So I (22F) am a fairly new fashion model. I have modelled in ad campaigns, morning tv talk show fashion segments, e-commerce, etc. Yet, despite popular belief, no man really approaches me. I get lusty comments from men on my Instagram but no one seems serious. On dating apps, it turns sexual fairly quick. It’s like a lot of men want to have sex with me but not be in a committed relationship with me. That’s why I’ve deleted all OLD. In public, I notice men frequently staring at me but they never approach me. I am confident and kind. So I’d like to think I’m approachable? Are some men really intimidated by models? How can I get more success in my dating life? It sucks sometimes getting complimented on my physical appearance all the time yet no one wants to actually date me. I’ve been single since early 2019 and would like to date again.
EDIT: Thank you for your pertinent answers. I’ve received some great responses!
To answer the question, “Am I a plus-size model?” Technically, YES. In the modelling world if you’re not a size 2 then you’re considered “plus/curvy”. I am a perfectly normal weight. My body is similar to Beyoncé’s.
Also, many folks are going to my confessions post and calling me condescending. My ex boyfriend used to body shame me and ABUSE me. When I discovered him cheating on me, I broke up with him and he held me at KNIFE point saying that I “gave him confidence in his social life” and that he’d rather “kill me than see me with someone else”. This is why I’ve been single since 2019! Moreover, girls in high-school used to take advantage of my kindness and BULLY me because of my gap teeth which is a feature that is revered now that I am a model. These ladies are now super fake and try to be my friend. So if my “success is the best revenge” post makes you think I’m condescending and stuck up, oh well. I don’t care. I am proud of my success and in proving these losers WRONG.
Furthermore, some of y’all are saying because I lurk on FDS that’s why I’m single? Lmfao!!!! The internet is hilarious. Do some of y’all think before you type ludicrous responses?
EDIT 2: Thanks EVERYONE. I’m no longer replying. All the best!! Xx
38 comments
Most assume models will be extremely high maintenance with an overinflated ego that’s pretty much a game over for men that are looking for long term serious relationships who don’t want to deal with the problems that come with this .
>Are some men really intimidated by models?
It’s not intimidation, it’s the generalization that it comes with alot of BS.
I’m not intimidated, I just know I’m ugly and I have no chance, so I stay in my lane.
Not so much “intimidated” as much as “oh… yeah, she’s waaaaay outta my league, why bother?”
That’s an interesting insight. Im 20 M and i never thought of that. When I see a really pretty women I would often think about approching but then I’d be like:
Why should I even bother about it – I bet she gets approached by a dozen guys per week.
Never realised that maybe a lot of guys think like this and you could actually have a shot with women that pretty =)
Maybe most ppl think those models are egocentric and prefer to avoid any approaching as it doesn’t worth it I think I would include myself
I wouldn’t say intimidated. More put off.
The perception of models is all the red flags we try to avoid are celebrated in model culture. Shallowness, overinflated ego, valuing beauty over personality and a distinct lack of empathy are among the main ones.
This is not to say that you or any other single person displays all of these all the time. Just that that’s how your community is perceived.
Every model I’ve ever met, male female or other, has been a terrible person.
I dated a model shortly after high-school. She was actually quite “normal” and very pleasant. I didn’t know she was a model until after we dated the first few weeks. Maybe that’s the secret! Keep it a secret for a bit, or don’t mention it anyhow.
In this day in age, it’s so intimidating to approach anyone, let alone someone who’s physically stunning.
Make it known that you have mutual interest in someone you’d like to approach you. Don’t break eye contact, keep looking at them, I promise they will come up and say something. But you have to have to initiate the non verbals.
Not some men… most men will be intimidated. The ones who aren’t, have had a lot more “experience” and you’ll just be another notch in the bedpost.
Many men don’t approach women outside of their league. And if they are approached, they believe there must be a catch like ”Does she want me or my money?” If you are a 8 or a 9 people will question your true intentions, especially if they find the idea of golddiggers and sugar daddies repulsive. Women usually don’t date down, men are more flexible.
We Just always get told that attractive girls are constantly hit on by guys and now get annoyed when guys approach them.
It’s not like guys wouldn’t want to date a model, it’s just that we are constantly told that us approaching women is borderline harassment. So it’s a catch 22. A guy liking you won’t approach you lol. I see women while in the gym that I find attractive, and I have no problem approaching people… but fuckkkk no I’m not about to approach them mid workout lol.
Also hey🧍🏻how you doing?
Fellow model here— I get booked for auto shows, races, launches etc. Pretty much no guy EVER approaches me. Unless every now and then I’m at a show and it’s really busy, they’re mostly too shy. They think we will reject them so they don’t even try. Comes with the territory unfortunately.
