TLDR- Best mate shows no interest in me or my life, talks only about self
Hey ladies,
Just wanted some advice regarding how to tackle an issue with my best friend. We’ve been friends for 17 years since High School, and our lives have gone different ways. She married the first guy she dated, had kids, hasn’t travelled much and works. I have had a variety of different careers (thanks to COVID decimating my industry), a few different partners and have travelled a lot. Whenever we hang out, she talks about herself for hours in great detail, even talking about things like how she got a good deal on Coffee granules at Walmart etc. I often have a lot to share but don’t get the opportunity, as she doesn’t ask much about me, doesn’t let me talk, and even if she does ask about me she quickly turns the conversation back onto herself, even the most mundane of things.
She recently sent me a rude message about how she felt upset about my partner asking a question about her daughter. My partner til then hadn’t been able to get a word in, and my friend had opened up a health topic (my partner is a specialist in that field), and my friend messaged to say she felt so upset that my partner asked any questions about said concern, and that she’s “done her research” and he should butt out. My partner never said anything untoward, and she had cut him off and talked over him and eventually changed the subject. I hit back and said that it is unfair that she is unhappy that he engaged in the conversation she started, when he finally had a few moments of airtime about something he knows so much about.
Am I right for feeling like I’m over this friendship? If it even is one? I feel like my friend had such small horizons and doesn’t have the self-awareness for us to even discuss this. She’s never been there for me (and my life had severely imploded a few years ago) but I am always there for her.
Signed,
Emotionally exhausted xoxo
3 comments
You two arent friends. You sound like a codependent relationship that has lost the necessity for its existence.
You are absolutely right in your feelings. When people become like this they never change. I had few friendships like this and it was a relief to move from them. If you are sentimental like me you can maintain a rare contact “for the old time’s sake” but definitely find a new best friend!
Friendships come and go and the time for it to go or be on break might be coming. Dont be sad that it may end or has gone down in quality but be happy that you were able to enjoy someone for so long