He makes me feel bad for wanting sex

30 comments

1. You are not compatible in your sex drives, that’s all.

2. There is nothing wrong with you. Dump the douchebag and find someone that will value your feelings and desires. Time is only going to make it worse.

3. The comments are intentionally meant to make you feel like you have a problem. If he implies that you have a problem, the focus won’t be on his low sex drive, which he may feel emasculated by. It’s a kind of negging or gaslighting or one of those ‘not nice’ things people do to shift the focus of a problem on someone else.

4. Forget for a moment your mismatched libidos. Why are you dating someone who tries to shame you for that mismatch?

5. are you guys like together together like dating?

6. and have you guys ever had sex before?

7. Time to see someone else

8. move on.

9. Your drives are mismatched and for some reason he’s putting that on you. Whether he’s trying to deny his low libido or he really thinks yours is that high, what he’s doing is screwed up. Even if you were a sex addict and interested in sex four times a day, this approach is just mean.

   If you haven’t already addressed it, I would definitely talk to him about it. Allowing yourself to be treated this way is either going to slowly eat at your self esteem or silently build up until there’s no chance of saving the relationship.

10. Seems like you would be much happier with someone whose sex drive matched yours. Nobody wants their sexual advances rejected, especially the way he does it. There is nothing wrong with you. Many men would be very grateful to be with a lady with a healthy sex drive like yours. You will get tired of having your sexual advances rejected and move on. It happens with both men and ladies all the time. I never reject a sexual advance, And if the current time is not possible, I make sure that we do it as soon as possible. So it is not a rejection, but rather a slight postponement with an apology. Like I really want your hot body, can we do it in an hour because I have a deadline to finish and send a response , , , ,

11. I’m sorry but that’s just wrong,I would love if my girlfriend would be like that,it’s natural for you and a lot of men including myself would actually appreciate someone like that…

12. I think you need to let him go since y’all aren’t dating it shouldn’t be a big loss. Does he know what casual means?lol. I’m sure your feelings are hurt by his comment and it can have repercussions down the road if you don’t find someone that’ll appreciate you

13. First you need to know what type of person he is.Some people get turned on mentaly, some physically.Some people need pre-sex stimulus, like worldplay and talk and indirect induendo’s some prefer direct communication, some prefer do it in the moment without thinking and enjoy it, others need planning to be able to fully relax..

    As for hi’s statements, he sound frustrated and minsuderstood or he doesn’t seem to enjoy if it’s a chore, maybe your libido’s don’t match, maybe some other reasons, but at the end of the day, you need to talk about it.He seems to be passive agressive instead of being to be objective , maybe self esteem issues of some sort…

    but what’s interesting here is responses and some comments, because usually when women would do something like this, women say underdstand their emotions and be supportive and try and understand, when men act emotionally and can’t seem to control emotions and express them in healthy ways, they’re hold to the standard that women can’t even hold themselves up to usually, kinda a double standard if you ask me. 😀

    Also, do you even enjoy sex with him, once yoou do have sex?

14. >I just want to understand what’s going on because I’m so confused.

    Then ask him. Be honest about how his comments make you feel and ask why he feels like he does.

    Possible he has a low libido and sex when you want it *is* a chore for him. Seems Iike sex isn’t the same priority for him than it is for him. And if this is just casual do you need to settle for that?

15. This relationship is a waste of your time and effort. Move on.

16. It’s possible you have completely mismatched sex drives. It’s also possible that he’s asexual and just not interested in sex, and therefore views your sex drive as insanely high.

    “Can we just cuddle and talk” is fine, but all of the other statements aren’t.

    How often are you wanting/asking for sex? Have you had a conversation with him about this? Communication is important, even in casual relationships.

17. Remind me again why you are seeing this guy.

    It isn’t for the sex, obviously. And he is not very considerate of your feelings.

    If you are sticking with him because you are under the impression it would be difficult to find someone who *will* have sex with you and *will* try to make you feel good about yourself — well, you’re mistaken.

18. He has got to be the worst FWB I have ever read about.

19. i feel like we went through the same guy lol

20. I’m 28 and my bf is 23 and my sex drive is even higher than his. He def doesn’t make these kind of comments but there have for sure been moments where he’s said “I can’t keep up I’m not a machine” and “you’re definitely the horniest woman I’ve ever met” which makes me feel a little dumb but also… women have been forced by society to be sexual objects but not creatures of sexual desire. It’s like there is this huge stigma around it and the notion that women aren’t horny has been around so long it’s like when we actually show how sexual we are, they suddenly get intimidated and don’t like it 😂 moral of the story is it’s totally okay if his sex drive doesn’t match, he shouldn’t be making you feel bad about it though. Own your horny and go find a dude who can keep up.

21. Move on

    He’s a NO

22. how could be cheating

23. LMFAOOOO their is nothing wrong with you. find someone else. prob solved

24. It sounds like he’s not actually interested in a fwb/casual sex kind of relationship. Stop wasting your time with someone who’s making you feel guilty for wanting sex. There are plenty of guys out there who will be thrilled that you have a good healthy sex drive

25. You’re a very young 22. You are not sexually compatible with him and he is being very disrespectful to you. Some people just naturally desire sex more often than other people – nothing wrong with that.

    It sounds like this relationship is not good for you and you need to find someone more compatible with your needs and who is also kinder and more respectful to you.

26. I was 23 when I got with someone who “didn’t like sex” at 20yrs old. It was fine for the first 3 months of our relationship, and then afterwards, the excuses just wouldn’t stop. It was like a switch flipped in him.. course the few times we did have sex, I got pregnant by him..

    It’s been over 3 years and all I can say is don’t stay with someone whose always rejecting you. It’ll destroy your self esteem.

27. Move on.

    Seriously. He doesn’t want a relationship with you, and he doesn’t want to give you the mind-blowing sex life of your dreams.

    The longer you wait, the bigger the risk you end up sexually insecure.

28. I been there it’s a trap he didn’t want Causual sex he wanted me to fight for our love and me I was trying to be respectful of him only because wanting sex I only agree with him cause I
    Want to spend
    Time with
    Him an convince him that I love him and
    He’s so sexy so I only listened to my friends who told me to go with the flow I have ocd so
    The flow doesn’t go if I
    Have no Sense of directions I will be there stuck like at the store with my mom I’ll get like two shampoo and I will read the ingredient and check the ounces and weigh my options and
    My mom yelling it’s
    Just fucking shampoo grab it qnd
    Go

29. At his age he should find it difficult to keep his hands off you. He probably has low libido and his negative comments are intended to make you afraid to ask for sex. Get away from this limp dick a**hole.

30. This is a serious question not trying to offend…. “could it be he thinks your sex is bad 👎 “