I am in my upper 20s and I have never had a relationship. I guess I got the fomo when my friends all around me settled down by getting married and having kids and the fear started kicking in during the pandemic. How do I get over this because I want to focus on my career and not worry about dating ( it never works out ) any advice?
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Think of the mountains of debt they’re all in.
Is that just ordinary FOMO or are you having a very real fear of the window of time closing on the one and only life you’ll have the opportunity to find love or start a family in?
Don’t just write it off and ignore it if it’s something you want, don’t just bury it like it’s a bad feeling you can’t do anything about, or you WILL miss out, and you WILL regret it for the rest of your life.
You’re actually dodging lots of bullets.
It would depend tremendously on your specific fears and your specific situation.
The broadest advice, especially if you aren’t satisfied with life generally or the fear is causing disruptions is your life, is to go get some professional counselling or therapy.
If you don’t get professional help, you can help by working through the same steps of therapy. Identify the beliefs, which can be difficult. Evaluate them with another person to help view how likely or unlikely they are. (*This is an area where you can’t fully trust our own views because everyone is biased favoring our own beliefs. EVERYBODY needs another human for this discussion*.) If they’re completely irrational beliefs, talk with the other person to help you dispute them. If they’re unlikely but possible, look at the likelihood and proportionality. For all beliefs, discuss where they came from, what happens to trigger them, and discuss possible ways to react to them.
You may decide in scenario to congratulate them on their fun times, you may decide in another scenario to host your own events and invite others, you may decide in another scenario to ignore their postings, you may decide in yet another scenario to unfriend them or even block them on social media, or to change your own social media habits.
Remember that you’re not on anybody’s schedule but your own. Everyone takes their own path in life and just because others are doing certain things in their 20s doesn’t mean you have to.
Besides, i always hear that for guys, dating becomes better in your late 20s and 30s as you become more established in your life and career and you’re seen as “higher value”.
Kids are great but your life is effectively theirs until they leave. And even after that it still might be theirs. You are lucky if you get to focus on your career with kids.
Marriage is great but only with someone you actually enjoy spending time with. It isn’t worth burning your life away in a loveless marriage. Marry someone you can actually be friends with even if that means waiting another 20+ years.