I (21f) am currently on holiday with my family in our home country. My partner (25m) did not come with me as it was a mother-daughter trip

Last night I was very tired from visiting family and went to bed quite early, and slept through the night waking up at about 6am.

I woke up to several concerned missed calls and text messages from my partner. We have an app where we can see each other’s location (this was my suggestion for safety reasons when I go out without him)

At about 3am my location had jumped to the other side of the island, I not sure why, maybe because of the cellphone towers or bad reception.

He now isn’t sure if I lied to him or not as to where I was and I’m worried about our relationship moving forward.

We are in pretty big fight now because I feel like if he trusted me he would take my word.
But he thinks that anyone would be suspicious.
He is currently contacting my cousin to ask if I was really in bed.

What should I do, am I crazy to be this upset?

Edit:

It was my idea to get the tracking app. It has a lot of safety features that I can use to quickly contact him if I’m in trouble. I have been SA’d before and it makes me feel comfortable that he can find me if I need help

34 comments

  1. I’d end the relationship personally. Absolutely fuck having another person think they’ve a right to track my movements, much less have a say in what I do with my own time.

  2. If you are with someone that tracks your whereabouts constantly, then you are in a wrong relationship and with a control freak.

  3. Why has he got so much mistrust towards you? That’s sort of a red flag in itself, seems like he’s projecting a bit.

    Do you want this relationship to move forward if he’s going to make accusations and track your every movement?

  5. Your boyfriend sounds to be excessively suspicious and controlling. To start with what is he doing at three am monitoring where you are? Multiple calls and messages are excessive, as is calling your cousin.

    He clearly doesn’t trust you.

  6. The app should be used for safety reasons, and that alone. He wasn’t using it for that, he’s just showing he’s controlling and doesn’t trust you. That behavior isn’t okay.

  8. Your boy has zero trust in you and is heavily controlling. Anyone who needs my cousin’s word over my own, would not be calling themselves my boyfriend for much longer.

  9. I am not sure I get why everyone is jumping on the bf hate wagon.

    OP was the one to have the app put on the phone. So it’s not like bf is being intrusive, he is doing what she asked.

    Let’s look at this from his viewpoint:

    So I gave a question Reddit. My gf is on a trip with her family back to her home country. Due to a history of SA on her part, she asked for us to have an app on our phones that allow us to track each other’s locations (for safety purposes). While she was away, I was checking the app from time to time because I was concerned for her safety and this is what I promised her I would do. Well last night the app said she had traveled to the far side of the island but when I asked her about it, she said she had gone to bed early. When I pointed out the location sent from the app, she suggested it must have been a technical glitch. I don’t know what to believe, technology or my gf. Is it possible for the app to give the wrong location? (Perhaps an issue with the cell towers). I want to believe her but it seems a bit far fetched. I decided to confirm her location by asking her cousin who is on the trip, for my own piece of mind. Now people are saying I am being too controlling and she should dump me. This doesn’t seem like a fair assessment to me, I think my doubts are reasonable and I am calmly trying to confirm her story instead of losing my crap and just dumping her. So Reddit, what do you think?

    Why do people immediately jump on the red flag/dump them band wagon? I notice you all assumed that OP was telling the truth and that the GPS on her phone was at fault…does that seem like a more likely scenario to you?

    OP – have your cousin confirm your story if they can. Unless there are “other” red flags I would give him the benefit of the doubt.

  11. What do the timestamps say, and do they indicate you teleported? (Was it actually feasible for you to have made it to the other side of the island and back in between the prior and following location entry showing you where you’re staying?)

  12. i’m in the same kind of predicament now. i was at my bf’s house watching his dog (he was out of town) and it said i was somewhere completely different and its been doing this to my friends too who have their location on for other people. what bothered me was the same thing how my partner immediately assumes cheating even though he has all my passwords and can look through my phone whenever he pleases. it’s annoying having them act like that when you’ve never done anything to make them act like that. i think its okay to be upset but also understand their point of view but just talk to them and tell them hey i understand that my location might’ve made you wonder but I am telling you where i was idk why it was doing that but if you cant just listen to me a d take my word then we have another problem we need to discuss.

  13. Are you two using the app to track each other’s every move, or for security/emergency? It sounds like he is using it to track you, and I am not sure you want that. Also, he is now involving your family and embarrasing you? You need to make your boundaries VERY clear to this guy if you plan on staying with him after this.

