Hey nice people, I suffer from a broken heart, I know its cliche, but I cant get over this guy. We’ve been together for two years, it was the most meaningful relationship I’ve ever had. We clicked mentally and physically immediately. He is two years younger than me and we had some issues due to bad communication from his side. He was avoidant when I confronted him, never admitted the fault, gaslighting me etc. I stayed hoping he will start taking me serious like he did before our relationship and in the beginning. We broke up two months ago when i didnt feel desired like i used to. It was a really subtle change but I noticed. He never tried to work it out, but wanted to stay a friend and keep in touch, in case he changes his mind I guess. I took it really bad, and today I found out he went on a summer trip with his friends which was his wish even while we were together, and which bothered me a lot knowing im low on his priority list. I now feel twice as broken, and im having trouble processing all these negative emotions. I invested so much understanding, patience and love in these two years just to be left feeling drained. I feel like a joke.
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Obviously I don’t know either of you. However, from the little you described, I believe I know the type of couple you made. Here is what I would be willing to bet on…
You were likely seeking constant affirmation and attention from him. Though he was really happy with you and loved you, it wore him down over time. You began to feel you are too insecure. He was unwilling to constantly fulfill your need for affirmation. Often feeling he was just repeating himself, he would try to either explain/defend himself or he would stop before it led to what he knew would be an argument. You interpreted those two things as him gaslighting you and avoiding you. I’m neither blaming him nor you… these are often not compatible personalities. Likely, you seek too much of want he doesn’t want to provide. And, he is not giving you enough of the type of communication to satisfy what you want.
I could be 100% wrong; but, I’m guessing I’m pretty close to what happened.