Is there really any hope for people who truly cannot socialize naturally?

Seeing therapists has actually pushed me further into the notion that I basically have no hope of meeting people naturally. Their advice and counseling is simply not something I’m capable of acting on. I’m writing here as kind of a last ditch effort, but will probably encounter the same stuff I’ve heard my entire life.

I don’t know if there is anyone out there that is like me, or that can relate to this. If there is, I would like to hear your story.

Basically, I was always the ‘quiet’ kid in school, no one talked to me, and I talked to no one. And now i’m in my late 20s and still carry that trait. I’m extremely isolated and have never really been able to have any lasting friends or social groups. I just can’t seem to socialize naturally.

I am so weird and so eccentric that I can’t even fit into the stereotypically ‘weird’ groups or communities, let alone ‘normal’ ones. I had to quit my job because the social activities with coworkers was starting to take a serious toll on me. Every time I try to socialize, I have to put on an extremely thick ‘mask’ to at least appear normal and deeply conceal who I really am. I expend a huge amount of energy keeping this ‘mask’ on and sometimes I just run out of energy and end up saying or doing something that makes people think I’m a fucking psycho. I hate it.

I find absolutely zero enjoyment in 99.9% of typical (and even atypical) social activities. First there’s all the ‘normal’ stuff, like movies, concerts, sports, drinking, travel, cooking, pets, etc. Then there’s the more ‘niche’ and ‘hobby’ stuff, like video games, cars, fantasy, art, volunteer work, etc. I’ve tried many of these such activities and NONE have ever allowed me to take off my ‘mask’. These activities do not provide enough mental stimulation. My mind runs extremely fast and if I even start to be myself for even a little bit, people always tell me to “slow down” or something of the like. I seem to be mentally incapable of sitting back and relaxing.

When I’m not around other people I’m constantly doing something to free my mind, but it’s pretty much always something intricate or fast-paced, something that there isn’t just a “club” for down the street. My house, garage, and yard are filled with quite literally hundreds of different engineering projects, machines, electronics, chemicals, and things of that sort. And if anyone ever came to my place, they’d probably flip shit and call the FBI. I don’t even do these projects because I’m a mad scientist or whatever, it’s just an escape from what (in my mind) is the slow-paced nature of everyone around me and people always telling me to ‘slow down’.

From what I can gather on this sub, it seems like there is a lot of cliché advice floating around. I am reading a lot of “you need therapy” and “just find a hobby” and “work on your social skills” type comments. None of those things work for me. I am simply too out of place with the overwhelming majority of society. What I’m hoping to find by writing this is potentially someone else in a similar situation; someone who really understands what it’s like to be radically different. The loneliness is really (literally) starting to kill me. I am unimaginably frustrated and don’t really see myself making it to 40.