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just before a medial procedure i wasn’t guaranteed to come out of the other side
Earlier this year, in late-April, me and girlfriend went for a hike in the mountains. We found a lovely secluded spot and had a picnic lunch and made love right there. As we lay there basking in the sun afterwards, I literally told her: “If I died right now, I’d be okay with it because I would die the happiest I’ve ever been.”
After cuddling for a while she said, “If you died right now, I’d never forgive you. And I wouldn’t tell anyone you’re stuck up on this mountain and the bears will just eat your carcass and you’d deserve it for dying on me and making me hike back alone.”
Anyway, it was a perfect moment in time, one I’ve never experienced before or since.
I’ve had moments where I was so happy that I would believe I’d landed in paradise, sure, but no, never thought I wouldn’t mind if I died at the peak of happiness. That’s kinda strange, no? Like you want the happiness to continue forever and death is the opposite of that.
I saw a woman’s dress blow up by the wind and show off her panties and she acted casually about it.
This entire period of my life. I’ve found love, my passions, and enough time and resources to indulge them.
This cannot last. This is the high point, and it’s downhill from here.
Yes. I have.
I’m also on the other side of I’m so over the shit of life that if I were to die right now, okay. It’s not that I’m suicidal it’s just that if it was my time then I accept that and I’m not mad or angry and I don’t feel like there’s anything in my life left undone.