ok so me (20F) and this girl (22F) have been dating for about 2 months, but only seen each other about 4 times (we met on a dating app). neither of us have ever been in a proper relationship before.
she’s always been a very slow responder, often taking most of the day. I’ve always put this off as her adhd and busy schedule, but it’s getting to a point that feels like she’s ignoring me. she’s currently left me on read and I can see she’s been online. on our last date, I was super open and told her how much I like her and want to keep seeing her, but she didn’t really seem as keen.
I have autism and anxiety so I’m really good at overthinking all of this and my mental health is definitely taking a hit from it. is this worth pursuing?? can I tell her about how this is making me feel or will that be too much pressure??? I genuinely don’t think I can go back on a dating app, it takes so much out of me, but I’m sick of being single. any advice would be appreciated
TL;DR feel like I’m being ignored by person I’ve been dating for 2 months
2 comments
Well, the question would be does the current arrangement make you happy? And if not, is there anything that could be changed to alter your answer from no to yes?
Honestly the best thing to do would be to bring it up, explain that you sometimes you feel ignored, and that you get anxious after not hearing from her for so long. Tell her you understand that she may not be intentionally making you feel that way, and you understand that she gets busy and may forget to reply sometimes.
Option B is to just give it up, if it’s causing you this much anxiety so early on, is it worth it to keep pursuing? I had a partner like this before who would ignore me a lot and eventually became emotionally abusive. Now I have lots of insecurities I have to deal with in my new relationship; it’s always a constant battle to not go down the rabbit hole of anxiety that they’re ghosting/not interested in me every time I don’t hear from them for hours. I know deep down that they’d never do that to me, but the insecurity haunts me despite working on it for months. That, and I’m so afraid to bring up any concerns or voice my opinion, I’m worried that they’ll just break things off after any minor conflict or disagreement. This isn’t a way to live, don’t settle always anxious with an occasional happy when you can have so much more.