  14. Holy fuck girls in this reddit are ruthless with the male counterpart of the relationship, its almost like they want things to not work out, you introduced the tracker idea, it is not your fault that apps are not perfect and that these things happen, my girl and I had the very same issue (All I really do is play games and hang on dc with friends) and the tracker said I was somewhere else, I’m sure he’ll understand eventually, you don’t NEED someone to back you up to tell him you were sleeping but it would certaintly help, you’d want that too if you were on the other side. Best of luck.

  15. My partner and I have location tracking on as well. If something like this ever happened to us, and my girlfriend assured me that it was just a glitch in her phone, I’d believe her and forget about it in ten seconds. The fact that your boyfriend is so mistrusting of you is a huge problem, especially if you’ve given him no reason to distrust you.

  16. You’re on holiday, what difference does it make where you are? You could’ve travelled to another island, (I’m assuming you didn’t) he knows you’re on holiday, he’s making this into a bigger situation then it needs to be.

  17. Worrying about you when you appeared to be somewhere you hadn’t planned to be is one thing. You have the app for situations like this, where you might have been in trouble.

    Not taking your explanation of what happened at face value is a completely different issue and shows that he doesn’t trust you or and/or thinks you are cheating on him. Assuming you’re not cheating and haven’t given him a reason to think you are, something is wrong. Whether or not it’s something thing solvable is something you’ll have to decide for yourself. I’d probably switch to giving a friend or family member access to your location app rather than him if he’s going to be like this.

  19. You told him what happened end of conversation. Don’t give this any airtime. You didn’t do anything. Period. Everything else is a him issue. Enjoy your holiday.

    Or don’t. Fall into this trap and let him wreck your holiday, but I guarantee he’s gonna slowly wreck other things in your life that give you joy because he sounds controlling and deranged.

    Seriously people need to stop tolerating mindgames and BS. He’s trying to cause drama so you are only thinking about him until he gets you back with him. That’s selfish and controlling and pathetic. Real partners want their SO to enjoy their lives and not create drama to force intimacy with them and drive them away from others.

  21. If it’s LIFE 360 it does that a lot. I’ve checked my husband before and it has shown him in the trees, in the middle of a road, etc. For whatever reason your boyfriend doesn’t trust you. I would dump his ass. You’re on a family vacation and he’s ruining it with his insecurities and bullshit.

  22. “I have answered your questions. I’m in another country and I can’t explain the glitch. You have to either believe me or not. To help you believe me I’ll answer questions truthfully, but I won’t accept your anger. I don’t deserve your anger. Eventually you’re going to have to trust me or break up. So make up your mind.”

  23. I had the same thing happen.

    Your phone’s internal sensor has been damaged.

    It was pretty easy to explain for me that no, I had not gotten up and driven around town at over 80 mph from 2am until 4am while I was sleeping in the same bed as my SO.

    Good luck.

  24. Break up with him. Anyone who avidly follows location of someone(other than their child) is creepy as fuck and controlling. So what if you were on another part of the island. What does it matter? What if something came up and you randomly decided to go there for whatever reason. Were you supposed to inform him of your split second decision to do something other than the itinerary laid out for him before you left?

  26. No matter how many times I reset my location, my phone always pinpoints me somewhere in another part of the country I live in. I don’t even remember the last time I visited there. 4 or 4 years ago?

    Anyway. They can either trust you or not. I understand why you had an app added.
    **BUT**… if he’s using the app to gauge whether or not he trusts you, there are larger issues at play than your glitch in the matrix.

  27. If you partner is this distrustful of you, honestly, you should rethink whether you want to be in this relationship.

  28. No way. You’re not crazy to be upset about this. It’s true that GPS can glitch out. There’s this campground I sometimes stay at, and the cell service there is kind of weird. Sometimes you will be at the campsite, but if you check your location on Google Maps, it will show that you are actually across the river in town, which is where I’m assuming the cell tower is.

    He definitely should trust you on this. If you had a history of being unfaithful or acting sketchy, then maybe I could see it, but I’m assuming you probably don’t, so yeah, he should be taking you at your word on this.

  29. Everybody keeps emphasizing it was used for safety but forgets to consider it stops being for safety when he starts wanting to know about her location after he knows she is in a safe place and even less about safety when she says it was a glitch and she was safe in bed all night but feels the need to ask her cousin anyways … this is controlling behavior and you need to consider it a sign of future issues to be on the look out for

  30. I would be suspicious too, but if there no possible way for you to move that quickly as the tracking spp said then.. i mean.. he should trust you

  31. My boyfriend and I share our location as well for safety reasons. I mean, if your boyfriend trusted you enough especially with your past of SA, he would believe you. You do have a right to be upset, I would be too.

  33. Do you have Google maps? If so you should screenshot your Google timeline

Leave a Reply
You May Also Like