am i fucking up if i dont date while im young

28 comments

1. I mean you don’t gotta tie yourself down to anybody unless you want to but look at it like this, would you rather be learning how to overcome shyness in your twenties or going into your 30s?

2. No, but don’t completely shut the possiblity out.

   Don’t let your shyness stop you from getting to know people, regardless for romance or not.

3. Take this with a grain of salt.

   it’s ok to not stress about dating but I’ve found social skills are more valuable than anything we learn in college. While you are not worrying about it and focusing on work and school, throw in exercise, some social activities, and go ahead and learn about dating, sex, etc. Read about it, listen to pod casts, talk to your friends…

   Don’t stress but dating is important and some that don’t take steps and think about what they want end up in unhappy marriages. When you are dating, hopefully you are learning stuff that can make a happy home and life… or a miserable one.

4. If youre a man you got time. If youre a woman…best years to get a man is between 20 and 29.

   Man has a bit more time but if youre shy now dont expect waiting in and off itself will make you more confident (with girls). That you can only achieve by doing what you fear (most) in regard to women.

   Time is not your friend nor will it help you with girls. Same applies to women. Time is basically actively working against us.

   Its like the soothing, calming, comfy and warm voice that promises salvation. That voice is lying to you though.

5. I have to say that it depends on your gender and what you want in a relationship.

6. Depends. If you’re male you have time and your dating prime is in your 30s and 40s. Female dating prime is pre 30s and kids is before 35 more often than not. Those are very general standards and aren’t the same across the board for everyone.

7. I would recommend focusing on buidling friendships because going through your 20ies without friends sucks ass. The dating part will come automatically.

8. Are you a guy or girl?

9. No, but unfortunately your only relationship experience & expectations will come from media & what others are willing to expose to you about their relationships which is extremely limiting & can set unfair precedence.

   Dating while young is more of a way for you to gather what it is you need in a partner, and what you absolutely can’t tolerate in a partner.

   Missing out on that doesn’t necessarily mean much, especially depending who you are, but I’ve dated women who I’ve been their first or second relationship & often times I couldn’t meet expectations & a lot was assumed rather than communicated.

   Falling on your face is an integral part of learning, in my opinion, with anything, especially relationships.

10. No, I’m 23 and only started dating in August 2021 for the same reason.

    I don’t ‘regret’ not dating earlier, but I do think of the pro’s, mainly I would have had better social skills at this point.

    I’ve been on like 8 dates and I’m still learning new shit along the way – stuff that Id probably be better at if I was dating at 21, but hey, it is what it is!

    It also gets to be kinda fun when you meet someone you sorta like.

11. Speaking as another shy person who’s been down the same thought path before, it’s definitely possible but it’s pretty lonely, and you have to be careful to not completely shut out any social interaction and stick to your comfort zone.

    Make sure you’re still going out and doing things that interest you and meeting other people is something that will come naturally, the people that are interested in having a friendship/relationship with you will push to make plans and get to know you, all you have to do is be open to those opportunities.

12. I thought this way when I was 21 and just stayed home and played video games . I’m 28 now my shit still isn’t “together” and tinder is my best friend lmao. I would suggest just making sure you don’t neglect your close friends while you focus on yourself as they’re a gateway to meeting new people

13. I’m sry but I hate all of these comments lol
    You can date whenever you want to, and you can decide if you want to try, regardless of age and gender.
    I would recommend you work on shyness though, I am v shy too and as young and inexperienced as you are, but trying and moving forward in little steps feels right to me atm. Maybe do more sports/other activities that make you like yourself, and try to find your boundaries within your shyness. How far can you go with a girl/boy? Maybe tell them you’re feeling shy. In one way It’s about learning the game, in the other way it’s about figuring out what you want/makes you feel good. And don’t forget, when it comes to dating, sometimes people just come into your life, so try to be open to them 🙂

14. Dating and relationships don’t get any easier by avoiding and waiting.

    In fact, there are lots of posts on Reddit from people in their mid to late 20s who have never been on a date or kissed anyone. Most of them are now self-conscious about it.

    If you want to learn how to swim eventually you have to get in the water!

    When it comes to love and relationships most of us *fail our way* to success.

    Very few people hit a homerun their 1st, 2nd, 3rd, or 4th time up at bat.

    If this were not the case, we would all be married to our high school sweethearts!

    With each failed relationship, heartache, or betrayal we are presented with an opportunity to either craft or refine our mate selection screening process and *must haves list* for choosing our next mate.

    ***“Never allow waiting to become a habit. Live your dreams and take risks. Life is happening now.”*** – Paulo Coelho

    ***”Dating is primarily a numbers game…. People usually go through a lot of people to find good relationships. That’s just the way it is.”*** – Henry Cloud

    Best wishes!

