious

24. You have your boyfriend’s location so you know he is camping and safe. He told you he will have spotty service. Just let him enjoy his trip with his friends. Talk
    to him when he gets back from the trip. You could always send him a quick text instead of watching his location, reviewing when he has service and counting the clock. Or you could use this time to hang out with your friends.

25. I typically don’t call or text others when I’m away. Waste of time.

26. If it makes you feel at ease, right now my boyfriend is on a week long trip with his guy friends, too. I know he’s a social person and when there’s a social setting he’s so focused on it because he’s having so much fun. I haven’t heard from him in days. Even if I would ask him to text me every single day and he would agree, he still wouldn’t because having a guys trip away from everything you’re used to is exciting. His mom hasn’t heard from him in days either, and their relationship is really tight.
    I read you bring up your birthday situation multiple times, but I don’t think he should comfort you every single day while being away on a trip because your b-day wasn’t as enjoyable as you’d hope.
    I literally have no social life besides my bf and his friends. I’m bored every single day just sitting at home or working right now during summer vacation because he isn’t here. That doesn’t mean I want to distract him with things I’m dealing with. I’m happy for him for being on that trip with the friendships he has. I think you should be happy for your bf as well

27. I don’t get couples that track one another via GPS. It’s suffocating and stalkerish. Where is the trust in the need to track someone via satellite? He probably needs a break and some space.

28. >He promised me he would try to text (small non-conversational items like “all good, at the river, etc) and would call me once a day for 2 mins just to say hi.

    The keyword here is **try**. He might have tried, but the signal might have been so bad that he stopped bothering to check.

    &#x200B;

    >It’s super disappointing and I don’t feel like I’m a thought in his mind during this trip and I definitely don’t feel like he loves me or prioritized.

    No offense, but you shouldn’t be his one and only priority 100% of the time, 265, 24/7. Right now, his priority is to have a good time with his friends on his guy’s trip. He should be allowed to enjoy himself and be his own person without the responsibility of having to check in on you so that you can feel comfortable, loved, and prioritised. IF your relationship is stable and you are confident in yourself and it, then you should be able to go a weekend – or at least 24 hours – without needing his attention. You know who he is with and it sounds like it all comes down to you and your self esteem (not to sound harsh, especially as I don’t know your past experiences in relationships). Assuming he has your attention most other times, cut him some slack and allow him to be in the moment with his friends.

    If you are constantly in need of his attention to feel validated, it will get exhausting and unsustainable for him and you will lose him entirely (and the support of his friends who will view you as hard work at best and controlling at worst). It’s one thing if you’re worried about his safety, but you’ve specifically mentioned that it’s more a concern of his devotion to you and what he might be doing.

    If you don’t trust him, is there a particular reason or is it just insecurity? If he’s exhibited behaviours you don’t trust, that’s entirely fair and this is a bigger problem. If it’s down to your own insecurity, I would strongly advise you to seek professional help.

29. friend, you’re posting naked photos of yourself on the Internet, but worried that *he’s* cheating? put yourself in his shoes: how would you feel if he were posting naked photos of himself on the internet and getting feedback like you have throughout your relationship? probably not great. many women on here feel that’s akin to cheating or agree that that would make them uncomfortable. no shame about the photos, you’re hot stuff ma’am, but consider how your partner might feel too; how would you feel if he sought validation from other women outside your relationship?

    you talk with him five times a day, but you say in other posts it only adds up to an hour. how often do you guys see one another? some couples only get to text some days because they’re busy. It doesn’t mean they don’t care. have you talked with him about how he feels about talking as many times per day as you do?

    do you feel your insecurities stem from your previous relationships? it’s important to acknowledge that he is not your exes; your relationship with him is not the same. It seems that you’ve had doubts, based on your post, throughout your relationship together. What would it take for him to prove he loves you?

    give him some grace and some space, and see how things progress. don’t wait for him to text you; text him, check in, say you hope he’s having a good time, etc. do a home spa day/self care, go out for a walk, do something you don’t normally get to do. enjoy your time apart so that it’s that much more meaningful when you get back to normal. plan a special day with him.

30. Not being mean-spirited, and you may not like to hear this, but if I was in a relationship with someone like you I’d break up quickly.

    He’s an adult. He’s allowed to pursue things and enjoy himself with his friends without everything always revolving around you. That’s the hard truth. This isn’t so much about him as it is about you being controlling.

31. tell him to get a new girlfriend that is more secure about the relationship and trusts the partner. nothing worse than someone insecure and untrusting in relationships

32. I can’t imagine why he isn’t interested in checking in /s

33. He’s not prioritizing you at this moment because you’re not the priority at this moment. His priority is to enjoy the trip and have some quality time with the people he is with.

    Let him have that. You can’t control what he does, even by him “checking in”. What good does “checking in” anyway?

    Remember, the more you try to walk him in with rules and restrictions, the more he will likely push against that and potentially even run from such a restricting relationship.

    Live and let live.

34. The real question here that i didn’t see anyone asking is why on earth and how on earth do you know his exact location. This sounds a bit creepy to me ngl

35. This is a you problem, not a him problem.

    He is on a trip with friends. His priority is being on a fun trip with friends. There’s nothing wrong with that. It is completely normal and appropriate for him to focus on that, not on “checking in” with you. Your anxiety is spiralling and I get that, so please do something to manage it instead of blowing up at him for doing something completely normal.

36. Damn dude looking at your post history, you are exhausting as fuck. Jesus christ..relax!

37. Your post history is nothing but complaints about this guy and posting nudes on reddit. I highly suggest putting you both out of your misery and breaking up with him. It sounds like you don’t like anything about him or what he does.

    No person should ever be expected to “check in” while they are on a trip with their friends. My partner frequently hangs out with his friends and we do not talk in that time or else they are short texts back and forth when he is able to bring his attention away from whatever game/activity they are doing.

    Please consider doing some therapy for your insecurity and trust issues. Leave this relationship until you are more able to give independence to your partner.

38. My dad is currently on an event/boys trip to cali (we’re from canada). He hasn’t texted me or my mom in 24+ hours and all my mom does is joke about how he forgot about us after meeting the boys. We understand that he might want his own time with the boys esp since he hasn’t seen any of them in a long time and been spending time with us 24/7 esp since covid hit. Take a deep breath and relax.

    Also, does he know what you post on Reddit? If not, this is definitely the least of your worries😭

39. plz break up w him, just went through your history and he probably feels overwhelmed with u constantly breathing down his back about something and needs a break 😭

40. Youre too Insecure. Lose his tracking location

41. You sound exhausting