Been socially isolated since I was very young besides my parents and online friends for the most part and honestly it seems like most advice expects you to know how to do things already or to have like baseline knowledge I don’t understand. I’m starting college soon and I’m tired of shedding years just existing or being ignored unless I make any interaction transactional (doing tasks for people like work or chores) like I did in highschool.
For example I don’t even really know what small talk is and examples seem to just be compliments or comments that don’t go anywhere; how does telling a stranger I like their shirt do anything? Is it because of location? If so what locations work and which don’t? Do I say something specific I like with the shirt to continue or is that weird/awkward?
I also don’t really know what’s socially appropriate in the slightest besides that being direct (“hi, want to be friends”) is considered offputting it seems. I don’t really know how to interact with people at all and it ends up even more difficult when you have no childhood experiences or anything interesting for people to learn about outside of hobbies, like I’m not at the same development and i can’t really go to strangers and say “hey i find this cool do you?”
Hobbies don’t really do anything either when you live in a small area with a predominately older demographic (what are these clubs people keep talking about? And average age here is 40 or older when I’m only about 18). Even more confusing when people mention talking to coworkers cause they’re both old and don’t really talk to anyone, wouldn’t they be gone if you change jobs too? Idk it all feels foreign to me
how would you avoid making groups specifically when making friends without it being rude? I can’t really talk to more than 1 person, maybe 2 and it seems like everyone wants to drag you with other people where you’re kind of just waiting for the one person you know to be done with the others.
Hell at this point I need like a script just to talk to cashiers and whenever I ask friends about it they just tell me that it just happens and I should do whatever i usually do and end up friends with someone. Am I not even meant to directly and actively persue people? How do humananam work? Why can’t I just give people a cool thing or fresh baked bread and get a friend? Idk I’d give my number if someone gave me homemade bread or a trinket