Recently, I have been trying to get over the fact that I do make a lot of mistakes. Like a lot. I feel quite down by it. Like people won’t like me, will call me a fool, or something.
When I try talking I sometimes go overboard, I get a bit overexcited by some topics.
Sometimes I annot decide upon stuff really, I would hop from on option to the other.
Slef awareness is really getting to me, what if I get in a relationship and get ditched for being a fool.
Now I am really worried whether I’ll ever grow up from these habits.
Need reassurance. Thank you.
2 comments
As long as you keep viewing yourself as inferior due to your mistakes, you will end up acting that way. People will notice and feel that vibe coming from you. People notice the way you carry yourself and the vibes you give off. When you are nervous/anxious/overthinking/worrying about who you are and what you are, your verbal and nonverbal actions tend to show it. If you keep acting this way, people will stop associating with you because it’s a negative vibe. You are essentially conveying that you are indeed unworthy to hold a conversation with them or be around them and that they need to be constantly reassuring you. That’s not what you want to convey, and it’s nobody else’s job but your own to validate and reassure yourself. People gravitate towards self confidence, not anxiety. Find something you enjoy doing in life and keep doing that overtime. You will build much needed self confidence and self esteem. Chase excellence, not people’s approval.
Do you learn from the mistakes?
Everyone makes mistakes but their are different ways of viewing them.
– Was the mistake entirely accidental/’silly’ and isolated? If so, it’s just a random mistake, everyone makes them. Eg. Bumping in to someone and spilling a drink
– Was the mistake entirely accidental/’silly’ and repeated? It may be worthwhile trying to work out how you can reduce this, but not super necessary eg. Check your work before submitting for grammar if you make consistent maths errors, try and practice situational awareness to reduce bumping into people
– Was the mistake something you repeat and is not a careless oversight? It’s worth reviewing and improving. Eg. Repeatedly upsetting people because the way you said things came out differently than how you meant them. Ask someone for honest feedback about what it is – tone, expression, word choice – and then practice not doing that and keep asking for feedback
– Was the mistake accidental but had big consequences? Think health and safety and put protocols in place to reduce, eg you must always check your blind spots before pulling out when driving, you get a quick run down of any difficulties with other members of a house before you go over so you don’t trigger the vet with PTSD or accidentally stumble into grandma’s racist tirade.
– Was the mistake repeated with big consequences? You need to correct this. It should be a major focus for the next three months at least to manage this. Use whatever resources you have available to address.
Mistakes are an opportunity to learn. Not all need to be actioned, but some really should be.
If you think you keep making mistakes, fit your mistakes into the categories (or any others you can think of), decide if you need to take action to prevent it happening again, decide how to action them and then do it.
All habits can be made or lost. There is hope, but you have to do the work.