Some background, partner and I dated for 3 years until I ended it in 2020. I ended it because we were constantly arguing and i wasn’t happy. However Earlier this year we reconnected and we’re giving it another try.
So a major issue in our relationship is trust. He lost trust in me when i went through his phone and I lost trust in him when I found dating apps and convos with other women In his phone. Some how universe pulled us together and we’re building trust little by little. It’s been difficult tho because we are 5 hours from each other. So everything has been by phone or text, which is honestly challenging. The only other time we see each other is every other month.
Now for what happened, sparing the details.
Tonight we were having this heavy convo and then we started talking about IG, I had cleaned up my following list months before to have just friends/family. He brought up a friend of this guy I used to see. He asked me why I was still following this person and honestly I didn’t give it much thought. I could tell my bf was getting upset and suspicious because of all the questions he was asking me about this person. Between his questioning me I had stumbled my words and said something else. He immediately zeroed in on that and accused me of being in contact with this guy, which I don’t. When I tried to explain my mistake, he didn’t believe me. So we spent two hours going back and forth. Him accusing me of lying and hiding something. And I’m trying to explain the misunderstanding but failing. I get defensive because I feel like I’m being pushed into a corner with the accusations. I’m getting angry because he won’t believe me, he thinks I’m lying and “withholding information”. He tells me that he’s angry that I don’t see his perspective. That there’s too many “holes” in my explanation (and maybe there was, when I’m upset, my mind races and I can’t think straight). I got frustrated and exhausted going in circles, it wasn’t being resolved. He kept reiterating why he’s upset with me and talking over me. So I tell him I’m hanging up. He immediately texts me after saying he wants a week of no contact and that I shouldn’t expect anything from him.
So I’m trying to see his perspective and why all this anger directs towards me. I know I didn’t do anything wrong, I’m not lying. I’m not hiding anything. I feel like it’s his decision not to trust me and I can’t change that no matter how I try to explain. The only thing I can do is reassure him, give him his space and give it time. But I can’t help but feel like the whole thing is dumb and unfair. Getting mad over something on social media, over nobody, over the past. It makes me sad and angry. It really makes me question if this relationship is worth fixing. Can it even be fixed. Also this is my first serious long term relationship.
Any suggestions or advice is appreciated.
TLDR: BF and I are back together after being 2 years apart. Had a issue with social media and trust come up tonight and now it’s making me think if we should keep trying or if it’s time to end our relationship for good.