We broke up due to our mental state right now. She doesn’t want a relationship that will turn toxic and become on and off and that’s understandable, so she’s closed herself off to the possibility of restarting. She still wants me as friends and I the same but she still wants me to do relationship things like good morning and goodnight texts. I also want that but I guess i’m just so confused on why we can’t date again after all we’ve been through. I’m willing to genuinely go through couples therapy and so much more but she’s closed herself off and says at the moment she just can’t. I guess i’m wondering if there’s anything I can say to truly close this off or to have a conversation with her in hopes to try again in some different type of way. I’m not looking to cut things off completely because she’s someone who’s never done anything wrong to me and I love her dearly. I talked to her yesterday and it was very bittersweet and she expressed that she will always love me and that she wants to have a relationship but simply doesn’t know how she can since her brain is scared of the possibility of us ending things again. I’m looking for advice, my life is changing so drastically so fast and it’s overwhelming. My brother and family are trying to convince me to move to another uni so that I stay as far from her as possible but I created a life here. I’m just so upset that this situation has caused me to even consider moving like I don’t know.
I’m not really looking to hear “oh you’re too young, you have a whole life ahead of you and you can find others”. When you truly love someone, you’re willing to fight for it. And i’m at that point right now, help me articulate my feelings towards her.
TLDR: We broke up but love each other way too much. I’m willing to create drastic change but she’s scared of all possibilities. I need advice on what j can say or do.
2 comments
Dude I’m (19f) with a (20m) boyfriend and we are in this spot as well so I offer my understand that this shit is so so hard and hurtful but my advice not be the most solid as I’m in the situation of my Bf feels super uncertein of his future and he thinks he needs to be alone to figure things out but as a compromise I have stood my ground in believing we can still grow while having a relationship AS LONG as we have open communication and all we need to do is reassess our boundaries and what we can give and receive and what are dealbreakers. I do offer that space might be needed in my situation has hard is that is to hear maybe moving could create some good for both of y’all but definitely tell them that you would love to continue the relationship and willing to compromise with them in this journey. But do anchor down and prepare for the worst because even though you can approach it in such a mature manner they might not be in the right head space to understand and at the end of the day if they let someone like us go, that has to be on them and they will see that.
She may love you and care about you, but she doesn’t want to be with you right now, and you’re hurting yourself by hanging around hoping she’ll change her mind. Sounds like you need some real space from each other. It’s a lot more difficult to move on from a breakup if you’re still constantly texting and talking to each other.