What’s helped me IRL though, is when I smile at them or strike up a conversation first. I can always find something funny to say, or just be sweet. You can say anything at all and they’ll just be glad to know you aren’t as intimidating as you look. I’ve struck a few dates that way.
With online, choosing photos that look more “normal” rather than where I’m looking my absolute hottest helps a ton. Not wearing revealing or too many skin tight clothes in the photos. Smiling, doing an activity, showing your personality (I’m really goofy so I chose one cute pic of me making a funny face with my friend). If I show any hot photos or photos with serious poses/expression I’m more likely to get hookup artists. Be sure to actually fill out your bio with original things that showcase who you are and give them a decent opening to start with. Good luck! 🙂
The lifestyles is too different. I have a model friend who travels consistently almost every week. This makes dating difficult in general where a lot of time yall don’t have time for it. Especially if the guy/girl you’re dating is working a normal 9-5 where days off to travel with you can’t happen that often. there’s a reason why people in similar line of work tends to date each other.
You are simply terrifying. In fact, I’m about to run and hide in my attic ASAP.
Well, dang. Now that I’ve read all of op’s replies, I think I need to keep improving myself, build up my looks and confidence, and then shoot my shot.
How does the saying go?
*”You miss 100% of the shots that you miss.”*
Whats the point of taking part of rat race with lots of diffrent dudes. But chickenfinger give great advise for any girl – women must make 1st move to show men he wont be a creep and just like in job, genuine smile will open many doors
Do you ever approach guys? Obviously not the ones that are creepily eye fucking you from afar, but a guy you think is attractive and is alone. Do most models really want to be approached by the average guy? I am a guy with a dad bod not much time between work, and being a single dad of a kid that is in sports and other activities. But I always think would she really want to be approached by me? Not in great shape not ugly and I do have a lot of other really good qualities like being a genuinely good person that actually cares about other people and their feelings and a romantic at heart. My best qualities are not shown on the outside. Would an attractive woman want to be approached my someone like me?
Have you tried approaching men?
Some men don’t want to live the ‘model’ life and would rather have someone that is focused on their goals at home. A life in the limelight usually is lonely 🙁 sorry its been hard!
Could be a combo of:
1) think you are out of my league and don’t want to bother you
2) Most men will just think you will say “I have a boyfriend”
How I would help resolve it is if you see a male that you think is attractive feel free to hand him a slip of paper with your number on it. It will make their decade
Intimidated, no. Realizing realistically she’s out of their league, yes
Well, I would be, but I’m intimidated by women in general.
There’s no way i would approach to you
How would men in public know you are a model?
So I used to model and your experience mirrored mine exactly. No one would really approach me.
I started attended kickboxing, cycling, rock climbing, and ballroom dancing groups. The men in these groups got a chance to get to know me and then, I started getting dates!
Maybe try something like that? That’s my suggestion.
She is active in FDS yikes
Being social is a two way street.
I am an average Joe and let me share my perspective. If a girl looks too hot or too pretty, I won’t even swipe them right, not because I am intimidated but because I know I have zero chances of getting matched with her and I won’t want to waste my matches, lol. Same thing is true in real life as well.
Why don’t you approach guys?
Women have to stop using the word “intimidating”when they mean “put off”
It’s hard to say exactly without knowing the person, but I will say this. I think the word “intimidated” gets used way too much. Yes, there are some women that men aren’t going to approach because she’s “too pretty” or out of his league. But at the same time, you’ll see women who are loud, abrasive, arrogant, etc who say that men are “intimidated” by them when the truth of the matter is that men can see their attitude from a mile off and just don’t want to deal with them.
That being said, if you’re having a hard time getting men to approach you, then you need to start approaching them. If you see someone you like, ask him out. You’re going to swing and miss a few times, but you’ll be successful other times. That’s just how it is when you’re on the side of doing the asking.
oh lord personally intimidated doesn’t even begin to describe it lmao
I’ve heard a couple (quite attractive) people say that they think models can be airheads and are simply interested in surface level things, as if there isn’t any depth to them. Not sure how accurate this is.
The guys that you match with on OLD are the guys that every girl matches with, so they have tons of options. That’s why they don’t want to have committed relationships. It’s not ‘you’ per say, it’s the fact all women want the same men on OLD.
Your best bet is to try and meet someone organically.
its your personality
Looks like you’re a plus sized model according to your post history? That’s not what men traditionally think when they think of a model?
Yes of course, and also dont bring it up too much. Dated a model who told me every 5 min she was a model…
I worked in a modeling agency for 8 years. Most of the models ended up dating photographers, clothing designers, agents or people in finance/business. The more famous models ended up with celebrities and those relationships never lasted long. The key is finding someone secure in who they are and everything else falls into place.
Stop being lazy and approach men your not allowed to complain if you don’t put in any effort.