I have led a pretty tragic life for lack of a better word, so I have no idea how I consistently find so much to humble brag about.
I’ve realized that in almost any form of communication possible, I’ll find some way to bring up a big or small accomplishment or upper hand I have and lay it out like it’s neutral toned/negative/self deprecating, when obviously it’s truly meant to impress the other person I’m talking to.
I noticed this a while ago, realized how long I’ve been doing it, and I’ve been trying so hard to stop. No one wants to hear those things. No one cares. At this point, they probably don’t even retain any of it. I’d drown me out too. Along with that, I really have no reason to be impressing other people as I’m kind of a failure and really should just work on myself instead of caring about the opinions of anyone else. And I know this, and yet I find the humble brags will slip out in any prolonged conversation one way or another.
I’m 19 and I’m afraid if I don’t kick the habit now, I never will. I’ve been trying to make a conscious effort, but I guess it’s hard to think about that while I’m already mid conversation and submersed in the topic at hand.
I look like such a pretentious freak and I can’t bear to be this person any longer, any tips on not humble bragging?
2 comments
Speak a little more slowly.
When talking to new people, they won’t know your natural speaking speed is a little faster. This gives you time to think about what you say before you say it. Meet new people and practice more.
Before you know it, you’ll be free from humble bragging and will have a completely new issue to worry about
;O)
Humble bragging is a special case of passively trying to seek somebody’s approval or validation of yourself. So the question is you need to ask why you need their approval or validation ? You know yourself the best. It is your own responsibility, not others, to validate yourself. People aren’t looking to approve and validate you. They want to have a genuine, decent conversation with you. The more you seek approval and attention from others, the more needy and desperate you will be, especially when others don’t give it to you. People know and sense when you are needy and desperate. There are tell tale signs that reveal it like humblebragging. They are hardwired to be repulsed by neediness and desperation. Focus on genuinely connecting with people. People respect those who are self confident and bring positive vibes and are well rounded enough in life to not depend on external validation and approval. Chase excellence, not people.