15. now is the time to be working on your social skills so when you’re older you’re more prepared for more mature individuals. Otherwise you’re going to be socially awkward at an older age without any ability to socialize with the opposite sex. What your attitude should be at this age is to talk to as many women as you can with the goal in mind that you’re going to fuck up and try to learn from every one of those mistakes.

16. By all means, reinforce your disability for a few more years until you are “ready.”

    Or, you could get into therapy, figure out what is wrong, and join the real world with the rest of us.

17. You should definitely focus on school/work (especially if you can earn more after and start saving/investing early).

    That being said, don’t end up like the 30+ year olds that never had a relationship and don’t know how to date. It’s hard enough to date at this age without the lack of prior experience.

    If you’re still studying, you shouldn’t have that hard of a time meeting people, I’d imagine there’s various ways to meet people on campus and the bars/clubs nearby. Or joining some hobby related clubs could work as well.

18. Date whenever you can. Youth is the best time for everything really. There’s less at stake and you learn so much by just doing things, dating included.

    At your age you don’t need to have everything sorted in your life. Just be you and dip your toe in the water.

19. You’re essentially kicking the can down the road but nothing wrong with. I would keep at it and working on it and keep yourself in an uncomfortable state so it eventually is a normal thing

20. Focus on your studies but keep the door open to relationships. Aside studying, you need to also have a social life. You may be shy but that doesn’t mean you can’t meet people.

    Join a club, play a sport, go to the gym, join a study group, attend a play, do anything and go anywhere. The more you socialize, the higher your chance of meeting someone.

    Getting into a relationship now will help you understand people a little. No guarantees that the person you date at this stage in your life will be your life partner. If it works out for you, fine, if not, you learn from the mistakes and make the next relationship a better one.

21. Perfect circumstances is a lie. You need to try getting out of your comfort zone slowly and practice talking to girls (if you are a male as I assume)one by one.
    Dating and communicating are skills which need to be practiced and getting experienced.

22. Obviously yes, if that’s what you want to do. However, I would say be careful of why you’re ok with not dating. As someone who is a bit shy and introverted myself I kind of had this idea, but for me it was more a result of being scared to put myself out there. The thing is you’ll never be *complete*, and using that as an excuse is probably not the best way to go about it.

    Dating isn’t everything and it’s always fine to not do it if that is right for you and you feel like you need time.

23. Hmmm… so I kind of did what you’re thinking about doing. I’m 32 now and I didn’t really start trying to date until I was 27.

    In my experience, I wish I had made more of an effort earlier in my life than I did. Even just a little effort here, and a little effort there would probably have put me in a better situation today. While I got my life to a point where I look great on paper, I was awkward and so terribly uncomfortable on dates when I first started to try and date. I still am not great today, but I’m way better than I was. But it’s tough to say what’s best for you. All I know is that I have never been terribly shy but I’m terrible at reading other people and even worse at expressing my feelings, and those are things I’m still working on after trying to date for almost 5yrs.

    Maybe it’s best to just give dating a try seasonally? I.e. every summer (or whatever season you prefer) you try your hand on a dating app or make a concerted effort to try a new pastime that forces you to be more social. Worst case scenario, you might make some new friends that you maintain friendships with year around. Best case you meet someone awesome and you’ve found your SO. Plus maybe a new hobby or pastime!

    Good luck!

24. The earlier you start, the more experience you get and the higher the chance you’ll find someone who is the perfect fit for you.

    There are only negatives for starting dating later in life. You’ll have to deal with the first few trial relationships which are always a waste of time, horrible especially when you’re older.

25. You never have to date, there is no deadline. I am 32, and still could find dates when I put myself out there, but I am currently on a hiatus as well, because I wanted to just relax and do my own thing. It has become just a normal thing in my lifetime. I would take “breaks” for years. Often, relationships were a result of friendships that just naturally happened over time. I think rushing into a relationship is one of the worst things you can do.

26. Yes this is the best thing to do especially when you’re young. If you don’t have money dating is gonna be hell for you anyways. You become successful then you attract women to you. Just look at tinder, most guys get like 2-5 matches a week if that. I didn’t even get a full conversation or date when I was on it which is why I’m only focusing on myself. I got depressed from being on the app and it being clear that I wasn’t wanted, so I deleted it.

    Don’t think you’re missing out that much because you’re really not. So don’t take it too serious but if the chance to date comes along then you should experience it.

27. brother, my dear brother… recently it was your birthday all i say is….. do anything you want, excites or you can do, fulfill!!

28. I dated when I was younger and I still ended up socially awkward and unable to form attachments while approaching my 30s so… I suppose it doesn’t matter. There are better/other things out there than dating