I have a huge problem with literally changing myself to try to be like other people. This has been a problem I have had ever since I have been a child. Also, I have had a problem with copying off of people instead of being myself all my life.
For example in third grade, there was a kid I copied off of and tried to be like him all the time. I would copy the way he would write, he played hockey, so I got my mom to sign me up for hockey even though I don’t even like that sport and I literally acted like I was so interested and passionate about it because he was even though I don’t even like hockey. I would copy the way he would act and the way he would eat. I would copy how he put his notebooks and books inside his desk.
There was a compliant jar that we had where we would write different complaints that we had about our classmates and the teacher would read them. One time she read five straight complaints that said I needed to stop copying off of him.
Also in high school, this kid I was friends with wore a tie-dye hoodie to school multiple times. Now I’m not a person that likes to wear things like that. However, I copied him, bought one, and started wearing it to school. People called me out for copying off of him. I later ended up seriously regretting it because I knew in my heart that it wasn’t like me to wear anything like that.
5 comments
Well if I tell you and you do it, then you’d just be copying me
I’ve had that same issue for a lot of my life. I think a lot of it comes from something that happened to us during childhood where we’re not so much copying, but seeking outward approval from others, or lacking in the approval department and seeing those that we admire as being approvable people that we should imitate. For me I think it stems from a lot of heavy criticism growing up where as a result I didn’t feel confident with anything I would be or create and would instead be inspired by the people around me.
My childhood was also…different. Not in a bad way, but a little too old fashioned where I wasn’t really permitted the freedom to explore things that were mainstream or modern.
It took a traumatic relationship for me to retreat into my own shell and be determined to be who I really want to be, which I don’t even know right now. I’m now in the process of identifying what my interests are and how to truly be myself, and coming to acceptance with who I am, what I am, and what I produce, and finding ways of taking pride or pleasure in it rather than thinking I’m shit for what I do or that my output doesn’t have any worth.
It’s a really long, hard, drawn-out process, but it’s slowly yielding fruit. Rather than care about how I may come across to someone else’s perception, I’m just doing it and putting my blinders on. And it feels really good.
Don’t ask frequent and worthless questions on reddit like others do. Think for yourself and find your answer to your problems.
I know it’s easier said than done, but you need to learn to just not care what people think. If they don’t vibe with you, that’s not your problem. Be who you are, and be proud to be who you are. Your little idiosyncrasies are what make you who you are, so embrace them
because you’re a copier.. better known as a sheep.. and idk how to help out a sheep cause truthfully men like you disgust me.. sorta like you have no back bone, uk the saying all parents say “if your friend jumped off a building would you?”.. good to know someones answers out there is “yes.. yes i would jump”