I just got out of my first relationship so this is all really new and confusing for me. i’ve been seeing this guy for 3 months now but known him since a few years ago. it was going so well, in a really fun and relaxed way and i’ve been so happy.
yet, his ex messages him. and he replies. he’s very open about it, says they were more friends than anything for most of the relationship as there was not much chemistry (they were just both going through a dark time) and never hides his phone when he opens something from her.
my issue is that he made it clear they were very toxic, told everyone he regretted the whole thing, she is not a good person etc etc so in my head i question why you would be on friendly terms with someone like that, my ex and i were really good but i wouldn’t dream of casually messaging him a year after a breakup like that. i told him it made me very uncomfortable and he’s always very reassuring but i find it weird that he can’t just NOT respond to her random meme dms or snaps of her holiday to him. he says it’s because they aren’t on bad terms so he doesn’t have a reason i ignore the messages but he will start giving drier replies so that she “gets the message”. if we were official this would be so much easier.
i have deep trust issues and after coming out of such a long relationship i don’t want my time wasted or my heart broken. he’s so reassuring and open about it all so i’m torn between trusting someone so lovely or seriously taking issue with a seemingly harmless interaction
1 comment
I don’t want to tell you to trust if the person is untrustworthy.
But I just wanted to say it could definitely be possible that it is totally innocent. Some people just have this kind of relationship with their ex. Especially if he’s totally open about it and doesn’t hide his phone, that’s all good signs.
If you are extremely uncomfortable about the relationship, you could always voice that to him and see how it goes.