I (28M) and my long-distance girlfriend (27M) have very different styles of communication and it is causing conflict. I tend not to want to share as much information when talking and would rather do things together than talk. She on the other hand wants to share a lot of information about the things happening in her life, as well as things that happened in the distant past. I always ask questions about the things that I’m curious about.
If she continuously talks for some period of time though, say 15+ minutes, I feel overwhelmed and unable to either talk or listen. I feel so exhausted that I even struggle to have my own thoughts at that point and feel hurt that I haven’t gotten a break in the conversation. Part of it is that I care about certain stories more than others (I care more about what is happening now in her life than about childhood stories) or about background info she has already told me, but the biggest part is that it is a gauntlet for me to listen continuously for what feels to me like a long time.
I don’t want to feel exhausted listening to my girlfriend, and I don’t want her to feel hurt when I tell her that I am overwhelmed and need a break from the conversation to either have my own space to talk or simply to breathe.
Are our communication styles too different to overcome? Or what things can we do differently to break this cycle? We are actively talking about this so we are not sweeping it under the rug, but any communication strategies are completely welcome
**tl;dr** \- Girlfriend loves to talk, I feel exhausted from continuous listening, and then she feels hurt