So I have a sexual partner who happens to be a black male and during intercourse he keeps saying that he wants me to say ‘f*ck me with that n*gga d*ck’.
For obvious reasons I don’t exactly fancy saying that word but he keeps telling me how much it turns him on and that it pleases him so much. Is it okay to say it with this context or is it still bad?
Thank you in advance for answering my question.
11 comments
You don’t need to do anything you are uncomfortable with!
I am in a relationship with a black man as well and race-play is a big no-no for both of us. But even IF he was into that and wanted me to say that I wouldn’t do it.
In the end it is up to you if that is a boundary for you or if you are comfortable with doing it for him.
Yes, you can say the word “dick” in this context!
Seriously though, he’s the audience so if he’s okay with (and it sure seems like he is) than it’s a different ballgame. You’re using a word for the sake of the pleasure of a loved one. Now, if you’re not comfortable with it, or feel like this is a kink you just don’t want to indulge, then you’re welcome to say no. But maybe think of it this way: you’re taking control of a narrative and using it for a positive outcome–the sexual pleasure of the both of you. It might wind up feeling empowering to know how to use powerful language in the best possible contexts…
Edit: Should clarify that that’s just this white lady’s opinion.
Hell no. You don’t do something you’re not comfortable with. Period.
Just imagine if someone happens to *hear* it. Your reputation will now be as a racist.
It’s definitely important to take pause when using that word, no need to disregard your own boundaries just because it makes a guy hard.
Set your boundaries and communicate it. Maybe if race play or any race fetishizing is just an absolute “no” for you then communicate that. Maybe ask yourself if you are fine with saying “big black dick” or something to substitute “the n word.”
I would be so awkward if I even tried to say that. Just with anything sexual, you have to just do what feels comfortable to you and this def sounds uncomfortable. He needs to respect your boundaries and chill on this.
If you feel uncomfortable then it’s bad. You should not be coerced into using that term against your will.
Talk about it outside the bedroom with him so you can tell him why it makes you uncomfortable.
If you do end up doing it or saying it, just keep it in the bedroom… Ive seen white woman get slapped calling their black man that word during an argument…
Woahhh what is he on I’m black and baffled 😭
Please for the love of whatever you believe in, do not put a hard R on the end. I would not want to do this either way but it seems like you are convincing yourself to do it. Please please if you do this, put an A on the end.
Racism in language is really tied to context, intent and tone; non racist words can be very racist ex. “you’re dating… “her?”. Here you have a situation where your partner is excited by the usage during an intimate act between the two of you. The taboo nature of the word and the recontextualization of “this word diminishes” to “this word makes superior” are likely what are driving his excitement.