I’m in a weird scenario… this women who I been dating for 8 months is not physically attractive towards me but she is super emotionally attractive towards me
But since she lacks physical attraction she is not affectionate to me and we do not have sex often as she gets turned off quickly
She says she does not want to loose me and wants to see if she can get pass the physical
What should I do?
35 comments
Do you think you should reevaluate this relationship?
I’d find someone else, someone that will appreciate you emotionally and physically.
She seems like the controlling type. “I don’t like how you look, but give me all your attention so I feel good.”
Sorry to be the bearer of bad news but she’s never going to be attracted to you. She can’t just “get past it”, it doesn’t work that way. You deserve genuine attraction like anyone else does.
Don’t do this to yourself. As others said, this is not something she can just “get past.” This isn’t “weird,” this is bad for your self-confidence, will lead to an unhappy and unfulfilling future, and is absolutely not your only option. There are people out there who will be attracted to all of you. Don’t settle for someone who has shown you they aren’t.
that is a friend
Is physical affection important to you? It’s important to me. I could be friends with someone without physical affection but it’s a non-negotiable for a relationship
You deserve a partner who is attracted to you for what’s inside and what’s outside.
So does she.
Anything else means at least one of you will have needs left unmet which will create resentment or pain.
It stinks, but it’s kinder to each of you to uncouple, and have the opportunity to find the partner who will love you inside and out.
Move on. Gotta have both in a sexual relationship.
Dang Bro you can’t be THAT ugly
Have some self respect and find someone who finds you attractive my guy. If no one finds you attractive go hit the gym and get cooler clothes.
If that doesn’t work go make enough money so some women eventually do.
The question is … Why do You want to choose someone that doesn’t find you attractive & has to work on it?
What type of person chooses people who don’t fully like them?
What type of person only accepts those who fully accept them?
Does she mean it in an asexual way or “I just like keeping you around because you make me feel good about myself” way? One is possibly workable, the other is not.
This situation isn’t fair to either of you. She’s being highly manipulative by holding onto you in hopes that something changes from a physical perspective.
Everyone deserves to be with a partner they are physically drawn to-it certainly doesn’t need to be the crux of the relationship (looks fade) but a baseline should exist. Don’t you want that for yourself? To have someone that wants you physically and mentally?
Friendzone. Also, OP your previous posts just show you’ve been interested in other women anyways so why keep stringing someone along or why keep getting strung along?! 🤷🏻♂️
Someone who is emotionally attracted, but not physically attracted, is just a friend. For a romantic relationship, find someone who is both, because marriage without sex sucks.
End it
Rule your feelings, or your feelings will rule you.
You are allowing your affection for her drive your acceptance of her not being attracted to you.
You need to be real with yourself. Attraction cannot be negotiated. Don’t sit there and think, we’ll maybe if I just act XYZ she will grow to like me. Maybe if I do more to show her how I feel…
No my friend. You’re setting yourself up for heartache. End this now.
You’re her Shoulder buddy I’ll suggest you to search someone else..
Imo she might grow to find you more attractive. I’ve felt the same way about someone that ended up losing lots of weight and getting in shape and I’m glad I didn’t throw the baby out with the bath water so to speak. Is there anything you can do to improve your appearance… or even getting more confidence can make someone more attractive and desirable. I’ve found men that weren’t conventionally good looking by todays beauty standards and I couldn’t get enough of them. Short & bald etc… but they exuded confidence and spit good game that made them sexy.
Don’t do it. Sounds like an easy way to get cheated on.
Yikes.
Trust me man, I’ve been in a similar situation. It does not work out, you’ll only waste valuable time and still end up with heartbreak. Mine was lasted for four years and when she found someone who gave her the spark she was looking for, she left.
Clearly the answer here is you need to get plastic surgery and get ripped
You two are not compatible. Move on unless you enjoy being in an unfulfilling relationship.
So she’s codependent/a clinger, if there’s a difference. If you don’t get out of the relationship, then your present is your future.
I was in her shoes before and often wonder if dude was my soulmate but I’m a hopeless romantic so idk. but I couldn’t do it no matter how hard I tried he was my best friend we lost our virginity to each other and stayed connected for years legit 2 peas in a pod had a blast every day together no Matter what all of our fights ended hilariously it was wonderful even if we were in other relationships we couldn’t not talk – we gave it another chance and I just couldn’t do it ended up walking all over him cause he was so in love with me and I just wasn’t attracted to him. He ended up leaving me cause he knew it and said to go get what you want – that’s love and I thank him so much for being understanding when I straight up broke his heart and looked him dead in his face and said I’m not attracted to you. he hits me up from time to time and I wonder if he wasn’t in a relationship if I could look past it now idk
Download Grammarly.
People are so messed up and confused nowadays.
Just stay away from her bro wtf she means by she is not attracted physically. When someone genuinely likes or love someone it doesn’t really matter how they look, they are always attracted to you in every way. Emotionally attracted????? Is this means a shoulder to cry on???
Leave. She has had 8 months of your time already. It’s enough time for her to have figured it out. It won’t get better at this point. Now she is keeping you around for comfort. You are not having your needs met
This is literally what a friend is. You’re friends.
Bro you deserve someone who is attracted to you at a bare minimum. Move on
Bro what happened to Salsa girl
It took 8 months for your girl to tell you that she’s not physically attracted to you? She finna use you as an emotional sponge
Your previous posts were trying to find a new dating app to get better matches and then another you’re saying you like a girl from your salsa class. I don’t think you’ve been in a relationship for the past 8 months.
Run fast bc that’s emasculating. My husbands ex did this to him for 7 years and emotionally messed him up