I (42M) and her (32F) have been dating for 3 years. Sitting next to her I see she’s chatting with her ex and has been for our entire relationship. She says it’s about kittens and gardening. I don’t know kind of rubs me the wrong way and I’m definitely cut from a different cloth when it comes to chatting with exes. She has never been in a long term relationship and I’ve had a 14 year relationship with kids. We didn’t argue but I just feel like that’s weird. What about the rest of you, what do you think about staying in touch with a recent ex while dating someone new?
TLDR; saw girlfriends phone and she’s chatting with an ex for the whole time we’ve been together calling it just friends.
7 comments
Seriously you’re in your 40s and the concept of maturity and amicable separations is still foriegn to you? This is teenager drama not for people who have been sdults for decades now. You either trust her or you don’t.
They are talking about gardening aka trimming her bush and kitten, another name for a kitten is a pussy cat, just cross over the cat part. Having an ex as a friend when you are in a relationship is asking for trouble.
It’s a basic question of is she trustworthy. If you agreed on the boundaries of the relationship, and you trust her to keep them, then this isn’t an issue. If you don’t trust her, then you have a bigger issue. I am friends with my exes, and it’s the least worrisome thing possible, because my exes are exes because we do not work together romantically or sexually. They are the people in the world I am the least likely to do anything non-platonic with. The relationships didn’t work, so they ended, but the friendships were fine and so they remained.
I am close friends with two exes. Sometimes people are just not a fit romantically but make far better friends. No part of me wants to get back together. They are both married and I am also friends with their wives. I really value those friendships.
It sounds like you are projecting your own insecurities into this. Either you trust your partner or you don’t. Also, if you have been dating for 3 years, she is not texting with a “recent ex”.
>kittens and gardening
Oh man that’s fkin gold 😀 She’s a comedian at least, that one.
Seriously, though, she’s talking to her ex, the entire relationship? In front of you? And you tolerate that? Blatant disrespect on her part, my guy. Blatant disrespect. And the texting is probably just the tip of the iceberg.
I’m friends with all my exes. They’re exes for a reason. I would not choose to date somebody who had a problem with that.
I’m with you, I’ve actually come across this recently my new partner he has his ex on his social media and I’ve deleted mine.
I’m not sure how to feel about it but it does make me uncomfortable and I will probably need to address it